Divine Malformation, an oldie Options

[Siren]

Come, carry me into the light,
allow my heart to feel
compassion's unfamiliar touch
and love's abandoned caresses.

Come, heal wounds inflicted
within this vile deformed sculpture;
an overlapping cut lip,
crooked teeth, frog eyes,
and huddled form--
my ugliness.

This bullied inner child still roams
the murky waters of a grown man
and the melody of my sorrow
croaks in deafening raging waves.

Come, look past this broken image
drawn by God's deft brush--
testing mankind.
Learn to be merciful in His light.
Come, hear a nightingale's song
when I speak. Do not cringe away.

I beseech to you.
Peer through the glass frame.

With a tender heart,
and longed for touch
you can dissolve the resident beast
mirrored by my contorted form.

For, like you,
I am but God's creation.

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Dani,

So true.
Learn to look beyond the surface and bring out the best in all of us.
But your poem itself is truely beautiful.
Is this posted in response to James's Frankenstein/Prometheus poem?
Thanks for sharing it.

Fran

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Dani,

Thanks very much for posting this - I shall be back later to crit.

Fran - thanks. Yes, Dani did post this in response to my poem - though hers considerably pre-dates mine in the writing, I believe.

Hopefully good to read them together?

J.

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Psst, James, this isn't a crit forum  :pharoah2

And thanks, Dani - spotted the link now in James's poem ...  :turtle:

Fran

[Siren]

Fran,

I'm glad you liked this and I see James answered your question. :)


James,

I would love to know your thoughts on this and I accept any crit you have to offer. :)

I'd be honored to see them posted together and read together. :)

Hugs to you both
Dani

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Dear Dani,

Would you like to re-post this in the crit forum, then? (I could offer to move it - but risky, knowing my skills with the edit buttons  Shock )

Hugs

Fran

[Guest_Jox_*]

Oops!

Thanks Fran - hadn't seen this wasn't in a crit forum - had returned to crit.

I shall see what happens.

All the best, J.

[JustDaniel]

Greetings, Dani...

I'd lost this piece, so I'm very pleased to read it again.  I so seldom come to this particular forum, so it was almost by chance that I happened in... but of course we both know that there really is no such thing.

You also know how much I love this piece... 'cause in so many ways it's me [ I know, grammatically speaking I should say, "It's I" but no one would know what I'd be talking about! ]

... and if you would like my further comments on this, you know where you can post it, Ghalia!

deLighted to read this again, Daniel  :sun:

[Siren]

Fran and James,

I will repost this in the crit forum after the required time has past.. :) (already have another poem posted there)

I'll await both your crits. :)

Daniel,

Yes I remember we discussed this one once. I'm so glad you're willing to take this on... I'll look forward for ur suggestions then..


Dani

[Aggiel]

Dani,

This is so beautiful and though sad it is inspirational as well.

Great read



Aggiel

[Siren]

Thank U Aggie, I'm honored by your words... Hope to catch you around

Hugs
Dani :)

[Guest_Zeus˛_*]

Hi Dani,

Now like back then, you still write with passion and warmth.
Like this.

Larry

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Daniah.

This is the type of 'voice' I am honored to read.  :grinning:

I 'see' the internal message, a longing for acceptance - the addage that tells us to never judge a book by its cover...

This reminds me of a fable, Dani style.

By all means Dani, if you'd like critiques, please post this in Seren's (of course right HERE at MM) ???

Touched by your words,
Lori  :pharoah:

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Dani

This is a beautiful  and puts across so well the message that we should look beyond the surface and take the time to see a person's inner beauty.

As I read it I see in my mind the story of Beauty and the Beast.


Nina

[Siren]

Dear Larry,

We go way back and you know me well by now. I'm glad you still see the soul in every piece. :)


Lori,

I am so honored to see you here. I do think that judging a book by its cover is a major crime for the human mind. I will post this in a crit forum soon. :)


Hugs
Dani

[ArtesiaMeeks]

WOW!!!

What a nice piece of work.....beautiful  with a message that we all know but many times don't heed.  We need to look underneath the cover of the book......and see the shinnin hear and soul.  Thanks for a nice reminder.....ArtesiaMeeks

[Siren]

Carol,

Thank you for your visit and sweet words. :)

Dani