Merry? Go-Round Options

[Guest_Nina_*]

Merry? Go-Round (revised with thanks to James, Cathy and Fran)

Once gaily-coloured horse
on endlessly turning
merry-go-round.

Weather-worn,
paint peeling,
chipped,
scarred.

Surrounded by
noise,
bustle,
grime.

Genteel elegance
battered through time.

Fixed rigid:
limited movement
controlled from above  –
up, down,
round and round.

Trapped in never-ending circle;
weighted by burdens carried:
narrow existence.

Does it yearn to escape?
flex restricted limbs;
gallop off - different direction
far from its prison.

Light as a soaring swallow:
riderless,
         unencumbered,
                             independent,
                                                  free.



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Merry-Go-Round (original)

A once gaily-coloured horse
stands on endlessly turning
merry-go-round:
weather worn,
paint peeling,
chipped, scarred:
surrounded by noise,
bustle and grime:
genteel elegance
battered through time.

Rigidly fixed on its platform:
limited movement
controlled from above  –
up, down,
round and round:
trapped in never-ending circle;
weighed down by burdens carried:
narrow existence.

Does it yearn to escape -
flex restricted limbs;
gallop off in divergent direction
far from its prison cage;
light as a swallow soaring high:
riderless,
unencumbered,
independent,
free.


Nina

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Lori

I really think your revised version is pretty polished here. I LOVE it!

You've captured the essense of a carousel  horse and now make us ponder what they would do if they could detach themselves from the merry-go-round and run away....

Thank you.

You could do more with this piece too if you wished to - describe the different items on teh merry-go-round - the benches and other animals - how their color palettes differ.....

Do they like the music?
an interesting idea but not one I would want to use with this piece.  The merry-go-round is meant to be a metaphor for life and the "treadmill" we get ourselves stuck on, doing the same thing day-in, day-out (well I do anyway), the routine and mundane - work, housework, shopping, sleeping, eating etc - and perhaps yearning to do something completely different, to escape, get off this never-ending cycle that traps us.

I think perhaps the metaphor hasn't worked as the message hasn't come across at all.  

thanks

Nina