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Dark Ages: 2005 (Revised 11 Sep 2005), Wizard and Faery Award ~ Katrina |
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Sep 7 05, 19:02
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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*Graphic provided by Celtic Castle DesignsFaery Award Winner *Graphic provided by Celtic Castle DesignsDark Ages: 2005
In an age where society
is supposed to be...
streamlined,
advanced,
respectful,
compassionate,
proud,
willing...
why do I feel as though
we live in the
Dark
Ages
of
Apathy?
Nobility and loyalty;
two words
tossed about
like Hacky Sacks.
"By the sword... and the cross."
Last week, I witnessed the worst
national disaster in our history;
I saw my fellow man
being raped, beaten,
shot at, left for dead;
on national television.
Soon after, I heard
excuses by politicians
who cannot talk their
way out ~ this time.
"Amidst the errors there shone forth men of genius,
no less keen were their eyes,
although they were surrounded by darkness..."
Today, I heard sirens blaring;
instinctively, I jumped to my feet.
Then it dawned on me:
Have we come so far?
Who
will
extend
their
hand?
Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 11 Sep 2005 Quotes by Charlemagne and Petrarch(original)
In an age where society is supposed to be more...
streamlined, advanced, respectful, caring, considerate, proud, willing...
why do I feel as though we live in the
Dark Ages of Charlemagne?
Nobility and loyalty; two words tossed about like a hackey-sack.
"By the sword and the cross."
Last week, I witnessed the worst national disaster in our history.
Five days ago, I saw people being raped, beaten, shot at, left for dead; on national television.
Two days ago, I heard excuses by politicians who cannot talk their way out: this time.
Today, I heard sirens blaring; instinctively, I jumped to my feet. Then it dawned on me: Have we come so far?
Who can I save?
Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 07 Sep 2005
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Jox_*
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Sep 7 05, 19:19
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Guest
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Wow, Lori, this is powerful and I think for you - unusually topical.
You've used several techniques plus references to history to make your point very well.
The title is brilliant.
I admit my knowledge of Emperor Charlemange is zero (sorry) so there's one to look up.
What is a hackey-stack, please?
You have strongly personalised this - lots of "I" references. That is noteworthy.
In the end, though, you do have an optimistic message; a message which enables compassion and care to shine through all the darkness. It is simply presented and stunningly effective.
I don't, at present, have any suggestions for improvement. But I did want to say how unusual, refreshing and powerful this is. Very well done, indeed.
If I think of anything, I'll say but in the meantime, thank you for the read.
J.
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Guest_Nina_*
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Sep 8 05, 00:31
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Guest
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Hi Lori
This is indeed a powerful poem and quite personal. I tend to agree that we are living in a new dark age and it seems to be on a steady decline.
We may be more streamlined and advance but seem to have become a materialistic, selfish, greedy species with a "must have must get" attitude, yet people on the whole are still not happy. Many just care about themselves and their own narrow worlds and will walk past someone needing help without noticing or wanting to notice.
Like James, I know nothing about Charlemagne
Who can I save?
if each person thought like this or even "Who can I help" the world would be a better place.
Nina
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Guest_Cathy_*
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Sep 8 05, 09:31
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Guest
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Hi Lori,
We can jump to the aid of other countries but drag our feet when it comes to our own. Shameful situation!
I have some suggestions which of course can be tossed. {omit}[add]
{In an age where}[Our] society is supposed to be {more}...
streamlined,
advanced,
respectful,
caring,
considerate,
proud,
willing...
{why do I feel as though} [yet] we live in the
Dark
Ages
of
Charlemagne{?}[!]
Nobility and loyalty; two words tossed about like {a} hackey-sack[s].
"By the sword and the cross."
Last week, I witnessed the worst national disaster in our history.
{Five days ago,} I saw people being raped, beaten, shot at, left for dead; on national television.
Two days ago, I heard excuses by politicians who cannot talk their way out: this time.
Today, I heard sirens blaring; instinctively, I jumped to my feet.
