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> GORGEOUS GEORGE, sonnets, interlocked
Merlin
post Jan 2 16, 17:33
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Last spring/summer, I got myself 6 chickens and a rooster. After their arrival, I wrote a the set somewhere below, entitled >>> Six Chickens - CLICK HERE. At the time I made mention of Gorgeous George, the rooster, but didn't write the continuation until a short while back. I have done revision and now present the story. It is a summer setting.



GORGEOUS GEORGE

There was an ad that pointed straight at me:
“In search of rooster for a laying flock
of Auracana hens.” “Look, Gorgeous, see
the possibilities! Let's go and talk;
perhaps we'll make a deal so you'll be king
amongst a younger set than these old gals.”

A basket-cage became the perfect thing
to transport Gorgeous George to new-found pals
across two mountain ranges, over hills,
unto a parking lot where we would meet
the lady who had placed that ad. Oh, thrills
with feathered friends whom he had yet to greet.

A note arrived weeks later how he'd done –
it's plain to see, he had a lot of fun.

-o-o-o---0 o 0---o-o-o-

It's plain to see, he had a lot of fun
and chicks have hatched, all grayish-blue or black.
He's watchful with his hawk-like eyes; their run
stays well protected from an air attack.

Here, back at home, all's peaceful and serene;
Ms. Moult is pleased that he's no longer there
to jump on her wherever she is seen.
She's laying eggs, XL, with full fanfare.

His buddy Butch, (I'm sure that she is gay!)
mopes to and fro. Rhode Island Fred next door
is dead and gone. He went berserk one day,
attacked his master – now he crows no more.

Warm summer days, it's pleasant as can be;
there was an ad that pointed straight at me.


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Luce
post Jan 2 16, 21:37
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Poor Butch, poor Rhode Island Fred. sad.gif

Gotta read up on sonnets before I can give a crit. Not familiar with the different types.

I just wanted to drop by to say I liked reading about the amorous adventures of Gorgeous George.

Luce
 
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Merlin
post Jan 3 16, 11:38
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Thanks for looking in, Luce.
These would not be the best sonnet examples to consider. I did stick fairly closely to the Shakespearean/English style, allowing myself some leeway here and there. If one adheres to the rules, there should be a volta, or turn, somewhere around L9. That also sort of requires a problem or condition presented in the first 8 lines, and a resolution to it in the final 4 or 6 lines. The usual ending for the couplet should be something profound... all these things are missing here as I did a rather light-hearted offering.
Of course, one can be creative and not do the hardclad rules, without that there would never have been a Wordsworthian sonnet, or others.

Glad you stopped to read.

Merlin


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Larry
post Jan 3 16, 13:10
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Hi Merlin,

I'm glad you posted the continuation to Ms. Moult and her friends. I enjoyed all four sonnets and although they are not strictly in the "purist" form, they are deliciously funny.

You are calling this an "interlocking" sonnet but I am more familiar with the term "chained" sonnet. You have used the last line of the prior sonnet (instead of just a word) to start the next sonnet.

Whatever you wish to call it, it was funny. Oh, did you dine on Fred or was he just a tough old bird?

Note to Luce: No asterisks - No critique requested.


Larry


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Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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Luce
post Jan 3 16, 15:25
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QUOTE (Larry @ Jan 3 16, 13:10 ) *
Hi Merlin,

Note to Luce: No asterisks - No critique requested.


Larry


Yes, you're right. Sorry about that. I just go into automatic crit mode sometimes.

Luce
 
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Eisa
post Jan 3 16, 17:26
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QUOTE (Luce @ Jan 3 16, 20:25 ) *
QUOTE (Larry @ Jan 3 16, 13:10 ) *
Hi Merlin,

Note to Luce: No asterisks - No critique requested.


Larry


Yes, you're right. Sorry about that. I just go into automatic crit mode sometimes.

Luce


Luce, you have nothing to apologise for. This is a critique forum not for exhibition. In the guidelines it states:

Note: Beginning on July 20 2013, we are reverting back to critiques only in this forum. Please post a tag line either in the title description or in the beginning of your thread stating your desired level of critique. That can be done by simply using a series of stars for light (*), medium (**), or full (***) critique. The 1:2:2 rule still applies.

