Revision
Tell-Tale Fingerprints
Hush-a-bye
… don’t cry darling.
I bustle, scrubbing
caked baked bean sauce
from last night’s plates
packed into the sink.
Baby’s still wailing.
The ironing tower tumbles
onto paw-printed floor
mop’s mislaid -- I must
spick and span my domain.
Baby’s howling now.
Perhaps it’s a virus
… I must contact help line,
but first I’ll clean the windows, in case
yesterday’s fingerprints are spotted
… clear spiders from their webs.
Stop shrieking baby!
I’ve no time for your games.
Damn your big baby eyes!
I can’t resist sneaking a peak
at your face any longer.
I’ll check security
… messages … Face Book.
Aaaw! … Mama loves to play
games with her baby.
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Original
Baby’s crying.
Busy hands scrub
caked baked bean sauce
from last night’s dishes
cramming the sink.
Hush baby … don’t cry.
The ironing tower tumbles
onto paw-printed floor
mop’s mislaid --
I must clean up my domain.
Oh baby’s still crying.
Is it a virus?
… I’ll contact help line,
but first I’ll clean the windows, in case
yesterday’s fingerprints are spotted;
clear the spiders from their webs.
Oh stop crying baby! I’ve no time for your games.
Damn big baby eyes!
I can’t resist a peep at your face any longer.
I’ll check security … messages … Face Book … games.
Mmm ... Mama loves to play with her baby.
Hi Eira -
I don't know whether to laugh or cry! I thought this was about an overwhelmed mother but no...the computer! I find myself in the very same situation. I like your revisions and would leave it as it is. Very well written and entertaining.
HA. You really fooled me, Snow! I was thinking it was some kind of dark humour, even began to get angry....LOL...
Very good, a change from your usual poetry. I like it!!
Congrats, Syl***
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