 Separation (III) |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse
 Nov 12 15, 22:25
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 Nomad  Posts: 6 Joined: 7-November 15 Member No.: 5,289 Real Name: Adam Hughes Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Eira  |
Tonight my prayers
are a house built with the bones of birds. Tonight the stars roar their gravity somewhere beyond our ears. Tonight the wind is louder than God has ever been. I never see the dew fall but every new sunrise my feet are wet. |
  
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Nov 13 15, 18:37
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Babylonian Posts: 78 Joined: 13-November 15 Member No.: 5,294 Real Name: Krista van der Steen Writer of: Poetry |
I always enjoy your work.
This poem captures, rather vulnerably, the fragility of life and how we have little control. Prayers built of bones of birds. Stars that are too far to reach. The power of nature that can intimidate and even something inconsequential like dew that can affect us. I love the lost connection here, the scary new beginning. Above all, it is about realisation and the metaphors you used for this, in combination with your title, come across wonderfully well. |
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Adhamh MacAodh Separation (III) Nov 12 15, 22:25 
K.S. Lenk I read this poem before you edited it.
I miss the ... Nov 13 15, 13:26 Adhamh MacAodh Hi Krista, good to see you here. I think you'r... Nov 13 15, 13:38 Eisa Tonight my prayers
are a house built
with the bone... Nov 15 15, 19:02 
Eisa I'm back to have another look at this. It is t... Nov 16 15, 18:46 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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