To have six beats per line, might it destroy the flow?
Too many waves of thought and fact, too much to know...
Too big a gulp of air to breathe, from this resign?
Might it destroy the flow to have six beats per line?

For just one line to bear a dozen syls is much.
My best suggestion is, it takes a poet's touch.
But God has given women that very special flair!
A dozen syls is much for just one line to bear.

This is great Ron!

I don't think a dozen syls is too much, especially given YOUR flair!

Well done!
~Cleo

Welcome to the land of Doogwyn, where fairies, elves, sprites and dragons come together to celebrate the year's end.


Year’s End on Doogwyn


Krie glides around the wooded glen
and flits between tall elfin men
in fairy fashion, glibly rides
around the wooded glen; Krie glides.

Diego sails in guarded flight -
Doogwyn’s pretentious, playful sprite.
He yearns to glisten forest trails
in guarded flight, Diego sails.

A sparkling shroud of fairy dust
proliferates when dragon’s gust
consumes the sky with pinkish cloud
of fairy dust - a sparkling shroud!

‘I knew you’d come, Daegon my friend!’
I had to, Krie, to then transcend
the wall of never-ending glum.
‘Daegon my friend, I knew you’d come!’

In merriment, they lead the dance
and bid adieu with festive stance
expressing unified content;
they lead the dance in merriment.

As minutes pass, twin moons appear
and glow upon Doogwyn’s frontier
to chants of praise (and bits of sass);
twin moons appear as minutes pass.

Somehow, they form enchanting ties
as each surrenders to ‘goodbyes’
at ease with resolution’s vow;
they form enchanting ties – somehow.

Copyright © Lorraine M. Kanter

Hi Ron and Liz - I moved your posts into this thread:

http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?...mp;#entry113262

More Capital or Less Debt?

We paid in cash without a card,
because for debt we'd no regard.
We saved to buy, some pay we'd stash.
Without a card, we paid in cash.

Our friends all smiled, as well they should;
their homes of stone, ours made of wood.
The toys of life they all compiled,
as well they should, our friends all smiled.

Their credit's deep, as seas are wet,
so they forgot to temper debt.
So now's the time for them to weep,
as seas are wet, their credit's deep.

As times grow tough, their life's less grand,
and now they wish , like us, they'd planned.,
for soon they'll be no "on the cuff".
Their life's less grand as times grow tough. grow for are ty Cleo

To mend our ways we must contrive,
what means must man make his to thrive?
So must we save? or spending pays?
We must contrive to mend our ways!

Hey Ron,

Perfect theme here for the time we're in. I really like S3:
Their credit's deep, as seas are wet,
so they forgot to temper debt.
So now's the time for them to weep,
as seas are wet, their credit's deep.

Weeping as we struggle to maintain a grasp on future spending for sure. One little mention in S4L4 - grow tough.

I've had a MAJOR life-altering event dealt to me 2 weeks ago and hope to re-surface again soon; please bear with me.

Cheers
~Cleo

Cleo - you've pulled off both a rhyming/metered and magical trick here
The form is enchanting and intoxicating - Your lyrics , rhymes and meter are perfect
and the poetry also makes sense ! Bravo!

Thanks so much Mike!

Hoping you'll be "enchanted" enough to give this form a try!

Best,
~Lori

Lori,

Here is my gift to you for your gift to all of us. The SQ is an addictive yet beautiful new way of expressing oneself. Thank you for creating it for all of us at MM (and hopefully the rest of the poetic world) to enjoy.


Lori's Creation
In Sonnet form

When weaving rhymes one day it came to me,
as innovative ways arrive sometimes,
that through reiteration… clarity.
One day it came to me when weaving rhymes

that I could stress important lines of thought
to help the reader see and thus possess
a deeper understanding. So I sought
important lines of thought that I could stress.

With mirrors to my heart in each quatrain
I chose my words, while hoping to impart
that portrait from the mind. Start and refrain
in each quatrain. With mirrors to my heart,

I share my soul. Each verse, part of a whole.
Each verse, part of a whole! I share my soul.

Larry

WOW, Larry! :cloud9:This tribute is such a wonderful surprise! You've certainly imparted that portrait we all hope to be able to express through words/poetry here.

I am savoring every word that you chose - the whole idea behind the SQ is to be able to express yourself with that twist which should, if done right, give a slightly different meaning to the stanza. You've done a wonderful job with this one! I'm at work and my eyes watered up reding it - now you know how great that is to strike this emotional cord in response. I must try one of these sonnet hybrids!! Of course, the sonnet scares me to no end...

Luv the whole part and this especially:
One day it came to me when weaving rhymes

that I could stress important lines of thought
to help the reader see and thus possess
a deeper understanding. So I sought
important lines of thought that I could stress.

Thank you!
~Lori

Hi Lori,

I am pleased you shed a tear for my gift to you. Again, thank you for creating this beautiful form.

Larry

Thank YOU Larry for such a wonderful tribute to it!

Excellent SQ, Larry... and even more exceptional in both its message and the fact that you weaved it into a fine sonnet!


Here's the most recent one that I've written:


For Crying Out Loud

Can my conscience still cry? If I'm lost
in the world without values I've tossed
can I turn, let God fix what's awry?
If I'm lost, can my conscience still cry?

Though opposed to the proud, still He gives
grace that humbles my heart; mercy lives
in Eternity's plan. As He's vowed
still He gives — though opposed to the proud.

When I draw near to Him, He's right there
'neath the laughter I’m belching for air
hiding pain in a stiff upstream swim.
He's right there when I draw near to Him.

© MLee Dickens'son 08 June 2008
reflection on James 4:1-10

Lovely Daniel!

~Cle