 Why It Hurts To Love You |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Poetry Exhibition -> Plato's Pearls of Wisdom  |
 Jun 10 05, 18:57
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#1
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 Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 1,547 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia Member No.: 13 Real Name: Daniah Writer of: Poetry  |
In your presence
my heart revolves; an excited twirl around your smile, your voice, and I bask in the smoldering heat that ebbs and flows in soporific tides of completion. Elated, I glow. Levitating in the aftermath of our every connection. In your abscence darkness falls. Its ebony fingers laced with silence drown me in spiralling emptiness. All joy dwindles, as I lie paralyzed, cold, barren in its wake. Tormented, I fall, engulfed by a painful gorge of doubt and confusion. ·······  ·······Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
"A good book is not read and forgotten. It lingers in the mind of the reader, reshaping thoughts, asking new questions, revisiting ancient ones." MM Award Winner     |
  
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Jun 10 05, 19:22
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#2
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Dani.
 Wow! This is quite powerful! The opening: "soporific tides of completion" sings! :sings: :sings: I can sense the magic there...the elation as you say. Then it changes so.... that sadness - the emptiness when the realization hits when your loved one is ot with you. :( Very well stated piece Dani - I can feel the depths of emotion in this one.... HUGS Cleo :pharoah: ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner       |
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Jun 10 05, 19:46
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#3
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 1,547 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia Member No.: 13 Real Name: Daniah Writer of: Poetry |
Hey Lori,
Thanks for the praise... It's one of my favorites, maybe because it reveals the contrast of having and then losing love. Hugs Dani PS: Sorry for that silly blunder... ······· ·······Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
"A good book is not read and forgotten. It lingers in the mind of the reader, reshaping thoughts, asking new questions, revisiting ancient ones." MM Award Winner |
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Jun 10 05, 19:51
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#4
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Dani! :wave:
I think it's because it comes off as a 'gritty, from the heart' piece and as you already know - I am most fond of those kind of works... :lovie: It is an eye-opener - to go from levitaion in delight to paralitic spirals - what a dramatic contrast - makes this piece scream for attention! No worries silly - I'm most happy to see Plato getting some attention!  Lori ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Jun 10 05, 19:57
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#5
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 1,547 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia Member No.: 13 Real Name: Daniah Writer of: Poetry |
Well That's what makes you an awesome site empress...
I too am glad that Plato is in action. LOL! Yes it is an eye-opener. Hugs Dani ······· ·······Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
"A good book is not read and forgotten. It lingers in the mind of the reader, reshaping thoughts, asking new questions, revisiting ancient ones." MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Nina_* |
Jun 11 05, 00:20
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#6
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Hi Dani
You describe so powerfully the dramatic contrast of emotions - the soaring high when your lover is with you and the plunging low when you are alone and missing him. I enjoyed reading this Thanks Nina |
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| Guest_Toumai_* |
Jun 11 05, 08:02
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#7
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Dear Dani,
A wonderful contrast of the highs and lows of love - passionately expressed as always. Hugs, Fran |
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Jun 12 05, 02:39
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#8
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 1,547 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia Member No.: 13 Real Name: Daniah Writer of: Poetry |
Dear Nina,
Your praise got to my head. I'm so glad that describing the contrasts was so effective. :) Glad you enjoyed this. HUgs dani ······· ·······Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
"A good book is not read and forgotten. It lingers in the mind of the reader, reshaping thoughts, asking new questions, revisiting ancient ones." MM Award Winner |
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Jun 12 05, 02:41
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#9
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 1,547 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia Member No.: 13 Real Name: Daniah Writer of: Poetry |
Dear Fran,
It's great seeing your reaction to this! I'm glad you enjoyed the passion here. Hugs Dani ······· ·······Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
"A good book is not read and forgotten. It lingers in the mind of the reader, reshaping thoughts, asking new questions, revisiting ancient ones." MM Award Winner |
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