{Then} [I]t dawned on me: Have we come so far?
Who can I {save}? Would "help" be a better word here? Naturally we can't save them all but we can try to help. ???
Our society is supposed to be ...
streamlined,
advanced,
respectful,
caring,
considerate,
proud,
willing...
yet we live in the
Dark
Ages
of
Charlemagne!
Nobility and loyalty; two words tossed about like hackey-sacks.
"By the sword and the cross."
Last week, I witnessed the worst national disaster in our history.
I saw people being raped, beaten, shot at, left for dead; on national television.
Two days ago, I heard excuses by politicians who cannot talk their way out: this time.
Today, I heard sirens blaring; instinctively, I jumped to my feet.
It dawned on me: Have we come so far?
Who can I help?
Something for you to consider. I thought tightening might give your powerful message more impact.
Cathy
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Guest_Toumai_*
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Sep 8 05, 10:46
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Guest
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Hi Lori
I was just popping in to read, glanced at this and HAVE to say how powerfully this moves me.
I very much like the very personal questioning expressed here - it puts in to words so starkly and eloquently what so many people around the world must be feeling at the moment. The horror of so many stories and the pictures on the tv that bear them out.
Charlemagne was the king of the Francs (and grandson of Charles Martel ! - 'Charles the Hammer' ): more details from Wikki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlemagne
Fran
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Guest_Jox_*
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Sep 8 05, 10:51
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Guest
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Hi Lori, Fran,
Thanks for the Wiki link, Fran - excellent.
I'll bet he's related to the brandy family then. :)
As regards the Wiki explanation I'm confused. It seems to say Charley was a good man who encouraged learning. But I thought you, Lori, used it as the opposite (dark ages). emm? any help for my brain, please?
Thanks in anticipation, J.
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Guest_Toumai_*
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Sep 8 05, 10:58
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Guest
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Hi James,
Nope, the brandy is marteLL (double L) :)
Perhaps Charlemagne's name is just a representative of the 'dark ages'?
Fran
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Guest_Jox_*
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Sep 8 05, 11:01
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Guest
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Hi Lori, Fran,
Thanks Fran.
Lori...
If, as Fran suggests, Charlie's name is merely representative, the I would advise changing that because, according to the small amount I've read he was actually a beacon in those times. Of course, you may know far more than I...
J.
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Sep 9 05, 05:37
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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A warm hello to James, Nina, Cathy and Fran! :wave:
I'm off to work so only have a few minutes, however I wanted to reply to a very good question you've raised.
Yes, I used Charlemagne's name as representative of the 'dark ages' - you are correct Fran - considering he was for making things right leading them away from troubled times, I think I need to change that line. :knight:
Here is what I was thinking: Since the term Dark Ages is representative of Medieval Europe - medieval to mean: belonging to the Middle Ages, I thought it may sound repetitive if I wrote it as: Dark
Ages
of
Medieval Europe.
What do you think? A few alternatives could be:
Since The Dark Ages was period in Western European history that followed the disintegration of the West Roman Empire into the period of the Renaissance perhaps I could say:
The Dark Ages (of the fall) of the Roman Empire
OR
The Dark Ages of the Barbarians?
So - does anyone fancy one of these three alternatives perhaps? :cali: :troy: :vic:
I thank you all for your kind words and crits thus far.
I'll be back :termie: later to respond individually.
Cheers! ~Cleo :pharoah:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Sep 9 05, 05:46
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 847
Joined: 14-November 03
From: Ireland
Member No.: 41
Real Name: Lucie
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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Hi Lori
This piece is so powerful and it is a brilliant point and comparison that you make..about how far we might have really come since the Dark Ages that are supposedly merely confined now to the pages of history books.
I thought the line "Dark Ages of Charlemagne" was really good and my immediate response to it is that I wouldn't change it at all (this is just me though!) The phrase Dark Ages seemed sufficient in putting the point across, and the name, even though I was not familiar with it, made the line all the more powerful because it brought a specific story into the poem, rather than a more general comparison. Just a thought..
