Senryu, Japanese form: 5-7-5 or less Options

[JustDaniel]

Senryu is a short form of poetry identical in construction to haiku: (three lines with 17 or fewer syllables with a cut after the first or second line forming two related snapshots of an experience of reality), but is generally about human foibles, while haiku references nature. Senryu need not include a kigo, or season word, like haiku (though it seems that much of modern English haiku tends toward senryu; that is, unlike traditional Japanese haiku, it may not necessarily adhere to the 5-7-5 syllable form which may be suitable in Japanese, but which tends to produce long or stilted language in English). A simple rule seems to be, Take a deep breath and read all three lines... cut and all.

I'll offer a couple of examples of my own, however inadequate. Perhaps someone with greater stature would like to add greater insight to this thread.

How I love thee
with breadth, length, depth and height…
but who counts the days?

© MLee Dickens'son 11 Oct 2004


feeling seventeen
your heart pounds out senryu;
you just can’t beat it

© MLee Dickens'son 14 Feb 2004

By the way, I understand that they're often with a bit of humor, so I don't think I'm desecrating the form if I wink a bit.

sharin' a bit o' de Light, Daniel  

[JustDaniel]

Raceway tapes would be sounds from a race track:  racing cars or motorcycles... as though they were flying through the space between your property and your neighbor's.  That ought bring him out to see who's disturbin' his power toolin'!

I'll be back to comment on your SUPERB senryu, Grace...

we're off to see Ray

deLightingly, Daniel