Nightwalkers, triplet poetry Options

[Guest__*]

Nightwalker

The beauty of the country night
is undiminished by the blight
of light pollution from the town.

The star besprinkled midnight blue.
A backcloth for a moon that’s’ new
to men in all its glory shown.

The city dwellers do not see
the sky in all its finery.
Because the city wears a crown

of neon advertising signs
and sodium lamps that stretch in lines.
That gentle starlight has outshone.

The countryman wants none of this.
He much prefers the moonlight’s kiss
to find his way to his hearthstone.

The glaring of electric light
steals all the magic from the night
and lover’s dreams remain unknown.

Now when I take my evening stroll
I find it soothing to my soul.
My lady moon is smiling down

and she will keep me company.
There is no cost her light is free.
I cannot claim it for my own.

The silver lamp that lights the sky
is shared by all men equally.
The goddess that all men have known

Since men first looked up to the sky
and saw her there and wondered why.
The moon her lambent light has shown.

The sun that lights the earth by day
is soft reflected in her ray.
So darkness may be overthrown.

The townsfolk have my sympathy
because they never get to see
the night when lit by stars alone.

Pinpoints of light that hang in space
oblivious of the human race.
Like silver coins that have been thrown

with wild abandon by a hand
Who cares no whit where they might land?
like seeds broadcast as they are sown.

I walk beneath the sky at night
and satisfy my appetite
for beauty though I walk alone.

 :talktohand:

[Michelle]

Hi poetpiers,

this poem is very lovely.
I really like your rhyme scheme.
The flow is very good
and the message,
one that I agree completely with.

I've gone through and offered comment/suggestion (primarily puntuation)
for you to ponder.  As poetry is ultimately a person endeavor, please don't feel you must use any of my suggestions.  

I have enjoyed this very much.

Fine writing!




The beauty of the country night
is undiminished by the blight
of light pollution from the town.>>>>I like the rhymes in this

The star besprinkled midnight blue{.}(,)
A backcloth (unfolds) for a moon that’s{’} new
to men in all its glory shown.>>>>This is not a complete thought - poetry doesn’t have to be written grammatically correct - it’s just I find it more meaningful if it is.  So I’m going to suggest (but you don’t have to take) adding a verb (in blue)

The city dwellers do not see
the sky in all its finery{.}(,)
Because the city wears a crown

of neon advertising signs
and sodium lamps that stretch in lines.
That gentle starlight {has}(is) outshone.

The countryman wants none of this.
He much prefers the moonlight’s kiss
to find his way to his hearthstone.>>>>wonderful strophe

The glaring {of} electric light
steals {all} the magic from the night
and lover’s dreams remain unknown.>>>>lovely stanza

Now when I take my evening stroll
I find it soothing to my soul.
My lady moon {is} smil(es){ing} down

and {she will} keep(s) me company.
There is no cost(,) her light is free.
I cannot claim it for my own.

The silver lamp that lights the sky
is shared by all men equally.
The goddess that {all} men have known

Since {men}(he) first looked up to the sky
and saw her there and wondered why.
The moon her lambent light has shown.

The sun that lights the earth by day
is soft reflected in her ray{.}(,)
So darkness may be overthrown.

The townsfolk have my sympathy
because they never get to see
the night when lit by stars alone.

Pinpoints of light that hang in space
oblivious of the human race{.}(,)
Like silver coins that have been thrown

with wild abandon by a hand(.)
Who cares no whit where they might land?>>>>is this line right?
like seeds broadcast as they are sown.

I walk beneath the sky at night
and satisfy my appetite
for beauty though I walk alone.>>>>wonderful ending



Michelle