Nightwalkers, triplet poetry Options

[Guest__*]

Nightwalker

The beauty of the country night
is undiminished by the blight
of light pollution from the town.

The star besprinkled midnight blue.
A backcloth for a moon that’s’ new
to men in all its glory shown.

The city dwellers do not see
the sky in all its finery.
Because the city wears a crown

of neon advertising signs
and sodium lamps that stretch in lines.
That gentle starlight has outshone.

The countryman wants none of this.
He much prefers the moonlight’s kiss
to find his way to his hearthstone.

The glaring of electric light
steals all the magic from the night
and lover’s dreams remain unknown.

Now when I take my evening stroll
I find it soothing to my soul.
My lady moon is smiling down

and she will keep me company.
There is no cost her light is free.
I cannot claim it for my own.

The silver lamp that lights the sky
is shared by all men equally.
The goddess that all men have known

Since men first looked up to the sky
and saw her there and wondered why.
The moon her lambent light has shown.

The sun that lights the earth by day
is soft reflected in her ray.
So darkness may be overthrown.

The townsfolk have my sympathy
because they never get to see
the night when lit by stars alone.

Pinpoints of light that hang in space
oblivious of the human race.
Like silver coins that have been thrown

with wild abandon by a hand
Who cares no whit where they might land?
like seeds broadcast as they are sown.

I walk beneath the sky at night
and satisfy my appetite
for beauty though I walk alone.

 :talktohand:

[Aphrodite]

Nightwalker

The beauty of the country night
is undiminished by the blight
of light pollution from the town.

The star besprinkled midnight blue.
A backcloth for a moon that’s’ new
to men in all its glory shown.

The city dwellers do not see
the sky in all its finery.
Because the city wears a crown

of neon advertising signs
and sodium lamps that stretch in lines.
That gentle starlight has outshone.

The countryman wants none of this.
He much prefers the moonlight’s kiss
to find his way to his hearthstone.

The glaring of electric light
steals all the magic from the night
and lover’s dreams remain unknown.

Now when I take my evening stroll
I find it soothing to my soul.
My lady moon is smiling down

and she will keep me company.
There is no cost her light is free.
I cannot claim it for my own.

The silver lamp that lights the sky
is shared by all men equally.
The goddess that all men have known

Since men first looked up to the sky
and saw her there and wondered why.
The moon her lambent light has shown.

The sun that lights the earth by day
is soft reflected in her ray.
So darkness may be overthrown.

The townsfolk have my sympathy
because they never get to see
the night when lit by stars alone.

Pinpoints of light that hang in space
oblivious of the human race.
Like silver coins that have been thrown

with wild abandon by a hand
Who cares no whit where they might land?
like seeds broadcast as they are sown.

I walk beneath the sky at night
and satisfy my appetite
for beauty though I walk alone.

 

Hello Poeticpiers~

I am delighted to meet you and read your beautiful poem.

I really don't have much to nit as I found the flow, as well as tonality of your piece to be absolutely "glowing."

Your expression creates a very soothing and ethereal look into the mystique of the moon, and ends with a bittersweet tone, only adding to the wonder.  

Thanks, for sharing this treasure.

Take care~


Lindi

[Morgan le Fay]

Hi Piers!

It's good to see you posting here!
This was beautiful!  You have captured me in veil's of moonbeams.  A magical moonlight stroll.

Morgan le Fay
Mistress of Magic

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi P!  :grinning:

This is a very smooth, rhythmic piece with not much for us to nit (which is a good thing)!! :pharoah2

You've captured my imagination and the magical tones work very well here with your rhyme schemes sprinkled throughout!  :read:

I love looking at the moon and the vibes one gets if they look for them!  :pumpkin:

I've just a few ideas below.

Cheers!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

The beauty of the country night
is undiminished by the blight
of light pollution from the town.

Great opening!

The star besprinkled midnight blue.
A backcloth for a moon that’s’ new
to men in all its glory shown.

Here I would add a semi-colon in L1 instead of endstop. You do not need that extra ' after "that's" as well.

The city dwellers do not see
the sky in all its finery.
Because the city wears a crown

of neon advertising signs
and sodium lamps that stretch in lines.
That gentle starlight has outshone.

