White Wide-eyed Wonder

There was a snowfall in the woodland,
but who will see
beyond the white trees.

There is a white tailed buck
looking back at me
does he see,
what does he see?

And there's a white rabbit
under yonder pine
he's not mine
but he sure is fine in that white coat
without black tie
I wonder why,
I sure do wonder why...

No one can see, no they don't see
these things are free, yes they're free
because of me
but I still have them for eternity
in my eyes and memories.

Like a white dove flying free
they went one their way,
as I went on mine.
Down the road,
down the road,
I am gone.

Hi Steve

It's so good to read a poem from you again. This one is intriguing - a winter wonderland, mixed with Bright Eyes & Alice Through the Looking Glass.

I'm not sure if you want a critique, but I'll pass on my thoughts. It perhaps needs a just little trim.

White Wide-eyed Wonder

Love the title!

There was a snowfall in the woodland,
but who will see
beyond the white trees?

Question mark at end

There is a white tailed buck
looking back at me
does he see,
what does he see?

Possibly, trim last 2 lines to
does he see me?

And there's a white rabbit
under yonder pine
he's not mine
but he sure is fine in that white coat
without black tie
[I wonder why,]
I sure do wonder why...

No one can see, [no they don't see]
these things are free,
yes they're free
because of me,comma
but I still have them for eternity
in my eyes and memories.

Like a white dove flying free
they went on[e] their way,
as I went on mine.
Down the road,
[down the road,]
I am gone.

Sp. L2 on

I'm not too keen on the repeats - but that's just me. Others mat see this differently

A very enjoyable read all the same - bring on some more! LOL!

Snow

Snow, Thanks for reading and the kind words, this was written right after I saw a photo my sister took from this last Feb of a snowstorm in Maine. Unfortunately I have not been doing well. Have been bed ridden more or less for the last week and a half, my lungs decided it was time to make Steve hurt some more. I am now on a nebulizer not that it helps much. would like to find the 60 pound person who keeps insisting on sitting on my chest. I want to sit on theirs for a while. Plus my lower stomach and intestines have been taking me on roller coaster rides again. Up and down, back and forth to the throne room. Don't feel very hungry after a few bouts of that. Nurse and doctor from hospice keep wanting me to go into their care facility, I keep saying no... If I have to go I want to go at home, plus I keep asking them what more are they going to do there that they cant do here, the answer is not much. I'd rather stay home thanks. At least here I have a lot more privacy, and I can get up and raid the fridge...lol. Ah well

You take care
Steve