Wasp Hugging *** Options

[mt2polar]

Wasp Hugging


There are tendencies towards adventure, courage, ingenuity, and a bit of negligence.
Sometimes they come too early and this is how it was for me.

As a toddler, I never suffered the doldrums of inactivity and I had a backstop, a mom savior looking over me. Mushrooms (poisonous or not) are a tasty food but it took a trip to the hospital to confirm that. Gas stove tops can be used for heat when the family is sleeping and your jacket isn’t warm enough. I liked that jacket but mom was intent on stomping it out. 5am sneaking out of the house on a busy street is really no problem until you get stuck inside the Kennedy’s storm door banging until their morning coffee lets it out. Mom of course was there to help me and that is kind of how things went. We lived on Manatuck Blvd, which is Algonquian for lookout, like on a hill. Unfortunately, my pets never understood streets or lookouts!, exclaimed even from me. They didn’t last long enough for me to tail catch them and pull them back from smithereens. Once I got so close to saving Mr. Kitty, I heard mom, a clarion call, like mom angels, which stopped me quick, a nose inside of the vehicle’s breeze. Well, that was it for us. Mom and Dad found a house a mile north, with hedgerow fencing, and gardens, and grass, and ants. Oh and wasps, but we stayed separate, or stung and mashed. That was kind of agreed.

Time went by in this subdued state until my world once again got smaller. There was school, and friends, and stores, and things. Some are cool and fun, but stores just stink. For a 6 year old in a clothing department walking endlessly in isles and bins, it is psychosis, like being my cat mickey mouser in a pen. I remember Sears right down to the cashier’s line where she was waiting. I could throw a hanger at the exit and almost make it. I think I did. Mom spoke up to calm me down and change my position, she said “you can wait over there, I’m almost done”. Of course, in my cat state I heard, “you can wait outside, till I’m done”. So I walked a little in the direction she pointed and walked some more towards the door right ahead. The door opened up without any attention and I began the task of finding a bearing. Our car was parked close by but where was it? Looking around I realized the lot was like endless. I went back to the door and looked inside but my mother was not on the line. Most kids would cry, look for help, or sit and wait on it. None of that made any sense as thoughts were driving away with a mom who might have already left. Besides, I had the whole route right in my head. First came the parking lot, which wore on my conscience the most. If she didn’t leave yet, this could be one of those energetic 8 roll cap sledge bounce right back into my head kinda hurt again. I laughed! Next came an easy Sunrise Highway south service road. I walked on the parking lot side shoulder past some stores and blocks and stayed under tree cover. The underpass was right there but walking under seemed too scary easy. Another couple of blocks went by, Peters, Potter, Pine Acres, all of their names were the same on our north side of the highways, and then Manatuck popped up. At this point, the highway was at grade and if I was going to be hit by a car I wanted to see it coming. The underpass was done.

I remember the guardrail, the 4’ chain link fence and then time seemed to slow down. As I was bounding off the fence, a car went by and the woman passenger locked eyes with me. I held her attention just long enough to get her mind dizzy. A quick look left, nothing was coming, then I bolted to the median and saw her taillights go red. Shit! (that is what my mom almost never ever said). Now my legs blasted me over the median guardrail in one leap looking right at nothing but pavement. 50’ to the fence flip and a hop over the north service road box beam got me to the shoulder. I looked back and the car was still stopped in the middle of the highway. Thank god this was 1976, you can forget about outrunning good Samaritan’s and their cell phones today.
Olly olly oxen free! The north service road crossing and King Kullen had no idea why I was screaming. suddenly, there was a much bigger concern for me as I continued down the mile stretch of Manatuck in my 6yr gait. I forgot the whole reason I was fidgeting in the store. I was like 20 minutes from making it home and the thought of peeing on somebody’s front lawn somehow would be Poseidon’s wizz on this awesome trip. I didn’t. Another solution presented itself in my favorite old neighbor, Mrs Kennedy. I could make it to her house in relief, stock up on some milk and cookies, then be on my way, getting stuck in the door was a while ago. She opened her door and was quite happy to see me until she realized my family wasn’t there. I remember her with that Irish brogue telling her daughter to quickly drive us to my new house. At that point, everyone starting asking me questions. “she left me at the store”, “I walked”, “I think my dad is home”. They were very sweet and loving about it all the way home. I think my dad was more surprised and angry than anything else. I asked him where mom was. I was shocked she wasn’t home already. That seemed to really get him going. He didn’t believe anything I said except for the part on how I got home. He thanked the Kennedys and rushed me into the car to go back to the mall. I think I told him that I should stay home but that got him going even more. The trip back was a blur. I remember nothing of it, nothing my father said, nothing I was thinking, nothing of the road, only pulling into the parking lot seeing a police car with its lights on with my mother inside.

There, in those last moments, rolling up close to my mother, seeing terror and loss dripping down in her skin, a black cold was building in my head. It wasn’t guilt, no, or remorse as I knew. There was relief and comfort, but mostly this thinking: The wash of any punishments, beltings, yelling, sleeping on sticks, motionless dark corners, disownment, and any pains imagined on pains within,

whatever conceived I would do
bare, in my self wishing waste,
anything!, anything compared to this.

she is my mother
and she hugged and hugged and hugged
until it couldn’t end
but not so much for her

she held to me my innocence

[Psyche]

Wow, mt2! This needs several readings, I like the flow of the prose poetry and the final stanzas... Quite intriguing.
I know a type of Chinese style poetry, but the lines in verse usually go in the middle, not at the end. But I don't know enough about that style to make any crits.
I'll have to go to the forum for different types of poetic expression, then maybe come back. I believe it's in Karnak's Crossing, just below the work-shopping forums.
As to the content, right now it seems that the child in question has some kind of mental disorder, needing proper caring and love from family and friends. The disorder affects the relationship between child and parents, as is usually the case.
But it does not necessarily make the child less intelligent, quite the contrary, IMO.

I'll return to have another read,
best, Syl

[mt2polar]

"right now it seems that the child in question has some kind of mental disorder, needing proper caring and love from family and friends. The disorder affects the relationship between child and parents, as is usually the case."


Jesus! I wish you knew me 40yrs ago. LOL. I was thinking I was writing about a 6 yr old's Odyssey but it turns out, he was writing about me.


The prose / poetry thing is something that just comes out. Sometimes I start with the poetry and the story follows. Here the story came first.


Thank you for reading.

[Eisa]

Hi Michael,

Sorry I haven't been here sooner. This is amazing work!

Like Sylvia, I think I'll have to return after I've read this again, but I love what you've done here and ended with a poem.

I'll be back!
Eira