All poetry posted in Herme's should be up for a level of critique.

Merlin, this really is a wonderful piece of work and I can't see the need for critique. Perhaps you'd like to display it in Plato's Pearls of Wisdom, Poetry Exhibition. We could do with some more polished works there.

Eira


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Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal.
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Merlin
post Jan 3 16, 18:37
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Hi Eira,
Thank you for the kind comments. As to the suggestion it be posted in another forum, I think I'll pass on that. There are simply too many forums for me to navigate. I go to one, usually at the top, and perhaps another. Putting this where there's no activity doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
About a year ago, several of us made the suggestion to do a clean-up of the entire site. Pinned notices have reached teen years and we wondered how pertinent they were/are. They've seen no action whatsoever, but there was no appetite to modify the many sites.

And Luce, there certainly is no apology required. I'm not against critique, especially having done lots in my time. It's how one learns.

This ends my chicken story. When winter was approaching and me being down to 4 hens, I gave them to a neighbor across the way who also had a small flock. I threw in a sack of feed if he'd take 'em, and they could make one slightly larger flock. I've chickened out, so to speak.

Best,

Merlin


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Luce
post Jan 4 16, 03:14
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QUOTE (Merlin @ Jan 3 16, 18:37 ) *
.....This ends my chicken story. When winter was approaching and me being down to 4 hens, I gave them to a neighbor across the way who also had a small flock. I threw in a sack of feed if he'd take 'em, and they could make one slightly larger flock. I've chickened out, so to speak.

Best,

Merlin


Oh good grief. All this talk of amorous chickens, some with gender issues, has made me want to get chickens. But, I doubt if the neighbor ducks that come by to crap in my flower bed, would be nice to them.
They've gotten pretty possessive. I've seen them chase flocks of egrets away.

 
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Merlin
post Jan 4 16, 20:28
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My hens were more pets than anything, Luce. Such a small number makes it easy to see the various personalities they have. Butch was the Alpha-hen after GG left; that's fairly common in flocks when there is no rooster that one hen assumes the authority position. Ms Moult was the skinniest and the hungriest, always right there when I came with the food. It was nice having them around, and they kept the area under the apple trees well under control so I didn't need to cut the grass. On the negative side, somebody always needs to be around for feeding. That cut into my freedom somewhat.

Give it a try, along with the ducks. They may just get along well and your garden will be fertilized!

M


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Psyche
post Jan 30 16, 02:38
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Hi Merlin,

I've been viewing older posts and came across this chained and/or interlocked sonnet.

Had a good laugh with your piece about chickens. And the last two lines are profound enough for chickens...LOL.

You're so right about chickens having various personalities. We had lots of chickens on our apple farm. One of my duties was to feed them. I loved casting the orange maize around for them, but had to make sure the shy ones got their share. There were some bossy, greedy ones!

The rooster certainly had fun with his harem...wow...children learn a lot on farms!
At first my Dad purchased all sorts of chickens, no breeds, just a mix. So I gave them names, same as in your sonnet. Snow White, Bad Witch, Blacky and so on. Trouble is, I used to beg my Dad not to wring their necks for the pot, I was fond of them.

So he eventually got all brown Rhode Islands. They looked the same, so I didn't care much any more. And we finally had tender roast chickens! He'd wring their necks long before they became tough old birds.

No nits here, tx for the laugh!

Syl***


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The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



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Arnfinn
post Jan 30 16, 06:30
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G'day Merlin


A double whammy.

No loose ends from your fine feathered friends.

The main attraction for me is the reading and the flow.

I admit the theme is a bit strange.

But that is what we are here for...to learn.

Good to find you still pottering around.

Regards,

Arnie.


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Arnfinn

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Merlin
post Jan 30 16, 23:48
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Hello Sylvia and John,
many thanks for looking into the henhouse and adding comments.

