Printable Version of Topic

Click here to view this topic in its original format

Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011 _ Last Rest

Posted by: ohsteve May 10 10, 10:05

Last Rest

Go I said to the fish,
as he lingered that few seconds
resting lightly in my palm.
I hunger not for your flesh.

Run little one I whispered to the rabbit
as I opened the cage that had
entrapped him. I need not your warm fur.

Fly free I laughed loudly
at a secret of swallows, I had scattered
with joy in the sound of my voice.
I need not your feathers to fly through
the heavens, nor your songs to sing of praise.

Sleep long and deep my son came the voice
as my eyes closed. You need not carry the burden
of the world upon you. It is in my hands now.

10 May 2010
© Steve Pray

Posted by: Larry May 10 10, 15:07

Hi Steve,

No crits here; just praise for this thing of beauty you wanted to share with us here.

Thanks,
Larry

Posted by: ohsteve May 11 10, 12:19

Larry, thanks for your kind words and for reading, I missed putting in the italics and the bold... puts just a litlle different stress on the words. I am glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood May 11 10, 17:08

Hi Steve,

I do so agree with Larry!!!

Very fine poem!!!!!

Peggy

Posted by: ohsteve May 12 10, 15:46

Peggy, thanks for reading and your kind thoughts.
Steve

Posted by: Siren May 13 10, 19:35

Hey Steve,

You have no idea how much I've missed reading your work, and this one is impeccable in everyway.

Amazing metaphor, it's tightened up and I wont change a thing.

lovely

dani

Posted by: anaisa May 13 10, 21:17

Hi Steve,

I liked this one too. How the cycle
of loving treatment can be displayed
in the natural world, and how we also can
receive it. That's my take on it, anyway.
Lovely!

Karen

Posted by: ohsteve May 14 10, 19:29

Karen, Thank you for reading and the kind words. Love and beauty are natural things.

Posted by: Eisa May 15 10, 18:54

Hey Steve - this is very profound! Great writing - I enjoyed this very much. I can't see anything I'd change. Well written.

Snow

Posted by: ohsteve May 16 10, 19:05

Eira, thanks for the kind words and for reading, I am so glad that so many of you have liked this one.

Steve

Posted by: saore Aug 15 10, 11:33

very nice poem Steve, spiritual. I liked it very much.

Sergio