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> 4th March 2009
Guest_Ishmael_*
post Jun 12 09, 09:50
Post #1





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And in the nights to come the sky will empty
The stars will leave the mourning to rusted moons
Lowering their eyes and coughing as they go
In early twilights breezes glowing guilty
Fiddle with leaves and all the brittle coffins
Lie scattered beneath a single trembling bough

Forget the lies of a vengeance still to come
Whispered by plumes that rise in fretful ribbons
Nothing stirs the covens they stand without shame
Consumptive figures of fun with all their claws
Raking the flaccid clouds and when the rains
Do fall the witches gather them up for oils

And who’s to say when the urge might strike again
To leave the gate for misery’s herds ajar
So lie right here my peach where the husks are blown
And lonely ghosts can watch us night after night
Damping down the dust with trickles of nectar
Let ravens scrape the sky with their broken wit
 
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Guest_Ishmael_*
post Jun 16 09, 02:40
Post #2





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Leo, thanks for taking the time again. I certainly don't want to drive readers away, especially ones as astute as you seem to be. At the same time, I didn't want to put in an explanatory note because I feel a poem should be able to stand on its own, since that is how it would be published. Obviously I still have a way to go with this piece. Thanks again for your critiques. You've given me plenty to think about.
 
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