Odd Socks Options

[Guest_Nina_*]

Odd Socks (revised)

A pair of odd socks
tucked in a drawer:
one blue,
one black flecked with white;
long ill-matched;
hidden in darkness,
never proudly displayed.

I should separate them;
initiate search for their mates.
Yet something stops me -
fear of change?
loneliness worries?
habit?

I’ve grown used to them paired,
so they lie
folded together;
one blue,
one black  flecked with white;
growing old
trapped.


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Odd Socks (original)

A pair of odd socks
tucked in a drawer:
one blue,
one black, flecked with white;
ill-matched for so long;
hiding in darkness
never proudly displayed.

I should separate them;
initiate search for their mate.
Yet something stops me -
fear for change?
thoughts of loneliness?
habit?

I’ve grown used to seeing them paired,
so there they lie
folded together;
one blue,
one black, flecked with white;
gathering dust,
growing old.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Alan

Silly me, I read this as about odd socks, until other crits and your answers opened my eyes, and I like what I now see.
an easy assumption to make, but I'm very pleased you like what you now see.  

thanks very much for your suggestions.

A pair of odd socks -- Odd socks, paired ?yes,I know it sounds odd but that is the point of the poem - they are a pair.
tucked in a drawer:
one blue,
one black, flecked with white; -- no need for comma ?
ill-matched for so long; -- too long ?hmm they probably have been ill-matched for too long, but also a long time.  I shall have to think which meaning I want
hiding in darkness -- hidden ? add commaagreed on both and the previous comma
never proudly displayed.

I should separate them; -- They should be separated ?
initiate search for their mate. -- mate-search initiated ?again, I shall have to think about whether or not I want to move the narrator out of this piece.  Thanks for suggesting it.
Yet something stops me - stops this ?
fear for change?
thoughts of loneliness? -- poss Cap these line starts ?, or use ;;; ?
habit?I'll go for caps

gathering dust
and old habits ?
I think I'll stay will the original as this changes the meaning, losing the fact that they are growing old together

Thanks again for the very helpful suggestions.

Nina