I love you

in your ludicrous underwear,

diapers and socks notwithstanding;

half-moon specs

awry on the tip of your nose,

add just the right touch

to that bib with blue bears in rows.



I love

your mortal guise

-or the Prince in a Beast’s disguise-

and wince with compassion

for my elderly nurseling.



Perhaps

each Rose that turned to gall

blossomed from a paradox of parts.

Crimson petals

....... soft as Indian silk

..............fade

.....................and dart away…


Beauty also unrobed the Beast.
The charm was broken and a handsome Prince
stood before her.



Except, you’re a clumsy prince

....... who subsists

..............only

.....................in my desolate heart.


© Sylvia Evelyn, Buenos Aires, Argentina. 2013

Note: Changed lonesome to desolate in last line.

I really loved the entire poem but these lines stand out for me, Sylvia. Great poem.

Sergio

A tremendously moving poem, Syl, which stirred up all kinds of emotions for me. It's very well written and I love the interspersed bits & pieces.

I'll have to come back to this - I see nothing to nit at the moment.

Hugs
Snow

Thank you very much, Sergio, for your encouraging words. I'm glad you like the whole poem.
Cheers,
Syl***

Thank you, Eisa. I think I was feeling emotional after sharing time with hubby.
I tend to remember the good (and some bad) times, and wonder why things should turn out like this.

Afterwards, I mean. While I'm with him I'm too busy wiping his fingers and mouth, as well as being amazed at his tremendous appetite!

I'm so terribly busy planning our move to Patagonia! I finally got LAN CHILE airline to accept him on a flight. But it meant filling in so many forms and getting certificates...oh my! And even at the last moment, if stewards think he's misbehaving or not looking well, they can still ask us to get off the plane. Politely, I hope.

And at check-in I'll have to sign a form releasing the airline of any responsibility should Carlos have a health problem during the 2-hour flight.
He's quite stable nowadays, but who knows?

Wish us luck and thanks for visiting,
hugs, Syl***

Hi Sylvia,

A moving poem with just the right touch of emotion to draw on the reader's own imagery.

I would remove the comma after half-moon specs,

I think you need to delete the e on 'nurseling' as well.

I enjoyed the alliteration of S3, and believe you do not need to capitalize the word: rose.

If you are not opposed to this being so personal, would you consider my nom for the Nov IBPC? I'll post it over there now and let you decide. However, for this month, you will need to let me know before end of this month.

Enjoyed the read!
~Cleo

The more I read this one the more it draws me in. Very strong writing.

Sergio

Thank you so much, Lori, for the nom. I don't mind it's being personal, most of my writings are.

I'll remove the comma, yep!

"Nurseling" can be with or without the 'e'. Just checked!

I like to capitalize names that are symbols for something, such as Rose.

What I would appreciate is another word for "lonesome" at the end. It's a clichè, but I was too tired to come up with something better.

Hugs and another tx!
Syl***

Thanks again, Sergio. You lift my spirits.
I love being encouraged.
Syl***

Hi Sylvia,

YAY! Glad you approve the nod! The poignant ones always linger for me as does this lovely poem.

As for a sub for lonesome: unaccompanied, companionless, desolate, empty, isolated, unattended, secluded

in my desolate heart...

I'll ponder further!
Cheers,
~Cleo

Hi Syl

I am so pleased this has been nominated. It is exceptionally well written and very moving.

I like Lori's suggestion of 'desolate heart'. It has just the right ring of emotion.

I'm so glad the Chilean Airways will help with Carlos. I am sending all good vibes your way. I'll send an email soon.

Hugs Snow

Thanks so much, Lori and Eisa, for your help!

I'll put 'desolate' right away.

As I've said before, IBPC doesn't prize centered or spaced poems like this one...
I'm worried about the dots showing when you send it, Lori. The formats can go all out of place when opened on another board. Whatever!

I would perhaps re-arrange my poem, aligned on the left. I'm delighted you like it, but wasn't thinking of IBPC when I posted it. What should I do?