We share a few similarities here, Sylvia - apple trees and chickens with character. It was nice to have the hens around, but since I like to be able to get away when I wish, they did hold me back a little. One needs to feed and look after animals when you have them. Thoughts are not to get any for the next summer, but then, that was my intention last summer also. My neighbor lady has R I Reds, but back on the farm, growing up, breed wasn't too important either. We had all sorts and colors which I believe, makes for a brighter mix.

Good to see you here also, John. Yes, sonnets about chickens probably isn't the most common form. Likely ballad form would have been more appropriate, but I thought I'd do the interlocking thing.
At the moment I'm tackling a task that will take a fair bit of time. The region where I live has much history due to the minerals mined back 100+ years. There were rail lines (only grades remain, tracks are all pulled up), hotels complete with shootings (long since burned down), schools and a myriad of pioneer buildings. The graveyards have some of the oldtimers, and of those many names still remain. The research has taken up a good chunk of time; now sorting it out into its common subject matter takes time again. When all is done, what I wish to do is write the history in poetic fashion. In the back of my mind is Lee Masters Spoon River, but while it may reflect somewhat to that, it will be different. Consequently, I'm in the shadows here.

Thanks for stopping by, always appreciated.

Merlin


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Maureen
post Feb 18 16, 02:48
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Oh I like your gorgeous George - chooks are such fun little feather balls to have around and do so much good for your garden getting rid of all the grubs etc - but they can sometimes be a bit of work that kind of outweighs the joy of ownership when one can buy a doz eggs at the supermarket cheaply enough...albeit with pale yellow yolks an probably 3 weeks old and fed on who knows what.


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Merlin
post Feb 19 16, 22:25
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Hi Maureen,
Thanks for dropping by. You're completely correct regarding the eggs, cost and yolks. Too often the yolks are really pale although for some time now they seem to be a bit more appetizing-looking. I usually only use eggs for baking, seldom eat them as breakfast food.
Yes, the flock did keep their compound well in check regarding greens and bugs. I still have the run so will see what comes, but I do want to be away this summer.

Best,

Merlin


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Psyche
post Feb 29 16, 01:48
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Hi Merlin,
I just had to return to read your sonnets about chickens, plus all the amusing remarks in this thread.
Well, yes, on our farm we collected large eggs with orange yolks, due to the unmodified maize we had in those days. Even tho' sometimes the supermarkets now provide us with bright yolks, I wouldn't be surprised if additives were used to cheat us...somewhere along the ghastly, modern production lines. I've become a vegetarian, almost a vegan.

At home we used to have bets on whether some large eggs had double yolks! One could sometimes tell by the shape of the egg, not the size. I haven't seen a double-yolked egg for decades!

I also returned because you mentioned studying up on the mining history in your area, so as to express it in poetic form.

When all is done, what I wish to do is write the history in poetic fashion. In the back of my mind is Lee Masters Spoon River, but while it may reflect somewhat to that, it will be different. Consequently, I'm in the shadows here.

Two interesting issues here: The names have slipped my mind now, but there are whole books written in poetic fashion (and I'm not thinking of Greek mythology, the Illiad and Odyssey). Hope you've been working on this, best of luck and do share when completed!
Well, if it's going to be a book, just share some of the poems and entice us to buy your work, OK? Juggle.gif

2nd. topic: Edgar Lee Masters' Spoon River!! My late husband introduced me to that one...I simply love it. It's about all the characters that lay buried in the village cemetery, a shortish poem for each one of them! Fascinating.
If you could achieve that in sonnet form (or any form, even FV...) about the history of your area, it would be splendid. Surely some characters would also crop up, along with the facts. bart.gif

There tis...LOL.
Syl chicken.gif



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Mis temas favoritos



The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

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Psyche
post Jul 25 16, 01:57
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Hi Merlin, if your around here! JackBox.gif

Having time on my hands, I googled Gorgeous George and had a great read about him in Wikipedia.
Of course I'd no idea who he was, so discovering that he'd been a flamboyant, famous wrestler was indeed surprising.
It was an amusing read, sadly he died at 48, I seem to remember.

Cheers, and come over with some more sonnets!

Syl butterfly.gif


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Mis temas favoritos



The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
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