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[Cyn]

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[Peterpan]

Hi Cyn~

I like this as we have just been on a road trip (my husband and I) 5 days and 1000kms - from JHB to Colesburg in the Northern Cape of South Africa. We saw a lot of fences and a lot of open land, complete solitude. I have amazing photos of our land. But, I can relate to this poem and the limitations (fencing limitations) and the boundaries and the snags and the framing of the horison. We have tumble weeds here and the tumble weeds were not mobile. They were still red and growing. Most attractive. The fences trap the tumble weeds later in the year when they dry, dislodge and become active...So in short I like every description you have worded here as I can identify with it. I also like the need for a good horse - as it indicates a lot of distance to be travelled in the mending!! Perhaps like good health? Long distance riding - long life riding? Being fenced in? Enjoyed all the themes.

Thanks you for sharing this poem.

PP

[Eisa]

Fenceline

I bind these fields, as you pass
on the road you choose
to travel. A plastic bag snags, tatters
in the wind; I don’t release it. I hold
the horizon, depending on your view,
contain that which you need contained, keep
out that which you wish kept out,
define perspective, bent, then
straight, ordered, disorderly,
in need of mending, in need
of a good horse.

Hi Cyn

I like the theme of this and find very little to change. I find lines 6&7 a bit wordy and could be trimmed back. Also, I feel if you rearranged your line breaks, this could read a little smoother ... something like --


Fenceline

I bind these fields,
as you pass on the road
you choose to travel.
A plastic bag snags,
tatters in the wind;
I don’t release it.
I hold the horizon,
depending on your view,
contain what you need,
keep out what you wish,
define perspective,
bent, then straight,
ordered, disorderly,
in need of mending,
in need of a good horse.

Just a few thoughts -- take or toss!

Snow

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Cyn, a borderline of images, surrounded by fences of all sorts, by even non fences. I love the feel that I am traveling here throughout a wide open land...enjoyed the read very much.
Steve

[JustDaniel]

I can identify with your fenceline, Cyn...

we have a lot in common... ordered, disorderly, snaggin', tattered, baggy...

a lot o' horsin' around inside an' all kinds o' worthless stubble...

straight, bent, definin' perspective...

keepin' out who I often want in...

sLightly aged, rusty, Daniel

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Cyn.

This is an interesting poem. I see it both as a literal story of horse and rider and also as a tug-o-war between two people at odds with their life together (the rider the one holding on). I am also going to suggest a little bit of rearranging of line breaks mostly for a different dramatic pause between images. I will also make suggestions as I go along.

Enjoyed!
~Cleo

I bind these fields, as you pass
on the road you choose
to travel. A plastic bag snags, tatters
in the wind; I don’t release it. I hold
the horizon, depending on your view,
contain that which you need contained, keep
out that which you wish kept out,
define perspective, bent, then
straight, ordered, disorderly,
in need of mending, in need
of a good horse.

[add] {delete}

I bind these fields{,} as you pass
on the road you choose to travel.
A plastic bag snags, tatters
in the wind; I don’t release it.
I hold the horizon, depending on your view,
{contain} [restrain] that which you need contained,
{keep out} [evade (or eschew)] that which you wish kept out,
define perspective, bent, then straight,
ordered, disorderly,
in need of mending, in need
of a good horse.

[JustDaniel]

I'm bent every whichway
as I read this again
and again...

but I think I keep coming back
to something like
how Snow has shifted
the signs of springing
into the fields
with freedom.

Lightly, Daniel

[JaxMyth]

Fenceline

I bind these fields, as you pass
on the road you choose
to travel. A plastic bag snags, tatters
in the wind; I don’t release it. I hold
the horizon, depending on your view,
contain that which you need contained, keep
out that which you wish kept out,
define perspective, bent, then
straight, ordered, disorderly,
in need of mending, in need
of a good horse.

I really like this Cyn but the 'need of a good horse' seems a non sequitur or am I missing something?

Regards,

Jax

[Guest_Don_*]

Hi Cyn,

Living in Ohio farm country, we have a lot of different fences to keep livestock in and tourists out of the corn. Large tracts requiring a range rider doesn't fit; hence, the introduction of the horse might be less abrupt to a reader's bias similar to mine.

We are Quarter-horse country for show and contests rather than working. A few small farms still use large draft horses for typical farm horsepower needs, such as plowing, by religious sects, say German Baptists and Amish

I really like your positive and negative aspects of fence. They are like friction, which we can't do without, but often wish we could. The secret, as you have pointed out well, is proper application and mending to maintain purpose.

Enjoyed your sharing

Don