Hugs to all,
Syl***

Hi Syl,

I won't send it in with the dots. I put it into WORD and removed one extra space between stanzas. What do you think of it this way (I used the pre tag below):

I love you

in your ludicrous underwear,

diapers and socks notwithstanding;

half-moon specs

awry on the tip of your nose,

add just the right touch

to that bib with blue bears in rows.


I love

your mortal guise

-or the Prince in a Beast’s disguise-

and wince with compassion

for my elderly nurseling.


Perhaps

each Rose that turned to gall

blossomed from a paradox of parts.

Crimson petals

          soft as Indian silk

              fade

                  and dart away . . .


Beauty also unrobed the Beast.
The charm was broken and a handsome Prince
stood before her. 


Except, you’re a clumsy prince

         who subsists 

               only 

                    in my desolate heart.


© Sylvia Evelyn, Buenos Aires, Argentina. 2013

Is the spacing good or shall I tweak further? Also, do you want me to send in with your name as Sylvia Evelyn, or Sylvia Maclagan?
Cheers!
~Cleo

Hi Syl,

Don't get over here much but I'm glad I did. A beautiful and poignant soliloquy and loving tribute to your husband. Thank you for sharing that love and more than a few tears with us.

Congratulations on the nomination; it's well deserved.

The only thing I saw which you might consider changing is in line 5:



Hope the trip to Patagonia goes well.

Larry

Oh good catch Larry. Syl asked me to add that change.

Cheers,
~Cleo

Hi Larry,
I'm delighted that you came over to view some FV! Any words from you are always welcome.
The trip to Patagonia went very well indeed. Carlos seemed to remember planes, he always loved flying. We flew to many places together, ages ago.

I spent today texting back and forth with my daughter, there's always stuff one forgets to print out, you know, lists, etc.

Your eagle eye caught that "the", thanks so much! Many eyes are needed.

I hope you folks from Hermes come over more often. You can help with words, alliterations, whatever! I love to read your poems, Larry. And I suggest some of you do a little nominating, look how Wally got a prize in IBPC!
When I have time (I'm moving south also), I'll be visiting you sonneteers. Hmmm...

Cheers,
Syl***

Dear Syl, - I came late to this feast of a poem - Others have already said how outstanding it is, but I would like to testify to its emotional truth and strength - they shine through. We, both of us, perceive, and then seek to love 'our princes' under the evil spell cast by this disease.
Thank you for this expression of ongoing love.
Hugs,
Leo

Oh my, Leo, true love is a wonderful thing, but how it makes one suffer when 'evil spells' are cast on us. However much we hug and kiss our frogs...LOL...they'll never revert to true princes...only in our hearts.

And now the bad news is that Carlos had a fall last week, though fortunately did not break any bones, such as his hip. Nonetheless, it's been a setback. At the moment, he's forgotten how to use his cutlery, which he was managing very well. He's still delighted to see me and eat the goodies I take him, but he soon begins to ramble and lose touch with reality. He was doing so well!!

But this is a poetry forum. I'll stop here. Many thanks for your comments. And I hope to see some more of your own poetry soon. Yep!

Hugs, Syl***

Hi Syl,

I came back to have another read of this (one of my favourites) and have just read about Carlos's fall, I am so sorry to hear about this. Carlos has come through so many things in the past that I'm sure he will again, it's just so worrying at the time.

I hope you are settling well in your new home. I must write soon - so much going on.

Thinking of you
hugs
Snow

Thank you, Eira, for your good vibes, sent so long ago.

Lots of water has flowed under the bridge since then.

Last night we had our first snowfall...wow...it was inspiring to see the beauty of the trees and bushes around my house and area.

Large snowflakes fell all afternoon. Memories of my childhood in another area of Patagonia. Good thing I was reared in this province; no trouble adapting to snow!! LOL.

All day a poem was wandering around in my mind, except I didn't have my wee notebook with me. Moving tends to make one forget certain habits. So busy getting my house in order...then wondering where I put some clothes, or even hankies!!!

Inspiration has been nil till today's snow. With Carlos's recent crisis, my mind didn't wander off at all. I'm calmer now and he's in good care...but...my thoughts with regard to him are not for this forum, unless I can turn them into poetry.

Hugs to all, Syl***