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> Tanka, 5-7-5-7-7 [or less]
JustDaniel
post Sep 15 06, 11:23
Post #1


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Posts: 18,451
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Note: I'd thought there had been a post on this form earlier, but I could not locate it. If I'm incorrect, please let me know.

Tanka is a Japanese form of poetry of 31 onji; the closest we Americans come to that is to think in terms of 31 syllables. The lines are generally 5,7,5,7,7 syllables in length -- or preferably less -- short-long-short-long-long.

I'm told that the earlier tanka shifted rhythm after the 12th onji; the more modern ones de-emphasize the location of shift or switch after the 17th.

At any rate, here are some of my own attempts, for whatever they may be worth:


Stumbling

Stumbling into growth
may be bloody painful stuff,
but scars remind me
this vulnerability
opens my heart to loving.

© MLee Dickens'son 05 July 2002



Jesus’ Earthy Dad


kept her a virgin
miraculous conception
of Mary’s Joseph
whose union was further blessed:
four sons and unnamed daughters

© MLee Dickens'son12 Dec 2003

- Matthew 1:25; Mark 6:3



annuals vs. perennial


‘lovers’ seek to come
seasoned and with wild bouquet
pretending to root;
a love is but one… who blooms
when planted in nurtured ground

© MLee Dickens'son 18 Dec 2003


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Alan
post Apr 11 12, 08:34
Post #2


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Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends



I can't
like your knees
gnarled
and knobbly
unneccessarily so

Alan

Daniel, you say 31 sylls or less, but HOW much less is still OK ? DSoes this qualify as short-long-short-lon-long ?


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Posts in this topic
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