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> Chances, A cinquain
Athena
post Feb 23 04, 06:01
Post #1


Egyptian
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Real Name: Dolly
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Chances

Chances
taken in life
expand our horizons,
while avoiding risky ventures
stagnates.

© D R Harris - 23 February 2004


Note:  I don't necessarily believe that chancey living is wise, but there have been times it worked out right for me.   sun.gif
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Feb 23 04, 06:19
Post #2


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Hi Dolly!

Another cool piece! cool.gif

I'm thinking about the word 'hiding' - for some reason it sticks out? What about straying perhaps?

GroupHug.gif
Hugs!
~Cleo :)


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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Guest_codger_*
post Feb 24 04, 10:10
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Wouldn't life be dull if we never took the odd risk or chance--wise words. sun.gif  dance.gif

Gerry.
 
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Guest_blondie_*
post Feb 24 04, 11:35
Post #4





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Hi there, Dolly!  wave.gif

I enjoyed your cinquain. :)  I have noticed you seem to have a knack for these, which I admire.  I am fond of the form, but I have trouble compacting a solid message into so few lines.  You do it quite well! :)

I can relate to this piece.....I guess it's the risk-taking "Aries" in me...

Take care and happy writing!

~Amy~
 
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Athena
post Feb 25 04, 18:56
Post #5


Egyptian
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From: Oregon, USA
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Real Name: Dolly
Writer of: Poetry



QUOTE(Cleo_Serapis @ Feb. 23 2004, 03:19)
Hi Dolly!

Another cool piece! cool.gif

I'm thinking about the word 'hiding' - for some reason it sticks out? What about straying perhaps?

GroupHug.gif
Hugs!
~Cleo :)

Hi Lori,

I pondered what you said and replaced "hiding" with "avoiding".  What do you thnk? Does this work better?

Thanks for stopping by and commenting,

Hugs,

Dolly
 
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Athena
post Feb 25 04, 18:58
Post #6


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QUOTE(codger @ Feb. 24 2004, 07:10)
Wouldn't life be dull if we never took the odd risk or chance--wise words. sun.gif  dance.gif

Gerry.

Yes Gerry, I do believe you're correct.  Thanks for stopping and commenting, friend.

Blessings,

Dolly
 
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Athena
post Feb 25 04, 19:05
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QUOTE(blondie @ Feb. 24 2004, 08:35)
Hi there, Dolly!  wave.gif

I enjoyed your cinquain. :)  I have noticed you seem to have a knack for these, which I admire.  I am fond of the form, but I have trouble compacting a solid message into so few lines.  You do it quite well! :)

I can relate to this piece.....I guess it's the risk-taking "Aries" in me...

Take care and happy writing!

~Amy~

Hi Amy,

Glad you liked this wee poem.  I had the same problem in the beginning, with feeling the need of too many words.  I'm still working on it, but the way I began was reading Daniel's fine cinqs and then writing a poem about some subject, using as few words as possible.  Then, I began eliminating words in order to fit the poem's syllable count ... lo and behold, I found I didn't really NEED all the words I'd thought I did.

Thanks for your compliments and good luck in writing one of your own!  When you do, let me know as I want to read it, OK?

Blessings,

Dolly
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Feb 25 04, 19:43
Post #8


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Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Hiya Dolly! :)

Melikes!!!!!

Artist.gif
:pharoah2


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Athena
post Feb 26 04, 00:29
Post #9


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Hey Lori!  MELIKESTOO!  Thanks for letting me know something needed changing!

Hugs,

Dolly
 
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Siren
post Feb 26 04, 10:00
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Dolly,

So much said with few words.

Enjoyed

Dani


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Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

"A good book is not read and forgotten. It lingers in the mind of the reader, reshaping thoughts, asking new questions, revisiting ancient ones."

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Guest_Zeus˛_*
post Feb 26 04, 16:59
Post #11





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Dolly,
so much said poignantly with so few words.
Larry
 
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Athena
post Mar 1 04, 05:03
Post #12


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QUOTE(Siren @ Feb. 26 2004, 07:00)
Dolly,

So much said with few words.

Enjoyed

Dani

Hi Dani ... it takes time and doing to improve one's skills.  Daniel's been telling me this for years and I think I'm just beginning to find my muse.

Thank you for your kindness in stopping and commenting,

Dolly
 
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Athena
post Mar 1 04, 05:06
Post #13


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Writer of: Poetry



QUOTE(Zeus˛ @ Feb. 26 2004, 13:59)
Dolly,
so much said poignantly with so few words.
Larry

Ahhhhhh yes, my friend ... a lesson I'm learning more about every day.  I've noticed the last lingering taste of my foot-in-my-mouth is leaving.  When one's mouth is moving it's hard to engage ears or muse.

Thank you, larry,

Dolly
 
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