As I wear
favorite boots,
jeans and sweater,

as gloved hands hold
this hot, steamy mug in
quick change of weather,

there is one winter wish
in my heart that is found,
one winter wish that

gleefully resounds,

Let it snow! Let it snow!
Let it cover the ground.

Hi again Orion!

This one reminds me of when my kids were little! LOL Couldn't wait to get out there and play in the snow!

Only one suggestion....

there is one winter wish
in my heart that is found,
one winter wish that

Maybe...

there is one winter wish
in my heart that I've found,
one winter wish that

Let it snow!...

Cathy

Hi Orion!

I like the freshness of this poem. No grand vocabulary, just the thoughts & memories that come to mind, deftly & synthetically expressed.

Over here in Argentina, we're groaning with 32ºC, so it's doubly cool to read your lines!!

Let me make some suggestions, just for the sake of it. I don't believe you need really change anything, so take or toss!




I especially appreciate the way you've used words that rhyme unobstrusively, such as sweater-weather, sound-resounds-ground.

Cheers,
Syl ***

Hello Orion~

I also found the poem simple, clear and to the point. No frills or fancies, just chills :)

Well done. You have some suggestions. Lets see what you think?

PP

Ok -- as long as you keep the snow on your side of the street. lolol I only wish for snow from one week before Christmas until one week after new year. . .then I'm done. *smile* But for those of you who are snow fans, winter sports enthusiasts. . .I understand.

You've gotten some good ideas on restructuring syntax for an easier flow. . .will look forward to seeing a revision.

~Rene~

Oh you are singing my song... Sing it loud, sing it strong... Let it snow! SNOW.... I miss he snow so much I could cry (and if I weren't in Florida, I might cry snow...) LOL

This is adorable. I like the beat, adds that lyrical, musical tone where I found a song stirring in my head... and was tickled to read the ending...

Hugs, Liz

Hi Jan.

Boy am I glad Liz commented - as I hadn't seen this lovely vision! I too am wishing for some snow! We just put up our outside holiday lights and it just isn't quite the same without a blanket of snow.

Here is a slightly different approach on your festively 'warm' poem to ponder.

Cheers
~Cleo

P.S. Let me know when you get some snow!

QUOTE

As I wear
favorite boots,
jeans and sweater,

In my snuggly boots,
favorite jeans and sweater,

QUOTE

as gloved hands hold
this hot, steamy mug in
{quick} [swift] change of weather,

QUOTE

there is one winter wish
in my heart that is found,
one winter wish that

gleefully resounds,

Above, I would break it this way:
there is one winter wish
in my heart that is found...

one winter wish that
gleefully resounds,


Let it snow! Let it snow!
Let it {cover} [blanket] the ground.

Hi Orion

I loved reading this one's fresh simplicity. No snow here yet -- how about you? You've been given a host of suggestions, so I'll add a few more, before you decide.



Look forward to your revision.

Snow

Hey,

Yes I like the use of blanket much more in that final line.

Still enjoyed this... and no snow in Florida ... (yet!) Giggle.

Hugs, Liz

Hello Everyone!

I just wanted to express my gratitude for your recommendations to fine tune this winter poem.
Your suggestions have gotten my attention, and I feel that some polishing efforts, which are based on your ideas, will enhance this little ditty. This writer does appreciate your time & effort with helping to make this a better script.

Happy New Year to each of you. :running: We'll be meeting 2007 before we know it!
Jan

Happy New Year to you as well Jan!

See you soon and be well.

~Cleo