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Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 20 14, 05:11


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From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Good morning Daniel - Do I detect a hint of split personality in your response to this Frost, last words challenge?
There was a touch of Lewis Carroll's, 'You are Old Father William' -"And yet you incessantly stand on your head";
and a suggestion Dorothy's Scarecrow with no Brain in the Wizard of Oz. (All that leaking sawdust)
At least the deep depression suffered by this poor creature didn't hinder his ability to produce a nifty set of rhymes.
Hugs, Leo
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #134306 · Replies: 4 · Views: 2,416

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 19 14, 07:03


Greek
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Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Greetings Daniel. I very much appreciated a fresh eye on my Daffodils challenge attempt, and have utilised your suggestions to re-post the verse.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.

Hugs,
Leo
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #134300 · Replies: 4 · Views: 3,468

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 13 14, 07:29


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Daniel - I'm so, so sorry! My eyesight is not what it was, and having looked again, I was appalled to realize that what you are holding is a swaddled babe, and not a rather woolly mut.
I humbly beg your pardon for my mistake, which I attribute to advancing age and general idiocy!

Sorry again,
Leo shocked.gif
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #134184 · Replies: 6 · Views: 3,116

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 12 14, 10:53


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Hi Daniel - Tacoma and Mount Rainier sound the ideal place to relax - no wonder your mind drifts so easily back. Don't lay about on that dewy grass too long!
I really enjoy the poetic challenges - Mostly because I have no friendly inspiration popping in to force me to take up a blank page and write.
I am so full of admiration for those of my fellow MM members, (such as yourself) who seem to be able to conjure up a sonnet at a moment's notice.
At least the challenges give me something on which to focus.
Hugs,
Leo.

p.s. Your picture is not altogether clear - but you seem to be holding a pooch of some kind.
I am a dog fanatic, and have tried to magnify it out of sheer curiosity. I'd like to know what brand of dog you have please.
By their dog shall you know them.
L.
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #134182 · Replies: 6 · Views: 3,116

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 11 14, 11:43


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


The UK has just had the wettest and storm laden winter since records began - thousands of our homes, business and farms have been, and still are devastated, many of them for the second time.

We are all waiting anxiously for Spring to arrive; and now it seems that it just might be coming.





Hydroponic Daffodils



Throughout the mournful months of cloud

bleak rains have drenched our sodden hills;

and yet, this Spring, we'll damply crowd

to worship half drowned daffodils.

They've dragged away the fallen trees

now gales have dwindled to a breeze.



By day, the flooded fields take shine

where swollen rivers had their way.

Whilst sodden sand-bags lurch in line,

to keep engulfing tides at bay.

No longer worth a second glance,

there's nowhere for our lambs to dance.



Each night, on television, they

show devastated homes - with glee.

They're somehow much too bright and gay,

to keep the victims company.

It seems they hardly spare a thought

for ruined lives such rain has brought.



Immersed, our soggy pastures lie.

No grass where once, in playful mood,

lambs frolicked to refresh our eye -

all lost. Submerged in solitude.

We wait 'til 'Some-Time's' sun fulfils

the promise of new daffodils.


First revision - thanks to Daniel for advice.






Throughout the mournful months of cloud
bleak rains have drenched our sodden hills;
and yet, this Spring, we'll damply crowd
to worship half drowned daffodils.
They've dragged away the fallen trees
now gales have dwindled to a breeze.

By day, the flooded fields take shine
where swollen rivers had their way.
Whilst steadfast sand-bags lurch in
to keep engulfing tides at bay.
No longer worth a second glance,
there's nowhere for young lambs to dance.

Each night, on television, they
show devastated homes - with glee.
They're somehow much too bright and gay,
to keep the victims company.
It seems they hardly spare a thought
for ruined lives such rain has brought.

Immersed, our soggy pastures lie.
No grass where once, in playful mood,
calves capered to refresh our eye,
all lost! Submerged in solitude
we'll wait, 'til 'some-time's' sun fulfils
the promise of new daffodils.
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #134146 · Replies: 4 · Views: 3,468

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 11 14, 05:00


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


That's the problem Larry; I can't come up with something for the challenge that is even slightly beautiful;and when I saw how well you had done, I despaired
.

