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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms _ Abelard's Passion (Revision 2)

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Dec 23 08, 14:47

Abelard's Passion (Revision 2)

Ignorance castrates,
but passion is forever,
beyond death itself.

Peggy Carpenter Harwood

Abelard's Passion (Revision 1)

Hate castrated him,
but passion is forever-
beyond death itself.

Peggy Carpenter Harwood

Abelard's Passion

Evil castrates him,
but passion is forever-
beyond death itself.

Peggy Carpenter Harwood

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Dec 27 08, 16:52

An interesting metaphor here Peggy with your use of 'castrates' - such a strong word. I'm not familiar with Abelard - is he someone in a myth? Sorry to ask, I'm at my folks in Maine at present using dial-up with Firefox so it's not too harsh but still slower than I'm used to back at home - no time to google...

I wonder if there's a substitute for the word 'but'? Perhaps "Her" or Their? Do tell me more about this theme you have started...

Happy Ho Ho Ho!
~Cleo

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Dec 27 08, 17:57

Hi Cleo,

The Abelard and Heloise story is an old one, but a true one. Peter Abelard was a French philosopher who taught at Notre Dame in Paris in the eleventh and twelfth centuries. He fell in love with one of his students, the beautiful Heloise. Since he was a teacher of philosophy, he was not allowed to have sex or ever marry. But he did have sex with Heloise, and she became pregnant. Abelard secretly married her and took her to his sister's house far away from Paris to have the baby. They named the baby Astrolade. Heloise's Uncle, the rector of Notre Dame, was Heloise's guardian and became violently angry at Abelard for shaming his niece. The uncle hired a band of Paris ruffians to castrate Abelard, so they broke into his lodgings and did castrate him. Much of the Paris population rose up against the uncle, and he was ruined financially and reputation-wise as well.

Abelard was desolate with grief and so was Heloise. Abelard talked her into joining a holy order, and he did as well. Their child Astrolade was raised by Abelard's sister and her husband. Abelard and Heloise wrote to each other until Abelard died of old age.
They both attained great fame in their holy orders. Abelard died years before Heloise, and when Heloise died Abelard's grave was opened and Heloise's body was laid beside his. When Napoleon came to power, Josephine, his wife, had the bodies of Abelard and Heloise were moved to a Paris cemetery. I forget the name of the cemetery This is not myth or legend, but history. Now this part is legend: It is said that when they lay Heloise's body beside him in the grave he put his arm around her.

Their grave is visited by thousands yearly to this day in Paris. Cleo, you would find this a fascinating story. Google them.

Peggy

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Dec 28 08, 08:15

Hey Peggy,

It certainly is a fascinating story, one I will look into. Thanks for sharing this history with me.

Cheers
~Cleo

Posted by: ohsteve Jan 9 09, 13:07

Peggy, a very interesting story, seems like there would be more than a senryu in all that. Good Short piece though.
Steve

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Jan 9 09, 13:32

Hi Steve,

Thanks so much for reading and responding!!! And especially thank you for the suggestion of a longer poem! That would be quite a challenge for me for story poems of much more than 12 or 14 lines seem difficult, but maybe I need to branch out and try. Maybe I could work something up by Valentine's Day.

Peggy

Posted by: Larry Jan 12 09, 19:22

Hi Peggy,

A couple of suggestions and some information you might be interested in about Peter Abelard (1079-1142).

Suggestions, take or toss!

Since Heloise's Uncle was not really an evil man, just violently angry and seemingly extremely hateful, and to lose the "but" in L2, you might consider this:

Castrated by hate
His passion lasts forever
beyond death itself

Info: I believe that after Peter entered the holy order, he wrote a beautiful poem/prayer that was translated by John Mason Neale in 1851, which you might be interested in reading.

O what their joy and their glory must be,
those endless sabbaths the blessed ones see,
crown for the valiant, to weary ones rest;
God shall be all, and in all ever blest.

Truly "Jerusalem" name we that shore,
city of peace that brings joy evermore;
wish and fulfillment are not severed there,
nor do things prayed for come short of the prayer.

There, where no troubles distraction can bring,
we the sweet anthems of Zion shall sing;
while for thy grace, Lord, their voices of praise
thy bless'ed people eternally raise.

Now, in the meanwhile, with hearts raised on high,
we for that country must yearn and must sigh;
seeking Jerusalem, dear native land,
through our long exile on Babylon's strand.

Low before him with our praises we fall,
of whom, and in whom, and through whom are all;
of whom, the Father; and in whom, the Son;
through whom, the Spirit, with them ever One.

Peter Abelard

Loved the story and the concise way your senryu covered the it.

Larry

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Jan 12 09, 19:48

Hi Larry,

Thanks so much for sharing Abelard's poem!!! He was a pretty good poet, wasn't he?

And I do think "hate" may be a better word than "evil." Thanks for the suggestion!!

Peggy

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 13 09, 06:41

Yes, a fascinating poem for sure!!!!

Peggy, not sure if you are a stickler to the form, but now L1 has only 4 syllables, but Larry's suggestion would fix that line: Castrated by hate

Cheers
~Cleo

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Jan 13 09, 07:55

Hi Cleo,

Thanks for catching the missing syllable!! I fixed it.

Peggy

Posted by: Sekhmet Mar 8 09, 04:27

Hello Peggy - Thank you for reminding us of the tragic romance of Abelard and Eloise.
My husband and I visited the Pere-Lachaise cemetery in Paris many, many years ago - and visited the 'alleged' tomb of the lovers.
We were honeymooning at the time - and had recently seen the play, 'Abelard and Eloise' at,(If I remember correctly)The National Theatre, in London.
"Although the Pere-Lachaise Cemetery in Paris is believed to be the most likely resting place of the two lovers, their final burial spot remains in dispute, with the Oratory of the Paraclete also claiming to be their final resting place."
An excellently succinct encapsulation of one of the great love stories of all time.
Leonora

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Mar 8 09, 06:06

Hi Leonora,

Thank you for the read and the bit of history!! I didn't know about the conflict between the two cemeteries. I've been to Paris three times but have not had an opportunity to visit the cemeteries. Thank you again!!!

Peggy

Posted by: Arnfinn Mar 10 09, 04:16

G'day Peg,

Abelard's Passion (Revision 2)

Ignorance castrates, >>> first line is a concise quotation of the real life story
but passion is forever, >>> Ditto the above,
beyond death itself. >>> The summing up of the above.

I venture to say an improvement.

John

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Mar 10 09, 06:45

Hi John,

It's good to hear from you! Thank you so much for your comments!!

Peggy