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Trois-par-Huit (Three-by-Eight) Octa-Tri, New form by Cleo |
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Dec 5 04, 10:19
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Mosaic Master
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Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi all.
I've just created this new poetic form today. I am dubbing it Trois-par-Huit (Three-by-Eight or Octa-Tri). It is a poem containing 8 lines, displayed visually with three stanzas of either tercet, tercet, couplet (3, 3, 2) OR tercet, couplet, tercet (3, 2, 3) as follows;
1. The title is also the final line.
The line length requirements: Line 1 ~ 3 syllables Line 2 ~ 6 syllables Line 3 ~ 9 syllables
Lines 4 & 5 ~ 12 syllables
Line 6 ~ 9 syllables Line 7 ~ 6 syllables Line 8 ~ 3 syllables (is the title and summarizes the meaning of the poem)
The rhyme scheme requirements: Line 1. A Line 2. A Line 3. B Line 4. B Line 5. B Line 6. C Line 7. C Line 8. C
Give it a try!
~Cleo
UPDATE: Daniel has dubbed the form: Trois-par-Huit (Three-by-Eight) and I've just changed the stanza alignment to 3/2/3 as well....
Nature's King
The firs rise touching star-twinkled skies standing vigil o’er evening’s glow
wrapped in sparkling charms of glitter gold, ashen snow embraces kisses of crimson berries below
where silvery cherubs dance and sing …symbols of joy to bring Nature’s King.
© 2004 Lorraine M Kanter
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Dec 6 04, 00:33
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Group: Gold Member
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Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Dear Cleo: I love your significant variation of a Huitain, and this specific piece is sparkling! I'd only suggest a semi-colon after 'gold' or capitalizing 'Wrapped' -- to avoid a run-on. ~ ~ ~ May I please offer a suggestion for a name for this new form, since I think that yours is somewhat misleading... Since trimeter in poetry specifically refers to meter ( three feet per line)... and since Huitain is a French verse-form coming from the 15th and early 16th Centuries - an eight-line stanza with 8 or 10 syllables in each line, often iambic. Very similar to yours, it was written with three rhymes, but one utilized four times, and there were a number of rhyme schemes, like ababbcbc and abbaacac, and Un huitain enlace, or an enclosed huitain which had a rhyme scheme of aabaabcc... and since you vary from the typical iambic feet, I'd suggest you call your Huitain variation something like: "Trois-par-Huit" or "Three-by-Eight"respecting your Light, Daniel Trois-par-Huit
Two tercets piece with single couplet to constitute an eight-line verse-form
graduating from three to twelve ticks… to perform a pirouette, descending back to three… in warm
inter-rhymes that describe and repeat its title in one sweet Trois-par-Huit
© Daniel J Ricketts 06 Dec 2004
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Dec 6 04, 04:44
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Hello Daniel! That is an excellent suggestion for the name of this new form! I will use it ~ thankies so much! Will edit the title of this thread now.... Your addition is TRULY "one sweet Trois-par-Huit" Thanks so much! ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Dec 6 04, 07:52
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Whew!
I'm so pleased that you took my suggestion, LorII... since I had already introduced it in my one-form-per-day (30 day) challnge in Poetic Voices! I did, however, simply indicate that the title was under review. Now I can just say that's what it is!
Here's another one for you:
Silliness
When you do whatever you want to for once not concerned what
your associates may think of your humor, but enjoying new discovery – yet not to strut – you will find it to relieve much stress
surprise them you possess ~ silliness ~
© MLee Dickens’son 06 Dec 2004
P.S. I see before I even posted this, you'd posted yours while I was editing, James! I'm not much of a science fiction reader, so I suppose you'll fill us all in on your UK phenom, the Quatermass.
Nice tight piece with neat variation of including the title at both beginning and end.
deLightingly, Daniel
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Dec 6 04, 19:09
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (Jox @ Dec. 06 2004, 07:29) Ref: MB !-204 AB Copyright. To all - NB The syllable count works for me - but I pronounce things strangely. If you're not happy I'll set the bugs on you.