Re your John Ruskin quote: "Nothing is ever done beautifully which is done in rival-ship; or nobly, which is done in pride."
Sadly, (and of course it's no fault of his own), he was not able to watch this year's winter Olympics.
The young snowboarders, for example, were breathtaking - and all in the Olympic spirit of friendly and respectful competition.
Hugs,
Leo
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #134136 · Replies: 8 · Views: 3,853

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 8 14, 04:11


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Very nicely done Larry!
I, too, have been struggling with the same challenge; only for me it is the months and months of floods still devastating homes, farms and cities right across UK.
I've just read your response to this challenge, and Shelly's great line :
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!" sprang to mind.
I'll keep chipping away at my attempt - but it'll be no match for yours.
Hugs,
Leo
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #134099 · Replies: 8 · Views: 3,853

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 7 14, 13:53


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Lovely, lovely Eisa.
My mother's heart responded to that inn spades. My 'boys' are forty and forty eight now,
and they still carry a rather crumbly, 'slice of me' in their pockets.
Hugs, Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134097 · Replies: 11 · Views: 6,171

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 7 14, 13:47


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Alan, nothing would give me greater pleasure!
Any time you find yourself in the Oxford area there'll be a warm welcome.

Regards,
Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134096 · Replies: 18 · Views: 10,282

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 28 14, 10:32


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Sergio - thank you for reading Dementia Man - I very much admired the honesty and directness of your poem about child rape - not an easy subject, but negotiated with directness and compassion.
Thanks,
Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134049 · Replies: 18 · Views: 10,282

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 28 14, 10:16


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
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Hello Snow - liked your suggestion - I'll try to incorporate your ideas with Syl's and re-post.
Thanks for the welcome!
Hugs,
Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134048 · Replies: 18 · Views: 10,282

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 28 14, 10:10


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
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Hello again Syl - Thank you for your suggestions; I'll try to edit the poem to encompass the changes you have suggested. I may loose the whole thing, but it's worth a try. I seem to have forgotten most of what I knew about manoeuvring around the site.
Thank you again,
Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134047 · Replies: 18 · Views: 10,282

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 26 14, 08:48


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Sergio - you surely know how to get under the skin of your reader! The optimism and fragility of a beautiful small boy, brutally wiped out to satisfy the casual urges of a self obsessed man.
The image of that child's ravaged body will go with me today, to keep company with all the other images that make me despair of the human race.

A small query - I was slightly disorientated by your mention of, 'his dresser'.
'death sprawls
on his dresser
like a headless chicken
'
I had been transported outside, looking in horror at the Spanish style bridge - and what lay beneath. But, for a Brit like me, a dresser is an indoor piece of furniture. I know how different cultures can add confusion, so wondered where I might have lost my way.

A tremendously strong poem -

Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134023 · Replies: 7 · Views: 7,584

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 23 14, 14:28


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Dear Syl, - I came late to this feast of a poem - Others have already said how outstanding it is, but I would like to testify to its emotional truth and strength - they shine through. We, both of us, perceive, and then seek to love 'our princes' under the evil spell cast by this disease.
Thank you for this expression of ongoing love.
Hugs,
Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134007 · Replies: 23 · Views: 25,819

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 20 14, 14:00


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Good to read you again Alan!
Couldn't agree more. A healthy dose of common sense will do more than almost anything else to preserve a relationship. Mark you, a sense of humour would be top of my list.
Tiny point:
Attend ! You lovers of endless love, attend,
if you desire exalted harmonies endure:


Should there be a comma after harmonies? That's how I read it, but maybe I misunderstood.
It could be read in two ways.

Hugs, Leo
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #134002 · Replies: 12 · Views: 4,357

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 20 14, 13:36


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Hi Maureen, and thanks for your comments on Dementia Man.
It was intended to show that love can, and does, survive even in what the parable calls, 'stony ground'.
It's hard, watching someone you love suffer - but, every now and then, something lightens the mood, and we have a good laugh. You and I have to learn to cherish those, 'special' moments.
Thanks again,
Hugs,
Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134001 · Replies: 18 · Views: 10,282

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 20 14, 13:14


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Hello again Syl, I do remember you well from some time ago.
Many thanks for looking in at Dementia Man. I normally try to keep my verses fairly light-hearted, but needed to get this one down before I could start again with something less, 'me' centered.
We seem to have a lot in common - our husbands' illnesses, moving home and a capable daughter! Our daughter actually chose our home for us, because I couldn't house-hunt from France.

