I Walk On, A Triolet Options

[Aggiel]

I Walk On

I walk on towards the blue zone,
my steps inflamed by flighty dream.
Its narrow  path, is still unknown.
I walk on towards the blue zone.  
I speculate its yellow tone  
and weave an impossible scheme.
I walk on towards the blue zone;  
my steps inflamed by flighty dream.

Agatha Lai

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Hi Aggiel  

I am not familiar with the form, so I won't attempt to critique that.  

This is a poem that creates some fascinating images for me with the colours and zones.

Your words weave such interesting questions for me

I love the idea of a "flighty dream" - I kinda see that as a dream of life that is escaping the narator (either the dream escaping, or the life she would like), making her seek something. Is she (or he) still dreaming in these colourful descriptions?

I know colours often have symbolic meanings and I wonder if that is what the narator is seeing here? The blue zone, with the tricky path, and the yellow, that may make it mpossible.

Lovely  

Fran

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Aggie

Like Fran I can't crit on the form but it reads very well.  I don't know what the colours represent and I'm probably way off the mark but it I saw her climbing as if in a dream up some shimmering stairs to a clear blue sky and the yellow is the glow and warmth of the Sun.

an enjoyable read, thanks.

Nina

[Aggiel]

Hi Fran,


I like the way you analyse my poem.  I think you have caught
my thought and put it down nicely on paper. Mean time I will
not explain this flighty dream nor the colours blue and yellow
for I like interpretation from others.



I am glad I walk into this thread.

Thanks for the beautiful input.



Aggiel

[Aggiel]

Hi Nina,

I like your description of my poem, very poetic.

Like Fran I can't crit on the form but it reads very well.  I don't know what the colours represent and I'm probably way off the mark but it I saw her climbing as if in a dream up some shimmering stairs to a clear blue sky and the yellow is the glow and warmth of the Sun.

I don't mind meters is not discussed here , just dreams.



Aggie

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Aggie... I liked the form and i also like the dream colors in the zone..... very nice a relaxing.
steve

[Aggiel]

Thank you Steve.

Yes, it is pleasant to work on Triolets with colours and
dreams in mind.

Thank you for dropping by.




Aggiel

[Guest_Don_*]

Hi Aggie,

Very well done.

It sounds very smooth and has a mysterious quality emphasing colors with dream, scheme, and personal achievment.

I interpret that you are conciously advancing toward an unlikely aspiration (flighty dream).  Note that it is singular instead of plural. Flighty could also refer to etheral.  It has wings like an angel.

Blue usually denotes cold, which in this case may be reality of I know not what (heaven perhaps).  The narrow path metaphor is employed in Christian religion a lot.

Yellow denotes warmth, which in this case alludes to the comforting features of your goal...maybe part of the impossible or unlikely.

I am uncertain of your weaving an impossible scheme. Scheme lends heavy connotation of personal effort and planned intention.  It denotes ill intentions more than say the word plan.

I like the link between inflamed and yellow tone.

Don

[Guest_Cathy_*]

I walk on towards the blue zone,
my steps inflamed by flighty dream.
Its narrow  path, is still unknown.
I walk on towards the blue zone.  
I speculate its yellow tone  
and weave an impossible scheme.
I walk on towards the blue zone;  
my steps inflamed by flighty dream.

For some reason I see this as searching for the end of the rainbow... the dream being at its end.  The 'steps inflamed' being the inspiration behind the search or what encourages her to keep on.  Probably way off the mark, I'm sure.  lol

I can't crit the form itself without checking it out first.  I'm not familiar with it.  The imagery is beautiful though.  Do the colors symbolize something or just something you picked at random?  The blue gives a cool feeling and the yellow represents warmth.  I still like the rainbow ... *smiles*

Cat

[Aggiel]

Don,

Thanks. This makes my meters jump with joy.




It is worth any poet's while to write a walk through
dreams and colours and later get a lot of interesting  
remarks and interpretations for readers to chew.

I think I can admit that you got the " narrow part"  right.
Yes, that's the idea.

Any unknown path to me has its obstacles and colours, that's life.

Thanks for the beautiful write, Don.




Aggie

[Aggiel]

Cathy,

Thanks for liking the rainbow. It makes me smile. So
this to you is a rainbow, why not.

Rainbow is illusive so is this poetic walk,
but like you said, probably way off mark.

Thanks for the insight.

Come again when you have found some nit.



Aggie