NICE movement between stanzas!  :read:

The countryman wants none of this.
He much prefers the moonlight’s kiss
to find his way to his hearthstone.

The glaring of electric light
steals all the magic from the night
and lover’s dreams remain unknown.
Again - nice transition here!

Now when I take my evening stroll
I find it soothing to my soul.
My lady moon is smiling down

and she will keep me company.
There is no cost her light is free.
I cannot claim it for my own.

The silver lamp that lights the sky
is shared by all men equally.
The goddess that all men have known

Since men first looked up to the sky
and saw her there and wondered why.
The moon her lambent light has shown.
Small 's' in Since (L1) add semi-comlon after why? Comma after moon for a pause? You could also do an ellipse after shown to continue int obnext stanza?

The sun that lights the earth by day
is soft reflected in her ray.
So darkness may be overthrown.
Semi-colon after ray OR delete the word So?

The townsfolk have my sympathy
because they never get to see
the night when lit by stars alone.

Pinpoints of light that hang in space
oblivious of the human race.
Like silver coins that have been thrown

with wild abandon by a hand
Who cares no whit where they might land?
like seeds broadcast as they are sown.
ellipse after hand? Capital L in like?

I walk beneath the sky at night
and satisfy my appetite
for beauty though I walk alone.

Lastly - perhaps you could add an ellipse after the word beauty ,... just to give that pause effect for impact at the end?

[Cybele]

The glaring of electric light
steals all the magic from the night

Welcome Poeticpiers

These two lines beautifully constructed, sum up the whole poem for me. I live deep in the English countryside and know exactly what you mean here. A great piece, P.  No crits from me but I go with Cleo's suggestion about an ellipse after beauty in the last line.

Congratulations

Cheers

Grace

[Michelle]

Hi poetpiers,

this poem is very lovely.
I really like your rhyme scheme.
The flow is very good
and the message,
one that I agree completely with.

I've gone through and offered comment/suggestion (primarily puntuation)
for you to ponder.  As poetry is ultimately a person endeavor, please don't feel you must use any of my suggestions.  

I have enjoyed this very much.

Fine writing!




The beauty of the country night
is undiminished by the blight
of light pollution from the town.>>>>I like the rhymes in this

The star besprinkled midnight blue{.}(,)
A backcloth (unfolds) for a moon that’s{’} new
to men in all its glory shown.>>>>This is not a complete thought - poetry doesn’t have to be written grammatically correct - it’s just I find it more meaningful if it is.  So I’m going to suggest (but you don’t have to take) adding a verb (in blue)

The city dwellers do not see
the sky in all its finery{.}(,)
Because the city wears a crown

of neon advertising signs
and sodium lamps that stretch in lines.
That gentle starlight {has}(is) outshone.

The countryman wants none of this.
He much prefers the moonlight’s kiss
to find his way to his hearthstone.>>>>wonderful strophe

The glaring {of} electric light
steals {all} the magic from the night
and lover’s dreams remain unknown.>>>>lovely stanza

Now when I take my evening stroll
I find it soothing to my soul.
My lady moon {is} smil(es){ing} down

and {she will} keep(s) me company.
There is no cost(,) her light is free.
I cannot claim it for my own.

The silver lamp that lights the sky
is shared by all men equally.
The goddess that {all} men have known

Since {men}(he) first looked up to the sky
and saw her there and wondered why.
The moon her lambent light has shown.

The sun that lights the earth by day
is soft reflected in her ray{.}(,)
So darkness may be overthrown.

The townsfolk have my sympathy
because they never get to see
the night when lit by stars alone.

Pinpoints of light that hang in space
oblivious of the human race{.}(,)
Like silver coins that have been thrown

with wild abandon by a hand(.)
Who cares no whit where they might land?>>>>is this line right?
like seeds broadcast as they are sown.

I walk beneath the sky at night
and satisfy my appetite
for beauty though I walk alone.>>>>wonderful ending



Michelle

[Athena]

Hi Poet,

Enjoyed reading your poem.  I like the rhythm and rhyme scheme throughout and the nice creative images in your words.

However, I do agree with Lori's assessment and suggestions.  Otherwise, it's simply a good read.

Thanks for sharing,

Blessings,
Athena