Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews [Powered by Invision Power Board]

Posted by: Ali zonak Aug 4 17, 11:01

Greetings to all poets and writers:

This week we have two lovely pictures provided by our fellow poet Ali Zonak. They are here to inspire all of you to write sonnets, ballads, villanelles or any other form you wish. You may also write FV poems and short stories. Select both or one of the pictures.

MM always looks forward to your answers to these challenges. Can't wait!

Good luck, Psyche

Posted by: Psyche Aug 10 17, 23:01

Hi Ali,
I've moved your lovely lighthouses over to Acropolis as well, for the weekly MM challenges.
I've left them in Hermes, because I don't know whether you wish them to remain.
Please let me know, so that members know that the challenge is set up.
Best,
Psyche

Posted by: Ali zonak Aug 11 17, 06:35

QUOTE (Psyche @ Aug 11 17, 00:01 )

Hi Ali,
I've moved your lovely lighthouses over to Acropolis as well, for the weekly MM challenges.
I've left them in Hermes, because I don't know whether you wish them to remain.
Please let me know, so that members know that the challenge is set up.
Best,
Psyche

Thanks, Psyche;
yes, this is perfectly fine. I hope other members are up to the challenge.

Ali

Posted by: Larry Aug 11 17, 16:06

for the lighthouse painted like a barber pole

Folks don’t come for a haircut or shave
to this house that’s tucked into a nave
of a rocky coastline
but I think it’s divine
to save most from a watery grave.

Posted by: Ali zonak Aug 11 17, 19:24

QUOTE (Larry @ Aug 11 17, 16:06 )

for the lighthouse painted like a barber pole

Folks don’t come for a haircut or shave
to this house that’s tucked into a nave
of a rocky coastline
but I think it’s divine
to save most from a watery grave.

Love it, Larry! heheheh

My own meager effort might be:

This painter had white paint and red;
Let’s paint up a lighthouse he said.
Red stripes on pure white,
The beacon flashed bright,
“Get shave’n haircuts, two bits per head!”

Posted by: JustDaniel Aug 12 17, 03:41

I will give this some thought for a sonnet;
the painting's now under my bonnet.
I can hear Larry say
while he's looking this way,
"I will swear that I knew he would don it!"

Posted by: Larry Aug 16 17, 13:56

and on a more serious note...

Sentinels

An ember gleams upon horizon’s lip
when sighted through the fog on stormy seas
and slowly, it becomes a fingertip
that points from rocky promontory’s keys

to safer shores. An alabaster spear
will pierce the darkest night. Miasma’s heart
is torn asunder like a sailor’s fear
that dissipates with light and will impart

a sense of ease. This stolid knight will stand
on guard, dressed in his comic uniform
of candied stripes. On every shore his band
will warn of danger, keeping all from harm.

A sentinel and shrine for those who brave
the ocean’s depth; a shield from briny grave.

Posted by: Ali zonak Aug 17 17, 14:33

QUOTE (Larry @ Aug 16 17, 14:56 )

and on a more serious note...

Sentinels

An ember gleams upon horizon’s lip (horizon's lip is a great metaphor)
when sighted through the fog on stormy seas
and slowly, it becomes a fingertip (same with fingertip)
that points from rocky promontory’s keys

to safer shores. An alabaster spear ( great image)
will pierce the darkest night. Miasma’s heart (unsure about Miasma. As in " miasma of fear"?
is torn asunder like a sailor’s fear
that dissipates with light and will impart

a sense of ease. This stolid knight will stand
on guard, dressed in his comic uniform
of candied stripes. On every shore his band
will warn of danger, keeping all from harm.

A sentinel and shrine for those who brave
the ocean’s depth; a shield from briny grave.

A fine sonnet, Larry. I'm not sure about Miasma's heart. I love what the stolid knight's colored stripes signify. Pressed on time, I'll need to come back. Offhand, except for Miasma's heart (sounds like a proper noun, which you may have intended, lol,) I find no nits. Ali

Posted by: Larry Aug 19 17, 21:40

Hey Ali,

If you will notice in the stanza above "Miasma", I used the word fog which is what Websters' defines as a murk, miasma, thick haze, etc.. Not wanting to be redundant, I used a different word. Besides, it matched the metrical flow of the sonnet.

Glad you enjoyed.

Larry

Posted by: Ali zonak Aug 20 17, 06:31

QUOTE (Larry @ Aug 19 17, 21:40 )