I'm initiating this thread as a practice thread for HAIKU / SENRYU (simplistically = poems with a 5-7-5 syllable pattern) that are a bit looser than the more SUBLIME pieces that are intended in the Haiku Thread. [ and maybe we need a Senryu thread too?]

Faux-ku ( formerly HeadCase Haiku ) is my own invention. My Light dabbles in wit and hopefully, it has its place too. This form can have seriousness, but it will always be dressed in Light garments.

(Just remember, these threads are for us to PRACTICE in! Let NO ONE suppose that I'm here to be a teacher. I AIN'T! But practicing in short forms I think can improve one's ability in other forms, including Haiku. However, I AM the expert in faux-ku merely because it is my own baby! I'm willing to engage a tutor to bring it to maturity, if one is available. Are you there, Carrie?)


Initial Samples:

high coop

foxy but chicken –
red hens turned into roosters
often high in trees

© Daniel J Ricketts 08 Dec 2002

out to launch

three nautical girls
were malled by low-price salers
during their noon break

© Daniel J Ricketts 08 Dec 2002

loud warning

red sails in sunset
clash crewedly once a blue moon;
mutin’ ears marooned

© Daniel J Ricketts 08 Dec 2002

stocking up down

white sales for son sets
precedent: Martha Stewart
fitted stock preferred

© Daniel J Ricketts 08 Dec 2002

dark fears

Dad's visits scared you?
At bottom had you been switched
to a light sleeper?

© Daniel J Ricketts 08 Dec 2002

sub lime pieces

You've run out?  Blimey!
Just cut up with ripe lemons
to post on our glass

© Daniel J Ricketts 10 Dec 2002

Now it's YOUR turn!

DeLightingly, Daniel 8)

P.S. One other concern... We reserve the responsibility to throw Sue out for several days at a time if she shows signs of addiction!

blown aweigh in Bill-lows

president got cot
with print down... lying still,
sheets pillowed to wind

© M Lee Dickens’ son 23 Sept 2004

a chant’s meeting

throat dried up in knots;
then, about to cry uncle,
had auntie phone  back

Here's the one I promised James with a bit o' hillbilly homor:

LOL Daniel - thank you very much!

And all the others are most chucklesome, too.

Well done with your invention... have looked here before but these are very good. You should start a competition for the best to popularise this new form of yours - (no prizes) - just ku-dos.

Cheers and thanks, James.

Thank you James... and for the ku-dos suggestion too.  LOL

I'll tell you what: you may announce the comptetition yourself, with this as the come-on... if you like.  ( I don't know about doing such things! ):



Lightly, Daniel

Hi Daniel,

You're the king of the faux-ku, but I'll try

Fran

No Con Test

friends tied up in Nots;
argue-meant creatively:
whine comes from sour grapes

Well, Fran, since I've yet to be paid for my faux-ku...

there will be NO-PRO TEST from me!

You've done absolutely perfectly! Now isn't that both fun and stretching?

Here's a follow-up for you:


Looking forward to more from your pen,

deLightedly, Daniel

Hi Daniel... Can put an announcement about a contest if you don't mind judging the results?

If you are really intertested just let me have a closing date and number of entries per person allowed (and any other details you want) and we'll promo it.

James.

Hey, James...

I'll personally judge the contest and offer as a prize, a copy of the new literary journal: Mary Clark's (Poetic-Voices) Impressions... which is due out right soon.  How about three entries per person, and entries do by the close of our "Presidents' Day" Monday, 21 Feb... in time for George Washington's Birthday (Tuesday, 22 Feb) so that I can offer my judgment on his day: "I cannot tell a lie."

In anticipation of the event, let me offer this Revolutionary Retro piece:

FLOG back words

Big George drives 'em far,
chips well, but can’t putt ‘em down;
cannot read a lie!

© Daniel J Ricketts 04 Feb 2005  

slicing sLightly into the rough, Daniel  

Hi Daniel.

I just added three new 'awards' to MM yesterday in our FAQ forum.

In these 'practice and learning threads' here in Karnak we do not award prizes if a member seeks to initiate a challenge/contest, but we can start using one of the new awards if you'd like to pursue a contest here in this tile?

What do you think of this award below?

*New Greek Urn (formerly Mod Choice)

*Graphic provided by
Celtic Castle Designs

This award may be used for internal member challenges. Any member can initiate a challenge, state your rules, and choose a winner.

If you are interested, lay out your specific rules, start and end date and what you will be looking for and I will send a PM to the members.

no faux-ku a ward

if you’d write a wrong
don’t lift a finger to aide;
biting it tinders

© MLee Dickens’son 29 March 2005

milk weed ?

what made cow wander
in from her verdant meadow ?
was it smoking grass?

© Daniel J Ricketts 28 June 2005

Hi Daniel,  

What made cow wonder -
smoking grass leading to bull?
hey! a brisket joint?

*Rambles off - blame it on the thunder storms*

Fran

Now how in the world did I miss that, Fran!?

