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> 'Short Rondeau', (Corrected) ~ Thanks, Merlin!
JustDaniel
post May 7 13, 10:16
Post #1


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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,888
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Merlin has introduced us to what we will call 'short rondeau' by quoting a piece by James Henry Leigh Hunt:

QUOTE
Jenny Kissed Me

Jenny kissed me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,
Say that health and wealth have missed me,
Say I'm growing old, but add,
Jenny kissed me.

- James Henry Leigh Hunt

Simply by observation, I conclude that the specific meter of each line is probably up to the writer, so long as the metrical pattern continues throughout the poem up to the concluding phrase (a repetition of the opening segment of the first line) and that the rhyme pattern is as follows:
A
b
a
b

c
d
c
R of A (d)

Note: previously we'd not recognized that L6 should rhyme with the closing fragment ( 'rentrement' ) A


Since Merlin offered this comment when he referred to Hunt's poem:

QUOTE
Global warming has finally arrived in my region, so I'll most likely be away from the keyboard much of the time, getting my fix of vitamin SUN!

Merlin

... I found it necessary to challenge his 'lame excuse' (tongue-in-cheek, of course) with my own very first 'short rondeau' fashioned after his example:



Merlin's Hiding


Merlin's hiding in the sun --

saying that he'll do no writing?

Time, you thief, you get it done --

use that laptop you've been slighting.

We are weary; no excuse!

Say no more your health's dividing.


Lounging there on his caboose

Merlin's hiding.



© MLee Dickens'son 2013

correction: L6 previously: Say no more your health prevent's it.



We hope that y'all will give the form a try yourself!

deLighting in the prospect, Daniel
sun.gif


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Posts in this topic
- JustDaniel   'Short Rondeau'   May 7 13, 10:16
- - Larry   Hi Daniel, I don't know if Merlin is kidding ...   May 7 13, 13:45
- - JustDaniel   I don't know whether to say, Bravo, Larry...   May 7 13, 16:46
- - Merlin   Chopping dandelions’ heads from the back an...   May 7 13, 23:40
- - Maureen   What an absolute delight to read these four submis...   May 8 13, 17:14
- - Larry   Well, We’re Waiting! Maureen muses, try her h...   May 9 13, 00:32
- - Maureen   Well Larry you asked for it - wait no more - Maure...   May 9 13, 05:20
|- - JustDaniel   QUOTE (Maureen @ May 9 13, 06:20 ) Well L...   May 9 13, 19:24
- - Merlin   Summer’s gone? It’s just arriving after cold and...   May 9 13, 10:10
- - Merlin   Daniel wrote a short rondeau wanting folks to cri...   May 9 13, 10:33
- - Merlin   Larry jumped into the pool where you find the poe...   May 9 13, 11:06
- - Larry   Planting Rows Planting roses now complete, Merlin...   May 9 13, 14:42
- - Maureen   Oh thats a great word play Larry - well done I...   May 9 13, 17:09
- - JustDaniel   Uncrit Tickle No one's offering critique, but...   May 9 13, 18:56
- - JustDaniel   Maureen... Thank you so much for spurring us on. ...   May 9 13, 19:11
- - JustDaniel   Mock Critique Merlin's mocking, but I'm h...   May 9 13, 19:38
- - Cleo_Serapis   What an interesting variation, Daniel and Eric...   May 10 13, 07:03
- - Merlin   Now that our “shorts” are nicely in pl...   May 12 13, 12:21
- - JustDaniel   Thank you so very much, Eric! I think I'v...   May 12 13, 14:02
- - Merlin   We pass the plate from here to yon and fill it fu...   May 12 13, 14:55
- - JustDaniel   Posted I've posted now the 'Virilei' ...   May 12 13, 16:15
- - Larry   Hi Daniel, I read the thread (just a snippet) of ...   May 13 13, 14:56
- - JustDaniel   We have no plate to pass just now; perhaps a hat w...   Dec 8 13, 21:34
- - Larry   I’m oh so glad you’ve brought it back into the rea...   Dec 10 13, 01:09
- - JustDaniel   When Maureen comes, I too will smile! Perhaps ...   Dec 10 13, 09:48
- - Larry   I wait but no one comes and plays or banters words...   Dec 22 13, 22:58
- - Larry   I waited for nearly 11 months and no one showed up...   Nov 18 14, 14:54
- - JustDaniel   When we're disguised in foreign form our job b...   Nov 21 14, 15:15
- - Larry   Confusion reigns when taught new forms especially ...   Nov 24 14, 12:41
- - JustDaniel   Well, Larry, we'll need Merlin to either clear...   Nov 28 14, 01:23
- - Larry   On all of those the lines are eight but Merlin...   Dec 1 14, 14:44
- - JustDaniel   There's but one need to patch; it's his; a...   Dec 4 14, 07:25
- - Larry   One needs a butt; gluteus max, to cushion falls fo...   Dec 5 14, 16:01
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- - Larry   When in the desert you may feel quite foolish in t...   Jun 26 17, 17:09
- - JustDaniel   Ice chests are not a place for feet to be for long...   Jun 27 17, 06:43
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- - JustDaniel   Will we employ a poet here or must they write like...   Jun 28 17, 12:17
- - Larry   What tricks we play to break the mold of normal po...   Jun 29 17, 08:28
- - JustDaniel   Yes, no one asks in empty halls deep questions or ...   Jun 29 17, 13:54
- - Larry   No more critiques so we can say goodbye to polishi...   Jun 30 17, 21:08
- - JustDaniel   Critique is hard to give and take when we're n...   Jul 1 17, 05:23
- - Larry   Misunderstood; alas for some who feel their poetry...   Jul 2 17, 10:13
- - JustDaniel   Improve your poetry with pros who offer help to ti...   Jul 2 17, 16:03
- - Larry   No basting, but that ewer grates upon the shelf wh...   Jul 3 17, 14:11
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- - JustDaniel   She thinks your touch is just so right; she swoons...   Jul 12 17, 02:33
- - Larry   She’ll ever use her brain to go it on her own with...   Jul 12 17, 22:22
- - JustDaniel   Your lesson writing short rondeau is, First decide...   Jul 13 17, 01:24
- - Larry   that’s “shorty” The shorty penned here has a sure...   Jul 13 17, 21:52
- - JustDaniel   To twist a phrase and rearrange the words a bit is...   Jul 14 17, 14:42
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- - Larry   futility You’re pushing on some balls that stretc...   Oct 30 17, 08:50
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