Beneath My Hand Options

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Beneath My Hand

I remember
Black Suede -
scented skin;
muscles - firm, rippling.
I feel the change
in facial structure
as you smile ...

beneath my hand.

Encircled by your warmth,
wherein our love resides;
I know your thoughts
and you sense mine ...

Placed upon your heart,
I feel passion roiling;
as lips draw near
feelings grow stronger ...

beneath my hand.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Oct2005

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Hi Nina,

A very passionate, sensual poem from you this time.

I was thinking of my fiancee - who lives in central Michigan - so we are apart a good deal of the time.  Last night I could actually smell his cologne!

Just a few thoughts:

Beneath My Hand

I remember
Black Suede -
scented skin;
muscles - firm, rippling. ...mmmm    :laugh:
I feel the change
in facial structure
as you smile ...

beneath my hand.

Encircled by your warmth,
wherein our love resides;  ...I wonder if you really need this line.  Does love only live in his warmth? I guess not, seeing as how his "warmth" isn't here!  Makes me sound dependent on his closeness doesn't it? mmmm  I must save that line for something else.
I know your thoughts
and you sense mine ...  ...aww, lovely  Thank you!

Placed upon your heart,
I feel passion roiling; ....is roiling the right word?  If feels somewhat negative more how you'd describe a storm rather than passion.  I can't think of an alternative that doesn't have a double meaning though.   I'm still working on that, I couldn't think of anything else either at the time ...
as lips draw near
feelings grow stronger ...

beneath my hand.  ooer, my imagination is working overtime, LOL  ROFL  I had to go back and reread the whole thing.  I couldn't figure out what you were talking about but now ... Oh my!! Talk about double-meanings!  lol  :garfield:  :garfield:  :garfield:

I enjoyed this, thanks

I'm so glad you did and thanks for your comments!  

Cathy