4th March 2009 Options

[Guest_Ishmael_*]

And in the nights to come the sky will empty
The stars will leave the mourning to rusted moons
Lowering their eyes and coughing as they go
In early twilights breezes glowing guilty
Fiddle with leaves and all the brittle coffins
Lie scattered beneath a single trembling bough

Forget the lies of a vengeance still to come
Whispered by plumes that rise in fretful ribbons
Nothing stirs the covens they stand without shame
Consumptive figures of fun with all their claws
Raking the flaccid clouds and when the rains
Do fall the witches gather them up for oils

And who’s to say when the urge might strike again
To leave the gate for misery’s herds ajar
So lie right here my peach where the husks are blown
And lonely ghosts can watch us night after night
Damping down the dust with trickles of nectar
Let ravens scrape the sky with their broken wit

[Guest_Ishmael_*]

Thanks for your comments guys. This poem's been a real juggling act for me. I desperately want to keep all punctuation out of it for several reasons but I also don't want to alienate readers. I don't know if you guys picked up on the significance of the title but that was meant as a kind of key to help unlock some of the imagery. It might only work for Australian readers though. It's the date that the recent bushfires were finally brought under control.

Leo, you're quite right with your critique. Do you have any suggestions as to how I might leave extra signposts without bringing in punctuation?