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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Challenges & Competitions > InterBoard Poetry Competition > IPBC Archive
Cleo_Serapis
Hello,

Xanadu has requested that Dichotomy Goes to The Races by wordfaery be nominated for it's originality of theme as well as it's economy of words in presenting a different slant on how we may or may not need the use of metaphor to present our message.


Dichotomy Goes to The Races


Thirty years from now
wheelchair bound, gnarly
howling scraps of heavy metal lyrics,
I won’t know I’m an essay topic.

So let me save you some trouble
forget what was said about that piece,
the one the academic egos analyzed.

The Fifth Race at Fort Erie is about
the fifth race at Fort Erie.

The horses, cheap claimers,
bony buck-shinned bays
distant cousins of the Barb, Arabian
and Turk foundation sires.

The noisy lady
peculiar yellow streaks in her white hair
with faded gingham dress,
takes the bus to the track
and only makes show bets.

The guy in the frayed brown suit
and undersized hairpiece
never looks up
from the Form until the final furlong.

Odd low-rollers hoping for a score –
exist at the Fort, Mountaineer, Santa Anita,
every race track. I intended to write about them
about manure smells and dime store cologne.
Choke down a boiled hotdog and
taste desperation in the coffee.

It’s not deep.
Don’t let them tell you differently.

There are no metaphors here.
AMETHYST
I would like to nominate Ruminations by Jim Callaghan, for it's humorous undertone, use of poetic techniques that help this read smoothly and is pleasing to hear aloud, as much as it is reads silently in the readers mind. I found it to have a strong sound/rhythm that enhances the story and meaning.


Ruminations


A bee on daily duty round
was milking clover’s healthy growth
in nearby, grassy hunting ground:
a grazing heifer swallowed both!

The bee was mad; what right had she
to interfere with honest toil?
He’d make this ox pay painful fee,
mark her mistake with sting’s sharp foil.

Yet, it was dark and warm inside
and he had laboured hard and long,
a gentle rocking soothed his pride
and Somnos called, was that so wrong?

He snuggled closer to the flower
and mumbled through a stifled yawn,
‘revenge can wait for half an hour’;
but when he woke the cow had gone.
AMETHYST
I would like to nominate John's GAME OVER for vital twists of meaning, as I feel many readers will be able to relate to and feel at home with this poem. I felt that John did really well to shape the poem using lovely rhymes and sounds.


GAME OVER


No mistaken identity here
nor retribution to face,
her last embrace tweaked
my prurient, sultry space.

She’s predictably irrational
when passions rising high;
flaming waves manically fire
a wanton ride hard to deny.

My lady’s sudden outbursts
explode with furious force,
bellowing a blistering wrath,
scathing, with no remorse.

A torrid confusion burns,
fevering my quivering core,
this phantom feeling revives
painful images I can’t ignore.

Dalliances with philanderers
scorched a once intimate bond
turning red-hot trysts to ice,
I suppress, no longer respond.

An opaque mind fails to shine
on this blurry breaking dawn;
a new day pierces bleary eyes,
I feel like a sacrificial pawn.

Tearful promises fail to elicit
a sincere, cordial kindness;
spiritless, my soul is scorned,
score me a zero for forgiveness.
AMETHYST
I would like to nominate The Misting by Lori Kanter, for the poem's fresh and exciting, adventurous images. She takes the reader on a journey of words - by poem's end it becomes a memory of our very own. I felt this poem was written with a master's pen and is a valuable contribution to the world of poetry.


The Misting


From wastelands come clarity, visions await
encircled by heralded whispers of late --
this paradise green, for those who have seen
angelic life-forces, seek Heaven's vast gate.

I look as a brightened confluence of white
cascades in a lucid, baptismal delight;
in fantasy’s thrall, the deep yearnings do call,
I reach for the mist which then cradles my fall.

The waters are calm in this euphoric place --
I wade in a crystalline world of embrace.
In apathy’s den, soft ripples now grin
applauding contentment I’ve found from within.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 17 May 2008
AMETHYST
I would like to nominate Melodies of Life by Eira Needham for its originality, imagery and depth of meaning and story telling. There is skillful poetic techniques used through out to create a pleasing, and memorable poem.


Melodies of Life


A rhythm gently stirs the dormant earth
with tranquil harmonies. All creatures browse;
inherently they couple, giving birth,
as woods deliver buds to gravid boughs.
Soft showers suckle buttercup bouquets;
a rainbow colours mama’s lullaby.
I fly away with blue birds while she sways
me, lids becoming heavy; hush-a-bye.

I leap awake to summer's bold refrains
in verdant fields, where poppies splash their hue.
I preen myself; sap surges through my veins,
perplexing urges rousing my debut
to adolescent days. Discordant sounds
of rock enthral; my sensual desires
are vivid like the flowers. Life abounds
with energetic zest; true love transpires.

I dawdle into autumn and repose
beneath old foliage of rusty blends,
its slower tempo lulls until I doze.
I wake as desiccating leaves descend,
accepting life’s erosion with dismay.
Transformed, my look precipitates the fear
that fading blossoms wrinkle and decay;
the flush of summer fades … to disappear.

