 Revolution Complete, Atarlis Fileata (1st attempt/unrhymed) |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms  |
 Aug 6 07, 07:53
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 Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 376 Joined: 28-May 07 From: Co. Galway, Ireland Member No.: 440 Real Name: Terry O C Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Ephiny  |
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For us; sunrise of passion... First light washes warmth in silhouette; moments softly turn, 'forever' comes to pass. Sunset of passion For us... PS. I have not heard of this form before. But my attempts at any research(google  ) lead me to believe that 'Atarlis Fileata' may not be the correct spelling. Fileata does looks Gaelic but I'm not sure about 'atarlis'. I have already been to Karnac, but I'll keep looking. I may have something on hardcopy somewhere around the archive of disorganization that is my library but any assistance would be appreciated from my learned friends here, thank you. Just checked my dictionary and Fileata is Irish for 'poetry' but I still cannot find anything about 'atarlis'???. ·······  ·······Terry
light lights light --Raymond Rosliep "The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates." --Oscar Wilde MM Award Winner      |
  
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Aug 31 07, 20:09
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#2
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 Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,560 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Greetings, Terry!
Sorry I have overlooked this one for so long! My sight isn't the best, and my scanning is about as bad as anything can be... but I'm glad I discovered this piece. I'd forgotten about the form. It's Cathy B's own creation... when she was a moderator at the old Poetic Voices, now subsumed into PT... so you can consult her about your progress directly. I think you meant that you'd actually looked at Karnak, but here is the link anyhow: Atarlis Fileata You may note there that my first attempt at the form resulted in a non-rhymed piece as well, but of course that misses one of the three salient features of Cat's form, the one rhyme. The other two are the WORD-count 2-3-4-5-4-3-2, rather than typical SYLLABLE-count (which you accomplished) and repetition or slight recasting of the first and second lines as the second-to-last and last lines (which you also accomplished by pure repetition). I think your piece hangs together well just as is, leaving lots of room for interpretation with a number of immages stimulated. It doesn't need to be this particular form to work... and creating one is maybe a bit harder than at first it may seem. Good job... and great attempt at the form too. I hope Cat chimes in. deLighting in sharing... though a bit late, Daniel 
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner     |
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Sep 1 07, 05:12
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#3
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 376 Joined: 28-May 07 From: Co. Galway, Ireland Member No.: 440 Real Name: Terry O C Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Ephiny |
Hi Daniel,
No Way!! ....And no wonder I couldnt find anything about it elsewhere. I did read that post in Karnac but I didnt notice anything about Cathy being the inventor. I know now so thank you. Thanks for popping in and commenting. LOL, Tarry Terry. Tally-Ho!!! Best Wishes . ······· ·······Terry
light lights light --Raymond Rosliep "The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates." --Oscar Wilde MM Award Winner |
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Sep 2 07, 19:52
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#4
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,560 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
I'm glad that you tarried, Terry! Amazing what one can learn here, huh?
deLighting in the process, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Sep 23 07, 16:58
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#5
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Terry,
 Sorry I'm so late to this one! You've reminded me to try this form sometime!  I think Cathy created it? I enjoyed the repetition of the first and last words and also the change from sunrise to sunset - we can keep 'forever' in our hearts.  No nits here - enjoyed! ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner     |
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Sep 24 07, 08:34
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#6
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 376 Joined: 28-May 07 From: Co. Galway, Ireland Member No.: 440 Real Name: Terry O C Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Ephiny |
Thanks Cleo,
Your a sound oul skin. Do give it a go, I'll rhymne my next one if you will...  Ahh, those 'forever's come and go sometimes, lol. Best WIshes . ······· ·······Terry
light lights light --Raymond Rosliep "The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates." --Oscar Wilde MM Award Winner |
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 Oct 4 07, 18:07
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 Assyrian Posts: 181 Joined: 13-September 07 From: Conway, Arkansas Member No.: 468 Real Name: Pamela Writer of: Poetry Referred By:self |
QUOTE (Terocon101 @ Aug 6 07, 07:53 )  For us; sunrise of passion... First light washes warmth in silhouette; moments softly turn, 'forever' comes to pass. Sunset of passion For us... Oh Terry...this is so very lovely...I will have to check out the form and see if I have the patience to try it...your emotive imagery and energy are superb! I just loved this one!!! (((Hugs!))) Pami:fairy: ······· ·······A relaxed attitude, and a heart of gratitude, increases life whilst joy doth exude! <:))))><
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Oct 12 07, 18:44
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#8
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 376 Joined: 28-May 07 From: Co. Galway, Ireland Member No.: 440 Real Name: Terry O C Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Ephiny |
Hey!!!
 Wow, what a great response, thanks Pami !!! If /when you try this form, do check in Karnac for the rhyming scheme which I (purposely) overlooked. I look forward to yours... Have a good one!!!!! . ······· ·······Terry
light lights light --Raymond Rosliep "The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates." --Oscar Wilde MM Award Winner |
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