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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing
AMETHYST
SIDENOTE: I checked with the National Poetry Foundation and several other poetry instructionals to verify the params for Quatrain Refrain, are not an already recognized form. There isn't any they are aware of. :) ...


Recently, while fiddling with a poem I created a Rhyme and Meter form of poetry that is simular to but not near a Quatern.

Thanks to Lori Kanter, it now has a name, Quatrain Refrain. Pretty much the name captures the qualities of the form.

The basic rules.
5 Stanza a quatrain.
Line Length: either Iambic Pentameter, Iambic Tetrameter, IambicTrimeter.
RHYME SCHEME:
abab
cacA
dbdB
eaeA2
fbfB2



The poem is made up of 5 Quatrains. The first Stanza is your foundation stanza. Each proceeding it's ending line is the sequenced line of the first stanza.

Example.

Sojourn--Quatrain Refrain

A candle quivers on the sill,
inviting all who happen by.
Although so many pass at will,
the doorknob still has not been tried.

At dusk, the hearth is kindled bright,
a pot of coffee freshly filled,
and biscuits baked. Her wick ignites;
a candle quivers on the sill.

She sits and stares, as shadows dance
into the black of midnight sky,
in hopes her flicker will entrance;
inviting all who happen by.

The winter's wind has been no friend
to Beauty Belle, who's fallen ill.
She waits alone till evening's end,
although so many pass at will.

Tonight, not dreams of love's embrace,
her breathless body calm; Belle died.
No candle burns, no hearth, no grace...
the doorknob still has not been tried.
JustDaniel
Thanks for this challenge, Liz.  Finished this the afternoon at specialist's office just before he checked out my legs  Speechless.gif ... for nerve growth.

Hate to punch and run, but headin' out with Eileen to a movie:

No Title Match

A poem wrestled from my tongue
to pin its strains upon the mat,
escapes a brain-lock, still is wrung
‘til Uncle sings a lyric scat.

From ring-side seats (That’s all there are.)
a chant of victory is sung
Huzzah! Huzzah!  My word… the star…
a poem wrestled from my tongue!

I stand; my mouth is open wide…
this started out a friendly chat
‘twixt me and some thing penned inside
to pin its strains upon the mat.

But now it’s framed inside a ring;
these revelers shout, Hey, well-hung!
Poetic icon bends to swing,
escapes a brain-lock, still… is wrung.

Those sinews twist inside my breast;
a battle rages, tit for tat.
They wrangle on; there’ll be no rest
‘til Uncle sings a lyric scat.

© M Lee Dickens’son 13 Jan 2005
AMETHYST
OH WOW DANIEL...

This is absolutely perfection. The skill and talents that has unleashed in each line is by far, admirable work. By poem's end, all I could think was "I wish I wrote that..."  Your work is a decoration in any form-but it exceeds my every hope with this new form. I am standing beside myself and so proud of your talents and gifts.

Excellent poem, and there isn't a nit I could nibble on.

Hugs and admiration, Liz



No Title Match

A poem wrestled from my tongue
to pin its strains upon the mat,
escapes a brain-lock, still is wrung
‘til Uncle sings a lyric scat.

From ring-side seats (That’s all there are.)
a chant of victory is sung
Huzzah! Huzzah!  My word… the star…
a poem wrestled from my tongue!

I stand; my mouth is open wide…
this started out a friendly chat
‘twixt me and some thing penned inside
to pin its strains upon the mat.

But now it’s framed inside a ring;
these revelers shout, Hey, well-hung!
Poetic icon bends to swing,
escapes a brain-lock, still… is wrung.

Those sinews twist inside my breast;
a battle rages, tit for tat.
They wrangle on; there’ll be no rest
‘til Uncle sings a lyric scat.
JustDaniel
Well, WOW back atcha!  Probably the most fun I've had writing in some time with this one.

May I ask your permission to post this form in P-V among the "Non-Traditional Forms"... or you can post it there yourself.

I'd love to see some others try it too!  I definitely want to write more.

deLighting the the challenge, Daniel  :sun:
AMETHYST
Hi Daniel,

Yes, you did an amazing job. The "No Title Match" speaks so natually and is absolutely pleasing to the ear. What I liked most was the makeup of humorous text, but maintains a subtle seriousness that comes through in the tone of each line.

I would love to share the form at PV. You can gladly post the form, but I would like if you made sure to send me the link and also make note that Lori Kantor named the form. wink.gif

Hugs, Liz
JustDaniel
Thank you again, Liz...

and your wish is my command: Poetic-Voices, Non-Traditional Forms: Quatrain Refrain... now merged into Quatrain Refrain under Poetic Forms on Poem Train.

deLighting in sharing and learning, Daniel  sun.gif
AMETHYST
Thank you Daniel,

I will hop over and post to it as well.

Best to you, Liz
Cleo_Serapis
Here I am Liz - my first QR! cloud9.gif

Cheers
~Cleo Pharoah.gif

Shadows

She slinks along through Shadow’s lands
aware of mortals’ mighty claw.
A skilled disciple - dealt their hands,
her destiny; she’ll not withdraw.

Tall torches raze a tepid night,
emblazoned mark of high command.
Amidst the chaos they invite,
she slinks along through Shadow’s lands.

A camouflage of earthen tones
incites a Vulture’s lynching law.
They eat the flesh, discard the bones;
aware of mortals’ mighty claw.

And when their time has come to pass,
unlike her rivals, she withstands
and bathes herself in fodder’s grass…
a skilled disciple - dealt their hands.

The world is changed, no more the prey,
her kindred shadows rise in awe.
A courtyard filled with life’s bouquet -
her destiny; she’ll not withdraw.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 10 Feb 2007
AMETHYST
Hey Lori,


I am beside myself with the excellence in which this is written-The story unfolds smooth and the refrained lines are so well placed I have to intentionally look to see if they've been repeated. Each line is strong and holds an important role in interpretation, lending a duality as they become refrained.

I might say there isn't anything to critique on this, but you might want to place it in either Herme's or Plato's so it can be viewed and possibly nominated for its beautiful use of the form, story but most for the excellence in crafting. :)

Hugs, liz
Cleo_Serapis
Thanks so much Liz. cloud9.gif

I do have this posted for crits in Herme's Homilies and hope to refine it further. It's a fun form which I'll be trying again.

Cheers
~Cleo Artist.gif
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