An azure greeting, an ivory farewell Options

[Guest_KnightWolf_*]

Before:
O, vanguard bloom, wilt thou nourish the dew this day?
Thy touch will cleave unto her soul with steadied hands
Each sapphire strand entranced by silver filigree strains
That resound with the descending drops of tenderness.


Sylph ethereal, and sycamore memory ‘neath the keel
Of Sky, sifting Meadow’s veil with every fallen petal.
Emerald prayers concentric with descants and reverie
Intertwine, clasping each fold of the vale, end to end.


Her flora, and dawn, a locket of golden stream unfurled
Lies down across the crocus gown, mist lingered once more,
While nigh a symphony clambers ebony white upon lace,
Her frost-lily hemstitch of soul doth clothe us two whole.

After:
O, vanguard bloom, wilt thou nourish the dew this day?
Thy touch will cleave unto her soul with steadied hands
Each sapphire strand entranced by silver filigree strains
That resound with the descending drops of tenderness.


Sylph ethereal and sycamore memory ‘neath the keel
Of Sky, sifting Meadow’s veil with every fallen petal.
Emerald prayers concentric with descants and reverie
Intertwine, clasping each fold of the vale, end to end.


Her flora and dawn, a locket of golden stream unfurled,
Lie down across the crocus gown, mist lingered once more,
While nigh a symphony clambers ebony, white upon lace,
Her frost-lily hemstitch of soul doth clothe us two whole.

[Guest_KnightWolf_*]

Hehe, thanks for the heads up Cybele, and thank you Cleo for the warm welcome and suggestions. The vangaurd bloom isnt truly a flower, , thus it isnt a flower nourishing dew, but I am asking death if he will nourish the dew. As for strains i would like to keep it intact, as my intended meaning was the usage as follows: in Music. A passage of expression; a tune or an air. As for the removal of two in the ending line I would prefer to keep it since removing detracts from it, in my humble opinion.

Nick :)