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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms _ 31st Oct

Posted by: Terocon101 Oct 31 07, 20:16

midnight stroll
a gust of leaves
throws stalking shadows

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Nov 1 07, 05:27

Ooh Terry,

This is perfect for Hallow's Eve!

One shouldn't go out after midnight then, else they'll meet a shadowy stalker!

No nits - enjoyed!
~Cleo

Posted by: ace Nov 1 07, 13:45

QUOTE (Terocon101 @ Oct 31 07, 20:16 )

midnight stroll
a gust of leaves
throws stalking shadows

Really nice and effective. Is there a name for the 3-4-5 sequence? I like "short line verse".

ace

Posted by: Terocon101 Nov 1 07, 21:23

Hi Cleo,

Thanks for your reaction.

LOL, hope I didnt scare you.

Best Wishes !!!

.

Posted by: Terocon101 Nov 1 07, 21:51

Hi Ace,

Nice to meet you.

The form is "western haiku" I suppose. Syllable count is less important than the (5-7-5)traditional Japanese haiku, although less than 17(usually 12 or so) is the norm.

My effort is not traditional at all, although it contains a kigo(ref to season) ie. "a gust of leaves" suggests Autumn, (open to interpretation) it mentions a human act 'midnight stroll' traditionally that means it's a senyru.

Sorry if I've bored you, this was really just a fun piece for Holloween but I could talk about this form till Christmas, even though I'm only a newbie to the art.

Delighted you enjoyed, looking forward to dealing with you again and I hope you enjoy the site and its many brilliant inhabitants.

Best Wishes.

.

Posted by: Sekhmet Mar 1 09, 04:33

Hello Terocon - A nice shiver down the back of the neck!
I am working to learn about, 'short form' - and yours is something new to think about!
Leo

Posted by: Psyche Mar 2 09, 10:27

Hi there Terry!

I thought I was going to see another of Leo's posts....my mistake, I read the wrong click...LOL...But I'm glad I did, this 3-4-5 piece is interesting, especially as it's a Halloween reflection. Scary!!!

IMHO, I don't think it can be a Haiku or Senryu, because the difference in syllable count in the English form is that we count the sylls in the traditional English way for any form, whereas the Japanese have another way of counting syllables, due to language/grammar rules in Japanese.

Meaning that the English variation should have the 5-7-5 count according to our English way of counting. We do what we can! Hope I'm making some sense....LOL...

I love this short form, Terry, especially the 'kigo', even if we might disagree on the other bit. Bring on more!

Hugs, Syl***