Hi Lori, Daniel (Thanks Daniel!) et al...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/ilove/tv/quatermass/
The invaders' embryos were stuck deep under London streets in their UFO - which escaped detection when crashing through the pavements because it was thought to be a ear-time bomb. (I hope I have that right!). The snow is my addition. The key to the Quatermass sci-fi is that these aliens are actually a different thread from our ancestors who developed differently. They look like ants but might even be our uncles. Wwwwhhhoooo...
Prof Bernard Quatermass and his discoveries gripped Britain's new tv audience of the 1950s/60s. The link, above has clips and lots of Quatermass junkie stuff.
This was terrible to post - the words kept eeriely disappearing. What you see is actually a picture-link to my web site. But I'll try posting again direct via text on ikonboard (where this was created).
James. I love it James!
Both your subject matter and your poem! :lovie:
Nice job! ~Cleo :cloud9:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Dec 6 04, 19:11
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (Just Daniel @ Dec. 06 2004, 07:52) Whew!
I'm so pleased that you took my suggestion, LorII... since I had already introduced it in my one-form-per-day (30 day) challnge in Poetic Voices! I did, however, simply indicate that the title was under review. Now I can just say that's what it is!
Here's another one for you:
Silliness
When you do whatever you want to for once not concerned what
your associates may think of your humor, but enjoying new discovery – yet not to strut – you will find it to relieve much stress
surprise them you possess ~ silliness ~
© MLee Dickens’son 06 Dec 2004
P.S. I see before I even posted this, you'd posted yours while I was editing, James! I'm not much of a science fiction reader, so I suppose you'll fill us all in on your UK phenom, the Quatermass.
Nice tight piece with neat variation of including the title at both beginning and end.
deLightingly, Daniel Simply EXCELLENT Daniel! :smart:
I look forward to reading more - it's all in the word choices to express oneself's thoughts...
COOL! :cool: :chilly:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Dec 6 04, 19:13
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (larrysgirl5548 @ Dec. 06 2004, 14:14)
I thought I'd give this a try!
~A Snowfall~ Flakes a-twirl sparkled prisms a-swirl a filmy veil of crystalline white creates a panaroma of Winter's delight to reflect shimmers in the aura of sunlight shocking beauty from a gem so small
to hold the eye enthral A snowfall STUNNING Cathy! :snowflake:
I've offered you a crit in Homer's as well.... What a neat piece to get one in the mood for snow (and it's snowing here right now)...
I look forward to reading more of this form from you...
Cheers! ~Cleo :cloud9:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Jox_*
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Dec 6 04, 19:22
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Guest
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Thanks Lori.
Just thought I'd dabble....
I saw your specifications for the form and thought it looked crazily complex, so I, naturally, couldn't resist. Well done on another new form. You should consider more and then publishing a book with your various new forms in and some examples. LM Kanter's Poetic Approaches for 21stC - or some better title. Idea is serious, though.
See you later.
J.
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Dec 7 04, 03:00
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Oh my... This is so wonderful! Lori, you know how much I enjoy Rictameter's and Cinquains and still, various forms that play with rhyme and meter...but what I like about this is the twist of the ending line, summarizing the poem and becoming the title. Excellent inclusion of params....
Let's see what I come up with...
SHOOTING STARS
In twilight, the swirl of night takes flight, stars glissade across a gassy skies..
A spectacle of solar beams slope then arise disquised in spiralled streams that glide and mesmerize
I sit beneath this stage on my car in glee, I watch--a far Shooting Stars.
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Dec 7 04, 03:23
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Hey Lori,
Would you mind If I spread your name around, with the form and an invitation to visit Mosaic Musings to check this out? ... And would you be so kind as to post this and hte other Kanter Poetry Forms to Poetry 911--in the Training Forum. I would rather the members use it as a serious form of poetry to practice and grow with it.
With enough use, it might be a house hold name, like Cinquains and the such...
Another thing... is there a way to document this with the Library of Congress? ... to make sure that you will always be noted as the inventor?? ... Oh I am excited about your new forms.
