 Fascination, obsessive disorder (not 4 faint hearted) |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
| Guest_Dove_* |
 Oct 24 03, 22:23
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#1
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Fascination
Wash. Scour. Rinse. My hands are tomato red. The texture is of raw meat. More soap. Scrub. Scrub. Scrub. The water is cherry tinted. My fingernails are bleached. I can see them. They’re crawling, diving, and dining on my skin. Their little parasite bodies are digging under my flesh, like worms burrowing, and chew on the tissue that I’m scraping away. Wash. Scour. Rinse. Scrub. Scrub. Scrub. More blood. A disease. Scrub. Scrub. Scrub. |
  
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| Guest_Pygmalion_* |
Oct 24 03, 22:29
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#2
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oooohhh, YUCH!!!
made my flesh crawl  deb 
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| Guest_Dove_* |
Oct 26 03, 13:11
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#3
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QUOTE(Pygmalion @ Oct. 24 2003, 21:29) oooohhh, YUCH!!! made my flesh crawl Pyg--- yes it does seem to have that effect.  thank you for reading. 
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| Guest_Zeus²_* |
Oct 26 03, 16:54
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#4
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Jessica,
Sounds like a OCD -obsessive-compulsive disorder with cleanliness. Very compelling and give me the willies.  But aptly put. Larry Z man |
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| Guest_Dove_* |
Oct 26 03, 17:07
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#5
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Zeus---
yes OCD...had to clean out all the cobwebs out of my head.  thanks for reading. |
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| Guest__* |
Oct 27 03, 03:39
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#6
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Good morning Jess.
I already washed my hands today even, but now I have to go wash them again. Oy Vey! Despite all of that hygiene, I found a little nit that had escaped the battle zone and chew(ing) on the tissue that I’m scraping away. to stay in perfect tense with the stanza, Or, you could rephrase like worms that burrow and chew on the tissue that I’m scraping away. Which somehow seems more poetical. Hugz A |
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Oct 27 03, 09:24
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#7
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 18,560 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
or, to build on A's comment...
simply "chewing..." or even "eschewing..." might work! Just don't scrub the poem! sLightly nauseated, Daniel :sun: ·······  ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner        |
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| Guest_Dove_* |
Oct 28 03, 23:35
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#8
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QUOTE(AkhenhatenII @ Oct. 27 2003, 01:39) Despite all of that hygiene, I found a little nit that had escaped the battle zone and chew(ing) on the tissue that I’m scraping away. to stay in perfect tense with the stanza, Or, you could rephrase like worms that burrow and chew on the tissue that I’m scraping away. A. ---  oops.  i had to rescan to make sure i didn't miss any others! but thank you for noticing that and I'm taking your second suggestion into mind.always a pleasure, dove |
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| Guest_Dove_* |
Oct 28 03, 23:39
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#9
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QUOTE(Just Daniel @ Oct. 27 2003, 07:24) or even "eschewing..." might work! daniel--- eschewing? i had to look that one up. and the meaning comes back as...: To avoid;shun. that would be the wrong meaning for that line. did you have another meaning in mind? thanks for giving me your insight. 
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