I love
Nobility and loyalty; two words tossed about like hackey-sacks.
"By the sword and the cross." wonderfully striking
This is really topical and all the more powerful for being so descriptive and well-written..a great job
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Lucie "What could have made her peaceful with a mind That nobleness made simple as a fire, With beauty like a tightened bow, a kind That is not natural in an age like this, Being high and solitary and most stern? Why, what could she have done, being what she is? Was there another Troy for her to burn?" WB Yeats "No Second Troy" MM Award Winner
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Guest_Jox_*
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Sep 9 05, 06:08
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Guest
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Hi Lori,
If you're after historical accuracy then we have a (slight) problem, Huston. Modern historians have considerably revised our perspectives of medieval times in Europe. Nowadays it is recognised that learning, justice and progress all flourished in a way which was not understood hitherto. In t'other words, just because the Renaissance period ended did not mean that other forms of progress and enlightenment did not take-over; they did.
Ironically, this then fits your use of Charlie well. However, what it doesn’t fit the use of “Dark Ages” which, in historical academia, I suspect is no longer used very much as a value / research judgement; maybe only as a noun because we are used to it.
Maybe “Dark Ages” is rather short-cuttish, too? Maybe you could expand on today's miserable circumstances more, rather than depend on historical allusion for effect - especially as that historical allusion is no longer current thinking.
I suppose this complicates things but I hope it would also make the poem stronger. I should have thought about it earlier, apologies, I was rather taken with your poem and, as I mentioned, if I thought of anything, I’d return. Hello!
Cheers, J.
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Sep 9 05, 06:59
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi James.
Thanks for stopping back in.
Not necessarily historical accuracy, but moreso to describe a period of chaotic unrest. In my case, the 'Dark Ages' which occured prior to the Renaissance (just after the fall of the Romans and Greeks) is what I am after.
Some definitions of this period are: "The period of history between classical antiquity and the Italian Renaissance" , and "a period of stagnation and obscurity in literature and art, lasting, according to Hallam, nearly 1000 years, from about 500 to about 1500 A. D" which is also referred to as the Middle Ages (but I like the term Dark Ages more) : "The period in European history between antiquity and the Renaissance, often dated from A.D. 476 to 1453."
So, because Charlemagne was a key figure in the turning point, I think I may want to change that line to possibly the others I've mentioned as I want that line to mean a 'low point', not a 'turning point'.
This leads me to questioning my ending: Then it dawned on me: Have we come so far?
Who can I save?
I had the word 'help' in mind too - but I am also pondering the word 'turn'.
What do you think? Cheers! ~Cleo
······· ·······
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Sep 9 05, 08:17
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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HI.
A co-worker of mine just came up with this idea for the ending:
Then it dawned on me: Have we come so far?
To
Whom
can
I
extend
my
hand?
······· ·······
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Cathy_*
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Sep 9 05, 08:46
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Guest
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Hi Lori,
I like the ending suggested. You could also say:
Will I extend my hand?
As for the "Dark Ages" why not forget that period of history, drop "the" and go with "dark ages" of modern times.
yet we live in dark ages of shame
OR
yet we live in dark ages of apathy
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Guest_Toumai_*
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Sep 9 05, 10:06
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Guest
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Lori, a wonderful discussion and a wonderful poem. (No more ideas form me right now; just finding the whole thread very interesting - thanks.)
Fran
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Sep 9 05, 10:17
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE(Cathy @ Sep. 09 2005, 09:46) Hi Lori,
I like the ending suggested. You could also say:
Will I extend my hand?
As for the "Dark Ages" why not forget that period of history, drop "the" and go with "dark ages" of modern times.
yet we live in dark ages of shame
OR
yet we live in dark ages of apathy Hi Cathy.
Yes - you've got something here!
The first person references do not actually have to be 'me' - they can be 'society'. :cali:
I like you suggested ending too - which can tie into the above: Will I extend my hand? This can be both a question and a call to action methink? :detective:
I also like your: dark ages of apathy idea. I could also say:
dark ages of indifference too (same meaning).