Best to you! Liz
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Dec 7 04, 05:23
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Dec. 07 2004, 03:00) Oh my... This is so wonderful! Lori, you know how much I enjoy Rictameter's and Cinquains and still, various forms that play with rhyme and meter...but what I like about this is the twist of the ending line, summarizing the poem and becoming the title. Excellent inclusion of params.... Let's see what I come up with...
SHOOTING STARS
In twilight, the swirl of night takes flight, stars glissade across a gassy skies..
A spectacle of solar beams slope then arise disquised in spiralled streams that glide and mesmerize
I sit beneath this stage on my car in glee, I watch--a far Shooting Stars.
Hi Liz!
I KNEW you'd like this one!
Just one teensy nit: S2 should be 3 lines then S2 only 2.... BUT actually I like the change more - so I will change that in the form to writer choice - either 3/2/3 or 3/3/2 for layout..... :pharoah2
A lovely piece - all the posts are very acute here which is so exciting for this new form!
HUGS! Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Jox_*
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Dec 7 04, 06:20
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Guest
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Lori... far from me with forms and all that, but...
Why not leave the verses flexible? You have specified syllables and lines and rhymes... by leaving the verse organisation flexible you will allow more"takes" on the form, without altering the fundementals of sound , etc.
Just a thought ... as you can see, my flying saucer shape combined into just the one verse.
Your form, your choice.
Tata, J.
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Dec 7 04, 06:22
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (Jox @ Dec. 07 2004, 06:20) Lori... far from me with forms and all that, but...
Why not leave the verses flexible? You have specified syllables and lines and rhymes... by leaving the verse organisation flexible you will allow more"takes" on the form, without altering the fundementals of sound , etc.
Just a thought ... as you can see, my flying saucer shape combined into just the one verse.
Your form, your choice.
Tata, J. YES- good idea Liz and James!
Writer can use either 3/3/2 OR 3/2/3 for the layout....
Cool! :snowflake:
:dance: Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Dec 7 04, 12:38
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Dec. 07 2004, 03:23) Hey Lori,
Would you mind If I spread your name around, with the form and an invitation to visit Mosaic Musings to check this out? ... And would you be so kind as to post this and hte other Kanter Poetry Forms to Poetry 911--in the Training Forum. I would rather the members use it as a serious form of poetry to practice and grow with it.
With enough use, it might be a house hold name, like Cinquains and the such...
Another thing... is there a way to document this with the Library of Congress? ... to make sure that you will always be noted as the inventor?? ... Oh I am excited about your new forms.
Best to you! Liz Hi Liz! :reindeer:
I'd be honored to post my forms at your site for learning exercises! :cool:
Of course any invitations to MM are appreciated as well! :dove:
Hmmmm - I will check into your query about LOC - good idea!
HUGS! ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Jox_*
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Dec 7 04, 19:22
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Guest
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Hi Daniel,
Sorry! I've tried really hard to translate this and failed. Would you please be kind enough to offer a translation so my poor brain can follow it?
Thanks in anticipation, James.
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Dec 7 04, 21:58
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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QUOTE Posted on Dec. 07 2004, 14:01 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hope that recent discussion does not imply that serious poetry has to be formal, sombre, fancy-ruffled or 'serious'.
Well Daniel, Serious means that at the very least, the poem should make sense and be readable. I find that [b]LORI'S] new endeavor's of creating poetry forms fall under serious, as to be taken on with a true desire to learn the form as one would a Sonnet, A Villinelle, or any other established form.
Lori, I am so sorry that was an error in stanza breaks... will fix it!
Hugs and great job on these! Liz
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Guest_Jox_*
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Dec 8 04, 03:08
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Guest
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Good Morning Daniel,
I popped back here looking for your kind translation. However, no only has it is it not there but also the original post has disappeared! (It was immediately above my request). Did you remove it or is there a technical glitch? We seem to have an outbreak of disappearing posts - must be the weather.
Seriously, though, I was hoping to see what you meant - so if you did remove it would you please consider re-posting and just helping me to understand... I would like to.
I hope I didn't upset you in any way - certainly didn't mean to. I wasn't being sarcastic or anything like that; I genuinely couldn't understand it, I'm afraid (people often ask me to explain my work too). I have always read your work and was simply asking for an explanation - nothing more. I promise.
Thanks, James.
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