 Light, Lanturne #1 (Revision - thanks Lori!) 10/6) |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms  |
  Oct 2 07, 18:19
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#1
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 Assyrian  Posts: 181 Joined: 13-September 07 From: Conway, Arkansas Member No.: 468 Real Name: Pamela Writer of: Poetry Referred By:self  |
Light sheens love fills our souls unimpeded, life changes....lights/sheens - unobstructive/unimpeded Courtesy of Cleo_Serapis ·······  ·······A relaxed attitude, and a heart of gratitude, increases life whilst joy doth exude! <:))))><
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Oct 3 07, 18:17
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#2
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 Assyrian Posts: 271 Joined: 21-July 07 From: somewhere twixt 'n' tween Member No.: 456 Real Name: Sam Richmond Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:N/A |
Evening Pami;
I'm always so envious of writers who can say so much in such few words. 'Light' is quite brief (to fit the form) but it certainly has a full measure of thought, imagination and presence. I can't think of a thing I would change or suggest. Title and content work well and give a complete message. Well done ! sam ······· ······· Values are to integrity as spirit to spirituality ... the one is needed that the other is sustained ~ Sam
MM Award Winner    |
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Oct 3 07, 22:05
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#3
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Assyrian Posts: 181 Joined: 13-September 07 From: Conway, Arkansas Member No.: 468 Real Name: Pamela Writer of: Poetry Referred By:self |
Sam warm, kind most helpful skilled writer friend Many thanks my gracious friend.
 ······· ·······A relaxed attitude, and a heart of gratitude, increases life whilst joy doth exude! <:))))><
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Oct 6 07, 07:14
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#4
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Pami,
What a nice Lanturne, few words but full of meaning. I have two alternates for you to ponder in place of 'shines' and 'unobstructed': sheens & unimpeded Enjoyed! ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner          |
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Oct 6 07, 22:00
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#5
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Assyrian Posts: 181 Joined: 13-September 07 From: Conway, Arkansas Member No.: 468 Real Name: Pamela Writer of: Poetry Referred By:self |
Dear Lori,
Thank you! You are just plain brilliant. Done. Gave you the credit too. Hugs! Pami 
······· ·······A relaxed attitude, and a heart of gratitude, increases life whilst joy doth exude! <:))))><
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