I hear the strains of winter’s chilled advance
and feel ambivalent to distant days.
As snowflakes fall, resplendent, they enhance
the stark reality of life’s malaise.
Will mist surround my mind’s befuddled dreams,
purloin my dignity when time seems false?
As cold entices sleep, the sun will gleam
once more for me to dance … that final waltz.

When winter leaves I hear its funeral dirge;
inactive life bestirs, becoming rife.
Sustaining water spills as shrubs emerge
in rhythm with the melodies of life.
AMETHYST
This is a marvelous poem. Lori's pen painted an amazingly intriguing poem in Miracle Marauders. I enjoyed this poem for the excellence in word usage, meaning, imagery and by far her skillful way of painting a scene that becomes surreal to the reader. This is a must read poem!


Miracle Marauders


Hapless Hollow beckons,
home to miracle marauders
lecturing escape
as a new dawn emerges.

Fearless flimflam scams
conveniently covet truth,
exposed only by
alien encounters.

Could they be feuding
factions of a tightened earth?

Unlikely.

If only mankind’s naiveté
could be critiqued, packaged,
published and sold universally;

I should think we’d be first
on the galaxy’s guide
of the top ten places to infest.

Likely.

It’s not always paramount
to be number one…

In fact, I think I’ll board
the next UFO to anywhere
but here.

If only.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter
AMETHYST
I would like to nominate The Ballerina In Apartment B22 by Linda Cable, for it's subject matter and images that leave a lasting impression on the reader. I liked how the poet handled many of the stanza's lead and how she utilized many poetic techniques that works well through out the poem.


The Ballerina In Apartment B22


Flapping pigeons remind Freda of applause;
she smiles, wriggling crippled toes
inside wide, fuzzy slippers, attempting
a chasse' around pots of purple pansies, bergamot,
stirring tea roses with a silver spoon,
the bittersweet clink of Tchaikovsky's A minor.

Dawn spotlights her
imagined plie upon the edge
of the palsied deck rail -
she grows momentarily tall within
memories of an arabesque beneath swan-clouds,
sighing in veneration of Vazem, Gert.

Her broken body totters toward
the coda of a peeling, padded chair,
the orchestra playing in her head.
Closing lids as dry as a moth's wing
she whispers,

“Sur' le cou-de-pied”.

In dreams,
she spins, and spins.
Xanadu
WOW! Thank you so much Amethyst!!
This is a really big surprise.

I am such a computer idiot. Please tell me where I may submit my acceptance, etc. I am so lost!!
AMETHYST
Congratulations, and well deserved with that poem... Linda, I sent you a Private Message that is titled "IBPC Nomination Notification" There are several questions that need to be answered in order to accept - you can either copy that and paste here in this thread or reply to me or Cleo_serapis.

Good Luck! wink.gif

Best Wishes, Liz
Xanadu
Amethyst:

I gleefully accept this nomination for the June IPBC.
The Ballerina in Apartment B22 is an original, unpublished poem.
It has not been nominated by any other board, nor has it been reviewed as best or final by any board.

Respectfully,

Linda E. Cable
hcscable@att.net



Again, many thanks!
AMETHYST
Hi Linda,

The question regarding "Has this been reviewed as "Best and Final"? is up to you - are you making any further revisions to the poem? If so, just let Lori or myself know and we will make the changes so if it goes on to IBPC, it is sent in it's final and completed state.

Its a wonderful poem and there is time to make any changes to it that you might like to ...

Best Wishes, Liz
Cleo_Serapis
Thanks Liz.

This is just a "fun" poem, I'm not certain if it were chosen to represent MM that it would place at IBPC?

I'll gladly accept the nom, and see how the polling goes, although I prefer 'The Misting' over this one.

Thanks again.
Lori sun.gif
Cleo_Serapis
Thanks Liz very much. dance.gif

I'm still working on some edits on this one as some excellent suggestions have been put forth that I haven't incorporated just yet. I'll work on that today and will hopefully have a revision posted.

I accept the nom - thank you!
Lori
Xanadu
Oh!

I believe this will stand as is. The Ballerina in Apartment B22 is my best and final.

Thank you.
JLY
Liz,
Thank you.

Are you the original author of this poem? Yes
Has this poem ever been published? No
Has this poem been nominated by any other participating board (of IBPC)? No
Has this poem been reviewed as "best and final" to assure the latest revision is judged? Yes
Is your email address on file up to date (what is it)? Yes
Do you accept the nomination to submit the work (if selected to represent MM)? Yes
My Official Name: John L Yelavich
AMETHYST
Congratulations John On the nomination and good luck in the IBPC Voting... Hugs, Liz
Eisa
Hi Liz - thanks for this nomination. I am thrilled!!! -as I have been working on this for years! LOL!!! I have just made a few final revisions (unless someone spots anything else!)

I am smiling too!
Hugs
Snow Snowflake.gif
AMETHYST
Congratuations on the IBPC Nominations and pollling and good luck in the competition.

Best Wishes, Liz
AMETHYST
Congratulations Snow, For the nominations and the polling - Best wishes in the IBPC Competition


Hugs, Liz
AMETHYST
Congratulations Lori,

Best WIshes in the IBPC Competition - Feeling good this month on our nominations and hoping to see us come to life with this new Judge...

Good luck with the competition and I cannot wait till the book!

Hugs, Liz
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