I Want It Back, Just a bit of humor. Options

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

I wrote this some time ago but was reminded of it when I looked into the mirror this morning.

REVISED 03-13-06
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

OK! Who took it?
This is no longer funny.
You’ve had your laugh at my expense,
now listen up, Honey.

I want it back!

You know that lovely mirror
I looked in long ago,
the one that showed me young of face
and more so from below?

My figure was not all that fine,
but seeing it today,
I hope that you will understand
what I’m about to say.

My eyes once sparkled, emerald green,
But now they’re grayish-blue.
So if you borrowed them awhile,
I hope that you are through,

I know that I misplaced them,
those fingers that were thin.
These chubby stumps upon my hand
do not cause me to grin.

I use to dance until the dawn,
my vigor in high gear.
I hate this creaking up the stairs
with baggage in the rear.

I had a head of golden locks,
as soft as rain-kissed days.
This coarsened mop upon my crown
is filled with strands of gray.

With voice quite sweet I use to sing
so perfect it brought tears.
But now this graveled, screeching thing
makes children run in fear.

My teeth were strong, my bite divine,
what foods I could consume.
These choppers you have left me with
must come from someone’s tomb.

Once skin so soft, unto the touch
gave pleasure to a man.
but now this red and wrinkled mess
is worse than desert sand.

You may admire Buddha’s face,
his form I do portray,
but find the belly I once had,
the one from yesterday.

You said when I turned forty,
I’d have a better life.
This was a lie you tricked me with
to steal away my light.

Once my breasts were fine and firm
as perky as can be
These sagging boobs just slow me down
as you can plainly see.

I miss the looks from lustful eyes,
to take this was a crime.
Tis most unfair to steal my youth
when I am in my prime.

I use to run and sing and dance
expressing every joy.
But you have striped this from my life
to just make me your toy.

They say I should age gracefully,
I do not think this fine
I miss the shell of youthful form,
so please turn back the time.

Who made up all these silly rules,
for aging to be done?
I think they should rewrite them soon,
before I use a gun.

Never did I sign my name
upon the dotted line,
to give away my body parts
or sharpness of my mind.

To this I warn you one last time,
before I go to bed,
return it all before the dawn
or I’ll be seeing red.

I want it back!



Original Poem
~*~*~*~*~*~

OK! Who took it?
This is no longer funny.
You’ve had your laugh at my expense,
now listen up, Honey.

I want it back!

You know that lovely mirror
I looked in long ago,
the one that held me young in face
and more so from below?

My figure was not all that fine,
but seeing it today,
I hope that you will understand
what I’m about to say.

My eyes once sparkled, emerald green,
this pair is grayish-blue.
So if you borrowed them awhile,
I hope that you are through,

I know that I misplaced them,
those fingers that were thin.
These chubby stumps upon my hand
do not cause me to grin.

I use to dance until the dawn,
my vigor in high gear.
I hate this creaking up the stairs
with baggage in the rear.

I had a head of golden locks,
as soft as rain kissed days.
This coarsened mop upon my crown
is filled with strands of gray.

With voice quite sweet I use to sing
so perfect it brought tears.
But now this graveled, screeching thing
makes children run in fear.

My teeth were strong, my bite divine,
what foods I could consume.
These choppers you have left me with
must come from someone’s tomb.

Once skin so soft, unto the touch
gave pleasure to a man.
This scaled red mess you left me with
is worse than desert sand.

You may admire Buddha’s face,
his form I do portray,
but find the belly I once had,
the one from yesterday.

You said when I turned forty,
I’d have a better life.
This was a lie you tricked me with
to steal away my light.

Once my breasts were fine and firm
as perky as can be
These sagging boobs just slow me down
as you can plainly see.

I miss the looks from lustful eyes,
to take this was a crime.
Tis most unfair to steal my youth
when I am in my prime.

I use to run and sing and dance
expressing every joy.
But you have striped this from my life
and just made me your toy.

They say I should age gracefully,
I do not think this fine
I miss the shell of youthful form,
so please turn back the time.

Who made up all these silly rules,
for aging to be done?
I think they should rewrite them soon,
before I use a gun.

Never did I sign my name
upon the dotted line,
to give away my body parts
or sharpness of my mind.

To this I warn you one last time,
before I go to bed,
return it all before the dawn
or I’ll be seeing red.

I want it back!
.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Rose

Before I start commenting, I should warn you that I'm not very good with rhyme and meter so apologies if any suggestions upset that.

[add] {delete} comment  as always your choice to take or leave as you wish.

OK! Who took it?
This is no longer funny.
You’ve had your laugh at my expense,
now listen up, Honey.

I want it back!

You know that lovely mirror
I looked in long ago,
the one that held me young {in}[of] face   ....perhaps showed instead of held
and more so from below?

