 Mirage |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
| Guest_Dove_* |
 Nov 15 03, 03:26
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#1
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Mirage
Weeping sweat. Inverted asphalt. Bare feet. I lick salt from my upper lip. Warm air comes from the fan. Wet hair. Itchy skin. Dare not move. Stuck to the vinyl couch. Peel me like an apple. Unglue the clothes from my skin. Cold washcloth has gone hot. Breathing on ice cubes. Exhaustion seeps through the pores. |
  
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Replies
| Guest_Dove_* |
Nov 21 03, 18:17
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#2
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QUOTE(Cybele @ Nov. 16 2003, 02:34) I do look forward to reading your poems. They are so very individually "yours". thank you.  Just one tiny thing puzzles me, Weeping sweat. Inverted asphalt. Bare feet. I lick salt from my upper lip. I don't quite understand L2. Could you explain please? Cybele--- I was actually wondering to myself if i should re-write this in a different form, with either semi-colons and complete sentences where there might seem a lack of. i'm not for sure and i think not ready to climb that steep mountain of deep and total editting. as to your question. "inverted asphalt" was meant to describe a road mirage...while walking on bare feet, outside under the sun down the street...the road warps under my sight...from halluncination...from heat stroke. |
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Posts in this topic
Dove Mirage Nov 15 03, 03:26 
Zeus˛ Jessica,
Oh that icky feeling. This is such an int... Nov 15 03, 04:09 Dove QUOTE(Zeus˛ @ Nov. 15 2003, 02:09)Oh that ick... Nov 16 03, 03:00 Cybele Good Morning
I do look forward to reading your p... Nov 16 03, 04:34 Pygmalion hi jess!
you lived in the tropics, huh! ... Nov 21 03, 22:28 Makes me tired just to think of all that heat, Jes... Nov 22 03, 13:32 
Lecta I like it! I enjoyed how you conveyed the imag... Nov 25 03, 15:06 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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