Cute... now where is your TITLE?  


Here's another thought for you:

Hi Daniel, good to see you  :wave:

I'd forgotton all about that one (entirely inspired by yours, of course) ... shall ponder a title.

Like the comment on management, hehe.

Fran

While you're thinking of a title, Fran, here's another faux-ku to stimulate you further:

eschewing the fat

noon facial hair trim
makes high protein wrap filler;
day-lite shavings thyme

© Daniel J Ricketts 02 Sept 2005

heavy wait

ticked off, thanks given
hands encircled luscious food;
too many seconds

© MLee Dickens’son 29 Nov 2005

Hi Daniel

Clocking in again, lol? Good to see you  :cheer:

Fran

Hi Daniel,

Welcome back. Good to see you posting again. We've missed you.

ticked off, thanks given
hands encircled luscious food;
too many seconds

Sounds like the turkey wasn't the only one stuffed at Thanksgiving. ???

hey, these are such fun to read! all that seriousness brain-bashing with 'to ku or not to ku - is that a question?' makes this a pleasant light relief. Have you ever visited the site called 5seven5? poems and replies all have to be in that form, but anything goes.

so, don't know how this'll match up to your hi standards, but here are a few taken and abused posts of mine:


let's do the time-warp again

this piece is unsure
of itself, of time, of space:
just a little warped


to a vanilla smoothie

i was with you, dude
till you went and ice ice'd me
baby, too retro


don't peak too soon, boy {grins}

have you a Sherpa
to guide your breathless ascent?
experience counts


p.m i.m m&m's alergy

this could be construed
as internet flirting, no?
nuts need not apply

what a boor

the man's such a pig --
displays porcine niceties;
makes me quite bristle!


hello sailor

Pop-eye'd with tension
needs a little olive oil
plain good for the heart


hornblower

this blisterin' rash!
a question of sea-man-tics?
blast the scurvey dog!


chart-stopping

is Pythagoras
listed in Cook's World's who's who?
such a cutie pi

oh dear oh dear oh dear

stags, hot 'n' horny
(but the doe's just such a moose! )
they're stuck in a rut



okay, i'll shaddup now. these are definitely addictive

cot cold-handed

he's so licit...Ted
stand-in on the street - cornered
with too reddened chic s

web bloggers

melting in the sun
icicle ploops in puddle
onlooker ducks

fie night questin'

edgeless time flows on
taking up no space et al
will it ever rend?

Tears Away

Candle in the wind
Smoke gets in, your eyes water
blown out of proportion

costly smells

perfume drops on skin
odorus concoction smells fine
no lingering cents

A form invented (and perfected?) by Daniel....this I cannot resist. What a good exercise this was too

here's my humble attempt at mastering faux-ku


Ghost Writer

Writers block was cured
by phantom words appearing;
shouldn't I be spooked?

Daniel started a fabulous idea here. I'd completely missed Steve's two - I must catch up more often.

One of the Brit broadsheet newspapers has a comp for "haiku" (yes, they admit that the def'n is not technically accurate, for any purists) that represents news matters.

http://books.guardian.co.uk/games/haiku/

Might be worth a go?

Fran

Hey, y'all...

Sorry I've not been about these parts. Don't want any of you to think I don't appreciate your pieces. Each one has a very good bite! Well-done!

Here's a bit of a stinker that occurred to me a couple of weeks ago:

a void flying

oversees hijack
scared everything out of him;
stays in continent


runnin' off sLightly, Daniel B)

General Milling

Total employ meant
affirmative action clan
produced lively 'hood

© MLee Dickens'son 21 Aug 2006

How about I celebrate a year away from this thread with something that I just discovered in the corners of my file ~ some of my earliest faux-ku:

Bad Vibes

Concentric circles:
tattoo artist drew a bead
on his next victim.

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 10 Dec 2002}


All Eyes

Underground tube-ers
just sit and root for their star,
a veggie tater.

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 29 Nov 2002}


Asp Oration

Cleo’s craft blue last
up t’a Nile later. She’d lost
wind around the neck.

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 11 Dec 2002}


Blindly Speaking

Email address lists
(sent parenthetically)
will remain private.

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 17 December 2002}


Colored Comments

It’s hard to couch words
- azure well a-wear, Priceless -
in envy-green pads.

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 17 Dec 2002}


Friend Ships

a precious voyage
fellowship and sistership
sternly steered, by God

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 03 Feb 2003}


I m patient

I see you can’t hear;
be patient, or you’ll become one.
I hear you can’t see.

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 02 Feb 2003}


Gossip’s Fall

Light breezes through trees,
unsettling tail-baring;
note whispering leaves.

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 23 Feb 2003}


Marely Cloud?

Drinking thunderheads
frolicking in whited fields;
mere ‘altered vision?

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 01 March 2003}


Oh Bleak!

Kept by my bias,
from seeing right angles, I
die agon-ally.

_{© Daniel J Ricketts 20 Dec 2002}