My figure was not all that fine,
but seeing it today,
I hope that you will understand
what I’m about to say.

My eyes once sparkled, emerald green,
this pair {is}[are] grayish-blue.
So if you borrowed them awhile,
I hope that you are through,

I know that I misplaced them,
those fingers that were thin.
These chubby stumps upon my hand
do not cause me to grin.  ...perhaps a single grin.  It seems to flow better though I may be wrong.

I use to dance until the dawn,
my vigor in high gear.
I hate this creaking up the stairs
with baggage in the rear.  

...ouch!!!

I had a head of golden locks,
as soft as rain[-]kissed days.
This coarsened mop upon my crown
is filled with strands of gray.

tell me about it.

With voice quite sweet I use to sing
so perfect it brought tears.
But now this graveled, screeching thing
makes children run in fear.

My teeth were strong, my bite divine,
what foods I could consume.
These choppers you have left me with
must come from someone’s tomb.

Once skin so soft, unto the touch
gave pleasure to a man.
This scaled red mess you left me with ..you used "you have left me with in the verse above.  How about "This scaled red mess all wrinkled"
is worse than desert sand.

You may admire Buddha’s face,
his form I do portray,
but find the belly I once had,
the one from yesterday.

oh dear middle age spread.  what happened to the washboard stomach.  Oh yes - children

You said when I turned forty,
I’d have a better life.
This was a lie you tricked me with
to steal away my light.

too true

Once my breasts were fine and firm
as perky as can be
These sagging boobs just slow me down
as you can plainly see.

why is it everything heads south as you grow older.  So depressing

I miss the looks from lustful eyes,
to take this was a crime.
Tis most unfair to steal my youth
when I am in my prime.

I use to run and sing and dance
expressing every joy.
But you have striped this from my life
and {just} made me [into] your toy.  ...for flow maybe

They say I should age gracefully,
I do not think this fine
I miss the shell of youthful form,
so please turn back the time.

yes please.  Humming "Turn back the hands of time"  by R. Kelly.  In my head I'm young.  It's just my body that lies

Who made up all these silly rules,
for aging to be done?
I think they should rewrite them soon,
before I use a gun.

Never did I sign my name
upon the dotted line,
to give away my body parts
or sharpness of my mind.

To this I warn you one last time,
before I go to bed,
return it all before the dawn
or I’ll be seeing red.

I want it back!

Thanks for the read, most chucklesome.  Now I think I'll go and smash a few mirrors.

Nina

[JLY]

Rosemerta,
This was a fun, clever story that flowed quite nicely and the theme is easily identifiable by an over 50 guy like me.  You managed to incorporate just about every physical characteristic that is affected by Father time.

This poem had a nice cadence to it, but for some reason the following line seemed to mix up the pace:

and just made me your toy.
I don't have a suggestion for you to improve it, but perhaps it is me, I found myself reading this over a few times, but it just didn't have the ringing feeling of the other lines.

This was my favorite verse:

I use to dance until the dawn,
my vigor in high gear.
I hate this creaking up the stairs
with baggage in the rear.

I am sure this will give every reader a chuckle.
JLY

[jgdittier]

Dear Rosemerta,
This is the first of yours I've read. I assure you I'll be reading your posts!
Cheers,    Ron  jgd

[ArtesiaMeeks]

Hi Rosemerta,

This was the cutest read my eyes have seen (with help of glasses) in a long spell.   I also like

I use to dance until the dawn,
my vigor in high gear.
I hate this creaking up the stairs
with baggage in the rear.

as my favorite line.  You have made my day and I will reread again and again.  It is nice to know there are lots of us in the same boat.  Your way with words here is GREAT!!!

AG

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Rosemerta... ah too well the tale is told of those of us who had our images stole,,, I woke up this morning to get up and go but my getup and go got up and went.... where I wish I knew... good humorous poem, thanks for sharing it.
Steve

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

:shock: Oh, my gosh! I got so busy editing and creating a new avitar that I totally forgot to thank everyone for their splendid help. I need to come out of hiding to do so.

Thanks to everyone for all the help and words of encouragement.

[Guest_Don_*]

Hi Rosemerta,

A very delightful reflection of faulty mirrors.  The title is perfect.

Don  :irish:

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Thanks, Don,

This was kind of fun to write, even though I was ticked off at the mirror.
 :medusa:

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Thanks, Steve & Don,

You didn't happen to find any of those things lying around, did you?

[Guest_Don_*]

Find what things lying around.

Glass shards perhaps?

Don

[Eisa]

Hi Rosemerta

This one made me smile as it could have been written about me. LOL!

good revision

Snow

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Yuppers, those glass shards went flying when I finally put a hammer to that old mirror.

I'm glad the revision works. I couldn't have done it without everyone's help. -- Jackie