 The Word |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
 Jul 19 08, 04:23
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#1
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 Greek  Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in  |
The Word
You’d only made a simple mis-speak Spurring your self-conscious laugh. You’d used the wrong word with emphasis- On the surface no serious gaffe. But your heart controlled more than words. It was controlling your expressions too, So in regret you grimaced contritely Without realizing I clearly saw you. Now I'd learned your heart's deepest secret Though I pretended I didn't know. I let you think you still fooled me. Was it because I love you so? Peggy Carpenter Harwood ·······  ······· |
  
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| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Jul 20 08, 10:05
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#2
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Peggy... how broken can a heart get when someone mis-speaks the wrong words...I liked the way you put this together.
Steve |
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Jul 20 08, 10:20
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#3
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Greek Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in |
Hi Steve,
Thanks so much for reading and replying!! I'm glad you like it!! Peggy ······· ······· |
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Jul 21 08, 11:14
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#4
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 8,853 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Hi Peggy!
I like your poem about mispoken words and contrite expressions that tell all! Very poignant. And how true about 'not saying anything because you love him/her so'....perhaps there had even been unfaithfulness, but love is blind to all....LOL... I would tighten up some lines a bit, so if you want me to come back, I'll make one or two suggestions. Congrats, Syl *** ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner              |
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Jul 22 08, 14:29
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#5
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Greek Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in |
Hi Syl,
Thanks so much for reading!! I'd like to hear your suggestions too! Peggy ······· ······· |
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Jul 22 08, 15:03
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#6
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
Hello Peggy~
Your poem may be called The Word but, your poem 'speaks' many (words) between the lines. As in many a true word spoken in jest... I find it rich in the many unspoken words...the listener hearing the truth by accident, the guilty trying to cover-up... There is a tone of love, in it, a tone of forgiveness, a tone of sadness. But, all in all a tone of success. I cant see anything I would change. Perhaps I will be back. An excellent read. Thank you for sharing it. Bev ······· ······· |
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Jul 22 08, 15:35
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#7
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Greek Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in |
Hi Bev,
Thanks for reading and replying!! I'm so glad it's clear and you like it!! Peggy ······· ······· |
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Jul 22 08, 23:10
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#8
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 Ornate Oracle Posts: 2,085 Joined: 24-May 04 From: Time, Immoral Member No.: 66 Writer of: Poetry |
Hello Peggy,
Have you considered present tense? Merlin ······· ······· |
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Jul 22 08, 23:19
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#9
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Greek Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in |
Hi Merlin,
I considered it, but really don't like the idea. Peggy ······· ······· |
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Jul 24 08, 06:45
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#10
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,802 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Connecticut Member No.: 58 Real Name: Ron Jones Writer of: Poetry |
Dear Peggy,
In that our styles and subject matter differ, I'm not likely to be of much help. Were I to modify "The Word", I'd work only on the scansion, leaving the message alone. Since it's the message here that sets the piece apart, it tugs at the emotions as you intended. Now here's a thought; you have just unmasked his deceit- can you write his response? Cheers, Ron jgd ······· ······· |
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Jul 25 08, 12:15
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#11
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Greek Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in |
Hi Ron,
I always enjoy talking to you about poetry and like for you to read mine. I also enjoy reading your verses. T Thanks for reading this one! It's an older poem, but I decided I wanted to see what others thought about it. While your the master of scansion, I'm a bit more focused on rhyme and message and less adept at perfecting the rhythm. I do ever so much appreciate your imput and interest!  Peggy ······· ······· |
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