Hi all,

Based on the other two Robert Frost challenges here in Karnak, I'll throw a third into the mix.

Taking Frost's Acquainted with the Night poem below, create your own using the same end words. The words are: night, rain, light, lane, beat, explain, feet, cry, street, good-bye, height, sky, right, night.

Good luck!
~Cleo

Hi Lori here is my reply.

I am a Friend in the Night

I am a friend in the night
when the moon is hidden by the rain.
Shadows become darker without its light,
but stars turn alleys into a lane,
and the rain, it has a steady beat,
a rhythm I find hard to explain.

Heavy is the burden placed upon my feet,
to carry me out and back without cry.
up and down that lovely street,
until I'm ready for my good-bye.

Oh, what heights we'll hit, when we hit the heights,
we'll run 'till the stars become a stream of milk in the sky.
I know now that all will be all right
because I am a friend in the night.


RF's rhyme words.
night, rain, light, lane, beat, explain, feet, cry, street, good-bye, height, sky, right, night.

3 Feb 2010
© Steve Pray

Well done, Steve!

Now the race is ON to see who will respond next...

Enjoyed the read!
~Cleo

Hi Lori and Well Done Steve,

These are such fun! Here's mine in the same sonnet form. Hope you enjoy.

Stars

They pierce the velvet curtain of the night
then fall on eyes; illuminated rain
to wash the shadowed soul. Share subtle light

where darkness dwells beside the forest lane.
Strobe softly like the syncopating beat
of creatures’ calls, all trying to explain

the mystery. A trek on silent feet
between the silvered branches. Tears I cry,
for blinding fetters fall to dream-strewn street.

Quicksilver shafts fade swiftly, no good-bye;
replenished in each moment from a height
of centuries. They decorate the sky

while never knowing how they make things right
with fiery faces smiling down each night.


Larry

Larry, well done to you also. I almost wan't going to reply to this, then stared at it for a while and said ok why not...lol. Lori, I think Birches should be the next one to follow, as that is my third Frost poem, I don't ever remember reading this one before...strange. I will see if I can come up with a follow on.

Steve

Applause to both entries.

I'm sure you're all anxious to know this >>
the form is a 14 line terza rima. RF added his own unique touch.

Straight outa Wicki,



There's lots more reading available thar.


I'll consult with Trebor to see if we can spin anything off as well.

Merlin

Once more into the fray of frosty bobs.

Alone

Though some exist as if it’s always night,
while others seem to wither in life’s rain,
bemused and lost; souls blackened without light.

I’ve watched them walking down that lonely lane
of solitude. It’s though they had been beat
before the game was played. I can’t explain

why they’re so down while standing on their feet.
If thoughts were spent to recognize their cry
of anguish, guide them from that dead-end street

where there is no hello; only good-bye.
Help heart and soul escape that lowly height
to sunlit day beneath an azure sky.

A friend, some hope of future is their right
instead of disappearing into night.


Merlin, thanks for the clarification of the form. The Wiki and Dante hints were great reads also.

Larry

FANTABULOUS response Larry!

I could really relate to the words you chose - I've been down this street! Luckily, I'm no longer alone and definitely don't feel in the dark.

This is inspiring! Perhaps I'll give this one a go!

Enjoyed the read,
~Cleo

Hi Lori,

I'm glad for you and the light that guided you from that lonely street. There was a duality of meaning in my offering (physical and mental). Hope you caught them both. Thank you for the praise and yes, you should give it a try. They're nearly as addictive as limericks.

Larry

Thanks Larry,

Ok, here's goes (still need title - suggestions welcome)!


A Wakening


In districts dimly lit it’s always night
where troubled ones cannot see through the rain
and haze to find that flicker we call 'light'.

Specters enlist the weak on 'luring lane'
priming their craft with those already beat.
These acts, often unnoticed, don’t explain

the cruel and unjust faltering of feet
on paths that yield a warning, no; a cry
for help. Can someone save them from that street?

It comes from deep within; let’s say good-bye
to fragments of ourselves. We’ll scale that height
and rise above to see a sapphire sky.

It starts today! Conquer those wrongs and right
the past; a dawning comes from fettered night.


Copyright © Lorraine M. Kanter 26 Feb 2010

Well Hello There Lori,

Glad you finally added to the thread with one of your own. I know this is not a crit forum but may I make a few suggestions to clean up the meter and punctuation? Please!

S1L1 - In districts, dimly lit...

S3L2 - lose the caps and "no; a cry for help"

There is nothing wrong with your title, just widen it a bit to "A Wakening".

Again, welcome to the fray and excellent job!

Larry

Thanks Larry! I've made those edits - I may even post for crit. I am working on the other Frost challenge in response to yours but only have the first 2 lines (stuck on L2 as L3 starts with 'and':
Two chosen took a stand in Nether Wood
and each, though wracked with pain, endured x both

ANywho =- might have to change L2 altogether as I'm stuck at it...

HUGS
Lori

Hey Lori,

Try to sub "and" with "though each was wracked with" or " tho' ". First two lines look like an interesting start to another Swords & Sorcerers genre poem. Looking forward to reading it.

Larry

Larry.

If I want to follow your lead however, I'd would need to keep 'and' to start L2. I might go with only using the last words of each line in my response in that thread/challenge to start (first time out ya know). It'll make it easier on me, !

Stay tuned!
~Cleo