As for being part of the militant grammar police -probably not! We didn't, 'do' grammar at my school, so I am very conscious of my own failings.

I hope Carlos continues to make more and more improvements - Michael also seems much improved after our move to UK.
Now, at last, that he can speak to others in his own language. Not surprisingly, his French disappeared as his Dementia progressed.

Hugs,
Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134000 · Replies: 18 · Views: 10,282

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 20 14, 12:25


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Hello Maggie, and thank you reading Dementia Man.
I've tried for ages to put something/anything into some kind of verse - I have stared hopefully at the page, but nothing ever appeared.
It feels good to return to MM - I have so missed the relaxed friendship and occasional, 'differences of opinion'.
Unfortunately, I seem to have forgotten everything I ever learned, (from the experts here) about the many poetic forms - I'll have to start over.
Thank you for enjoying England. It does have much to recommend it so, if you ever find yourself in the Oxford region, there's usually a spare bed available here.
Hugs,
Leo
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #133999 · Replies: 18 · Views: 10,282

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 19 14, 12:15


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Dear Dementia Man



At least, unlike others,

you still know me.

How could you not

when we lay each night, curled, entwined.

Your hand, unfurled, yearning for mine

in the darkness'

Sleeping; the essence of the man I love

exists;


and I wonder if you know that

I kiss you. Whilst you dream of –

I know not what.
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #133989 · Replies: 18 · Views: 10,282

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 18 14, 08:39


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Nothing boring there! I haven't the knowledge to crit poems with any degree of accuracy - but still look for something I can recognize from my own experience - if I feel that jolt of recognition, the poet has my attention.
Some of us enjoy freedom within a framework - others like to unlace the corset and float free.
But as long as the poet produces something to link themselves to the mind of another -
they're never boring.

Leo (Sekhmet)
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #133984 · Replies: 2 · Views: 2,067

Sekhmet
Posted on: Feb 18 14, 08:24


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Hello Eisa - I was delighted to see your use of that good old English word, (bussed) for a warm and loving kiss.
A kiss can be all sorts of things. The shallow,' duty' kiss; a greeting for an old friend; something that shatters the soul - or a healthy expression of good will and love - that, for me, is a buss - and exactly conjures up the kiss of the sun.
Leo (Sekhmet)
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #133983 · Replies: 20 · Views: 15,945

Sekhmet
Posted on: Jul 5 12, 07:00


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Hi Whizzy - Loved it! A big grin on a miz. day.
Your friend on de sofa over dere,
might possibly prefer eggs fer is, 'brekfurst'?
But who knows?
Hugs,
Leo
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #128674 · Replies: 6 · Views: 2,960

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 25 12, 03:28


Greek
***

Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Congratulations Larry! A home truth that needed telling!
This small gem of a poem underlined the fact that there is no, 'Holiday' from want for vast tracks of the world.
Your poem said so much about the reality of the poverty, starvation and death we allow to continue, whilst we all try to out-do each other by spending gross amounts on trashy presents for our nearest and dearest.
A well deserved award.
Leo.

  Forum: ARCHIVES -> MMHC (Holiday Classic) -> Hal... · Post Preview: #126970 · Replies: 6 · Views: 18,343

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 23 12, 10:47


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Hello again Jerry. French billing and cooing? Possibly Bisou-ing and Cooing?
It seems, (I Googled it) that the Sonorian Desert is a wonderful place to live - an amazing
climate, and spectacular scenery.
Thank you for your charming, 'Three Turtle Doves.' I feel rather like the lass in the the Christmas carol.
who must have been delighted with her various gifts, including, 'Three French Hens'.
It is good to know that the Sonorian bird life is being nurtured; I hope not too many nestlings need special attention this season.
Hope the day is kind to you.
Leo
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #126961 · Replies: 9 · Views: 3,262

Sekhmet
Posted on: Mar 18 12, 04:10


Greek
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754


Merlin! It's you! How pleased I am to see you back here. I've been absent from the site for some time.
Thanks for checking out this verse - the first thing I have written for months.
The birds I watched were, in fact, French doves; and as I mentioned to Jerry, they both had strong French accents - and being French, they made
a great deal of fuss about l'amour.
I wish you joy in your orchard - may the harvest be bountiful.
Hugs,
Leo

  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #126917 · Replies: 9 · Views: 3,262

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