Malice Un-forethought, Wizard Award ~ A poem Options

[Guest_Jox_*]

© James Oxenholme, 2005. I, James Oxenholme, do assert my right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with Sections 77 and 78 of The Copyrights, Designs And Patents Act, 1988. (Laws of Cymru & England, as recognised by international treaties). This work was simultaneously copyrighted in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the United States of America. This work is posted as an unpublished work in order to elicit critical assistance and other helpful comment, only.

Ref: TC 0359 AD (Thanks, Fran, Dani, Nina and Alan )


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Malice Un-forethought
by TC

Prometheus, a modern man,
forged in heat and fire:
a hundred-thousand volts
powered his electric birth.

I shall call you St. Norme:
You shall have a saintly future;
a normality for all humankind.

Limbs working; voice talking,
he strode across the land.
A man of parts lived in him,
yet he only existed in them.

Yearned to be whole:
as the race from which
he’d been forged.

Though people shun
such different men:
at best to be ignored.

Asylum denied.
Dejected, he turned to his God:
Why have you rejected me?

The good doctor, gone bad,
could only weep:
You are a race apart;
different: a threat.

So St. Norme turned:
he fought against all.
Love, companionship denied:
others’ lives, liberty he took.

From conception, he had
no chance; no future.
He changed his ways, his name
to become what they made him.

Hope begat misery;
desire begat slavery;
destiny begat tyranny.

St. Norme begat the Monster.

(end)

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TC 0359 AC

Malice Un-forethought
by TC

Prometheus, a modern man
forged in heat and fire:
a hundred-thousand volts
powered his electric birth.

I shall call you St. Norme:
You shall have a saintly future;
a normality for all humankind.

Limbs working; voice talking,
he strode across the land.
A man of parts, lived in him,
yet he only existed in them.

Yearned to be whole;
of the race from
whence he’d been forged.

Though people shun
such different men:
at best to be ignored.

Asylum denied, dejected
he turned, to his God:
Why have you rejected me?

The good doctor, gone bad,
could only weep:
You are a race apart;
different: a threat.

So St. Norme turned:
against all he fought.
Love, companionship denied:
others’ life, liberty he took.

From inception, he had
no chance; no future.
He changed his ways, his name
to become what they made him.

Hope begat misery;
desire begat slavery;
destiny begat tyranny.

St. Norme begat the Monster.

(end)

====================================

NB: "The Modern Prometheus" is the sub-title of the gothic horror novel, "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley - which bears little relationship in its portrayal of the Monster to most films (save Kenneth Brannagh's).

NB2: the original Prometheus was the chap who stole fire (amongst other things) from the Greek gods and gave it to mankind. They were rather hacked-off by his behaviour.

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[Guest_Toumai_*]

Good morning, James

I've just been away for the weekend, so I'm not sure my brain is working again yet, so excuse my efforts as I try to crit

Malice Un-forethought

A very interesting twist in the title. Evil by accident.

Prometheus, a modern man

I googled to check my vague memories of Prometheus and found that according to Greek legend he created mankind, and passed on the knowledge of the gods to them, including fire. He locked all their ills in a box, which Pandora then opened.

So here you have a 'modern' Prometheus, who is a man, not a god?

forged in heat and fire:
a hundred-thousand volts
powered his electric birth.

This is a little confusing, but I presume the birth isn't 'his': it is the birth of whatever he is creating. Frankenstein and Prometheus? (Sounds like a 40s Hammer Horror - 'Frankenstein meets Prometheus' ... ahem, sorry - brain not behaving)

I shall call you St. Norme:
You shall have a saintly future;
a normality for all humankind.

Normality? Makes me think of stats and 'normal' distributions of a population. So St. Norme is the perfect average?

I think I may have gone off at a tangent (to use another mathematical metaphor, lol)

Limbs working; voice talking,
he strode across the land.
A man of parts, lived in him,
yet he only existed in them.

So he is 'alive' yet only thru the men who are compositely him? (Sure I could word that better ...  )

Yearned to be whole;
of the race from
whence he’d been forged.

So he is missing something ... the extremes? (following my interpretation ... ) and now we have 'race' mentioned, but is that as in races, or the 'human race' ?

Though people shun
such different men:
at best to be ignored.

'Such' men  - a composite, perfect, like St Norme? Or the 'race' from which he was forged - could mean either.  But I think you mean St Norme?

Asylum denied, dejected
he turned, to his God:
Why have you rejected me?

Very biblical, and very modern (asylum) - a fantastic juxtaposition - brill verse

The good doctor, gone bad,
could only weep:
You are a race apart;
different: a threat.

And now it is too late - the Dr repents, but cannot undo his mistakes?

So St. Norme turned:
against all he fought.
Love, companionship denied:
others’ life, liberty he took.

From inception, he had
no chance; no future.
He changed his ways, his name
to become what they made him.

Give a dog a bad name ...

Hope begat misery;
desire begat slavery;
destiny begat tyranny.

St. Norme begat the Monster.

Even the most normal/'perfect' person can be forced into monstrosity by society?

Besides, what is normal in one group is not in another - so merely re-locate and it can happen?

James, I really enjoy critting your poems cos no matter how far-fetched the crits ramble you are happy to consider the interpretations and discuss them (note - I am squirming, hoping I am not too way off the mark with this, as I have let my imagination fly)

Fran