Senryu, Japanese form: 5-7-5 or less Options

[JustDaniel]

Senryu is a short form of poetry identical in construction to haiku: (three lines with 17 or fewer syllables with a cut after the first or second line forming two related snapshots of an experience of reality), but is generally about human foibles, while haiku references nature. Senryu need not include a kigo, or season word, like haiku (though it seems that much of modern English haiku tends toward senryu; that is, unlike traditional Japanese haiku, it may not necessarily adhere to the 5-7-5 syllable form which may be suitable in Japanese, but which tends to produce long or stilted language in English). A simple rule seems to be, Take a deep breath and read all three lines... cut and all.

I'll offer a couple of examples of my own, however inadequate. Perhaps someone with greater stature would like to add greater insight to this thread.

How I love thee
with breadth, length, depth and height…
but who counts the days?

© MLee Dickens'son 11 Oct 2004


feeling seventeen
your heart pounds out senryu;
you just can’t beat it

© MLee Dickens'son 14 Feb 2004

By the way, I understand that they're often with a bit of humor, so I don't think I'm desecrating the form if I wink a bit.

sharin' a bit o' de Light, Daniel  

[JustDaniel]

I know, Grace.  Just practicin' with my epee on ya!

... and did you not see the allusion to "Londonderry Air"  Do I have to write about the London Dairy air to get your attention? ... or were you just snubbing your Brit nose at this Yankee's thoughts?  :read:

splashing at the air
epeeing tirelessly;
stress relieved

streaming away Lightly, Daniel  :sun: