Leo, hmmm quite risqué, eh. Very wonderfully descriptive, I could picture it very well. You need to go edit your input title from Dady to daddy. I think you missed a period in the first sentence. The only big nit I have is the color you used, very hard on these old eyes.
Steve
Good morning Steve. and thank you for looking in to read this story. You are absolutely right about the input title - I have poked around in the works, but can find no way to change it - so, to my shame, it will have to remain for all to see. I have changed the colour/color to a darkish grey - hope that this change will help those who may, or may not, follow.
Risque'? Possibly - but I was raised without a father - and have noticed how many girls, (and even grown women) treat their fathers rather like boyfriends - or in some cases, like lovers.
One can't help but wonder - and so - I did.
Luv,
Leo
Leo, If you clcik on edit then click on full edit it will open the page with the title at the very top and you can change it there, i went ahead and changed it for you. The color change is definitly better for me anyways....lol. I can remember my girls sitting in my lap up until they turned about eight or nine then they proclaimed they were too old for that. But now I have a granddaughter that will sit there for a few more years anyway...lol.
Steve
Bless you Steve! I am something of a Luddite about the byways of computer technology -
Our older granddaughter, now aged twenty, is away at University - but the eleven-year-old is still perfectly happy to have a cuddle - so Grandpa is still needed.
Thanks,
Leo
Hi Leo,
This is good work. I will come back and go over it more carefully when I have time.
Your descriptive work is wonderful. I have much to learn about that. Critics always want more description and background in my stories. I am afraid I fail to provide the wonderful description you are so good at. Perhaps my style is so different it would be ludicrous to attempt to write like you do. I am tempted to try anyway.
I would suggest moving this story to either Critique Circle or Scribophile. MM is great for poems but the short stories seem to draw few critiques.
I have stopped posting stories on MM for that reason but it is the best site for poems.
Google Critiique Circle or Scribophile and you will find them.
Vess
Good Morning Vess - I did reply earlier, but my usual technical ineptitude has struck me down again; and I see that my reply has disappeared into a pot-hole on the Super-Highway. I thank you for taking the trouble to read, 'Daddy's Girl', and for your very generous crit! As you imply, posting short stories on MM is not unlike putting ones typescript into a bottle, and casting it into the Atlantic.
Thank you too, for pointing me in the direction of Critique Circle - I have taken your advice, and joined.
I am now standing in line in the, 'Newbies Queue' - awaiting my turn to be admitted for critique.
Leo
Hi Leo,
You will find the critics of your short stories helpful on cc. It is well designed to del with short stories and there are good critics there.
Vess
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