What I am, I am Not, It makes sense to me, so don't worry. Options

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

What I am, I am Not

I am the lunar eclipse
riding the sea mounts
a speckled foamed tidal wave
a shadow of sorrows.
I have talked with the stars.

my other jeans arrive shortly

Narrow master binder, filler of books, page turner.

I am the lighter of candles
wax impressions of fingerprints
left behind.

Music is the poetry of notes assembled
one after the other -

Flash-forward, flash-back;

I am the maker of time and history.

I am God like, but I am not a God -
except to small field mice,
and one stray dog.

rotate your radicals

I am the river, I am the raver
I am the giver, I am the saver
I am the power, I am the light
I am nothing, I am the night
I am what I am...

what do you suppose

I am but cloth filled with straw

I am the scarecrow.

31 Mar 2010
© Steve Pray

[Siren]

Hey Steve,

It is rare that the "I am" poems work so easily and fluently. I am very fond of this one.

It flows wonderfully and the descriptions are amazing...

The opening stanza made me go "WOW!"

Great read.

No nits from me.

Dani

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Dani, Well thank you for the wonderful and kind words. At least you didn't say it sounded crazy...lol. My intent was not to write an 'I am' poem, but it suddenly just took over. Thank you very much for the wow factor.

Steve

PS I am doing very well these past few days, the change up in medication especially the merinol has helped immensely, actually I am having to back off a little because they were making me feel very sleepy. But most of the pain is gone and the depression is not to be found. Now if I could only convince my feet that there is a floor under them...lol.

Take care
Steve

[Eisa]

Hi Steve

This is fascinating - I'm not sue I understand it all on first read, but I really like it.

I am the lunar eclipse
riding the sea mounts
a speckled foamed tidal wave
a shadow of sorrows.
I have talked with the stars.

This 1st stanza is awesome!


Narrow master binder, book filler, page turner.

I am the candle lighter

This is a suggestion of a couple of changes here

and possibly

I am the time and history maker

I am God like, but I am not a God -
except to small field mice,
and one stray dog.

Great thinking here!

I shall come back to this Steve to have another read -- but I really like this!

Hugs
Snow

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Eisa, thanks for reading and your kind words... as always I look for your great critiques and comments. you have a way of looking straight to the point of where I wanted to go, but meandered toward instead. Any suggestions are most welcome.

Stevbe

[Thoth]

Dear Steve,

On the second read through, it all fell into place and made perfect sense to me. I guess a sort of mindset orientation was needed to get me aligned. The strange sensation is that our minds seem to be very closely matched and as each phrase came forward, the choice of words seemed to be nearly optimum as a first parse can be.

It is powerful and loaded with emotional triggers, contrasting
Images and interesting symbols. The opening lines had a tint of the Moody Blues and I felt myself floating away with lyrics. I especially liked the two almost refrains, the last being my favourite.

“I am the river, I am the raver
I am the giver, I am the saver
I am the power, I am the light
I am nothing, I am the night
I am what I am...”


I am unsure of what this style of yours is called. Defiantly too rhythmic to be free verse but too loosely structured for form, I am liking it more each new piece you write.

One thing is for certain - I am left deeply affected by this piece. The courage I see in your writing is an inspiration for me. Thank you.

Would you object if I wrote a lyric based on this poem?

Glad to hear the meds are working for you.

Cheers,

Wally

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Wally, Thank you for reading and understanding, which I know can be hard to do on this one. I don't think it is a form of any sort that is why I put it in Serenes, I am always looking for a new and different way to say things and hope that the meaning comes thru when I am finished. Actually I don't think the moody's had any reference here at all...more Alan Parsons...who's music and lyrics and formed albums have made me think deep thoughts. every time I listen I hear more. I am glad you think I have courage in writing these, when what I have is not knowing what is going to come out... Wally if you wish to write lyrics inspired by these poems, please feel free.

Steve