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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Exhibition Prior to 2006 _ To Say Goodbye

Posted by: Brahms Aug 31 03, 22:35

Yes, your rhythm and length paint the tone very well,
reminding me of experiences with feelings drawn over
time, at least that's what I guess of others.

Brahms

Posted by: Zeus² Aug 31 03, 20:30



  To Say Goodbye
[stanza breaks are for you to catch your breath]
   

It’s easy sometimes,
no ties, no emotions
carefree
no bonding, or love
a casual liaison
friendship

But…
it’s difficult, when
you are in love…

[ it becomes a
cliché driven work of art]


words won’t come,
pent up feelings
begin to emerge,
a bit of anger
frustration
downhill
the pits
self doubt

debauched
dreams vanquished
full of sorrow
breaking up
I’m numb
hate for sure
denial
remorse – none
compassion, forget it,

desolate
unforgiving
life shattered
never see you again
always longing,
change of mind
indifference
living hell

gut wrenching
tears…of course,
pity – definitely,
far away look
totally distraught
will I go on
all is lost
coming apart

is it someone else
why me, naturally,
despair forever
have sinned
ruined
disillusioned
no consolation
forlorn
heartbroken
forgive me
tales of woe

sorry
rock bottom
yet……
there is absolution…..
we can still
e-mail each other.
\°°/
rasp.gif


Posted by: Sep 1 03, 01:24

Dear Zeus

Boo-hoo-ha-ha-ha .....

Only one tiny crit :

there is absolution…..
we can still                     (lose the "but")
e-mail each other.

Posted by: JustDaniel Sep 1 03, 14:27

. . . but Larry, if you intend to continue to sit on that stupid, pretentious throne, you'll NEVER lose the butt!

Lightly, Daniel  :sun:

Posted by: Zeus² Sep 2 03, 13:44

Brahms,
guess we have all been there.
Was fun to do.
Larry

Posted by: Zeus² Sep 2 03, 13:46

Alan,
Sounds familiar, heh, and no more if's ands or butts. begone.
Glad you enjoyed.
Larry

Posted by: Zeus² Sep 2 03, 13:48

Just,
will leave it loooooong enough to butt the stanza.
Thanks boss.
Z, larry

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