Thanks Cathy (and Fran) for visiting again! :lovie:
~Cleo :galadriel:
······· ·······
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Sep 9 05, 10:32
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 847
Joined: 14-November 03
From: Ireland
Member No.: 41
Real Name: Lucie
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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I'm back again as well!! I think the ending line "will I extend my hand" is very good..very fitting for the poem, and Cathy's phrase "dark ages of apathy" is excellent, very specific..and I think the "dark ages" phrase really fits the modern problems you describe..perhaps you could even mention an alternative specific historical event that might fit in..just as a brief reference or something..though as it is, it's terrific!
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Lucie "What could have made her peaceful with a mind That nobleness made simple as a fire, With beauty like a tightened bow, a kind That is not natural in an age like this, Being high and solitary and most stern? Why, what could she have done, being what she is? Was there another Troy for her to burn?" WB Yeats "No Second Troy" MM Award Winner
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Guest_Cathy_*
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Sep 9 05, 10:37
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Guest
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Hi Lori,
QUOTE Yes - you've got something here! Glad I could give you some ideas.
QUOTE The first person references do not actually have to be 'me' - they can be 'society'. Yep, this could easily refer to all of us.
QUOTE I like you suggested ending too - which can tie into the above: Will I extend my hand? This can be both a question and a call to action methink? Gives you something to think about. If faced with a situation, what will I do?
QUOTE I also like your: dark ages of apathy idea. I could also say:
dark ages of indifference too (same meaning). You could also use "dark age of impassivity". You have a lot of ideas to work with!
Cathy
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Sep 9 05, 10:58
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 624
Joined: 6-August 03
From: Texas
Member No.: 15
Real Name: Marcia
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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Lori, This was beautifully done and speaks to the heart so soon after the hurricane and it's horrible aftermath. When did people become so de-sensitized that they would loot, kill, rape and terrorize a people who are already traumatized and heartbroken ? Their fellow statesmen... children, even.....we have reached an all-time low. Whisperings of Satan..... We become the instruments of God combating the whisperings of Satan. This poem speaks of that objective, I think....and very nicely, too ! Lori, I want to save this one if it is o.k. with you. I have family in 3 separate areas of Louisiana who might be interested to read it when their hearts have healed some.... Marcia
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"...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner
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Guest_Jox_*
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Sep 9 05, 11:02
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Guest
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Hi Lori,
>L>What do I think?
I think I'm brain-dead, sorry (excuse: 2.5 hours' sleep last night - zonked!)
Of course the Dark Ages came before the Renaissance - else there would be nothing for a re-birth! Sorry. But it doesn't invalid the argument - modern thought is that the dark ages weren't bad and the renaissance was simply a cultural change and not a rebirth of culture after a vacuum. Apologies.
>L>Thanks for stopping back in.
You're welcome. I love confusing! :(
>L>Not necessarily historical accuracy, but more so to describe a period of chaotic unrest. In my case, the 'Dark Ages' which occurred prior to the Renaissance (just after the fall of the Romans and Greeks) is what I am after.
Yes, you have the right historic chronology - sorry (see above). But it is those dark ages which it is now said weren't dark at all for the majority.
Of course, if historical accuracy isn't important, do anything - no limits.
>L>Some definitions of this period are: "The period of history between classical antiquity and the Italian Renaissance" , and "a period of stagnation and obscurity in literature and art, lasting, according to Hallam, nearly 1000 years, from about 500 to about 1500 A. D" which is also referred to as the Middle Ages (but I like the term Dark Ages more) : "The period in European history between antiquity and the Renaissance, often dated from A.D. 476 to 1453."
Yes, no arguments about the chronology - my sleepy error. But there is an argument about stagnation - many scholars would now strongly deny that. “The Middle Ages” carries no real baggage but “The Dark Ages” does.
>L>So, because Charlemagne was a key figure in the turning point, I think I may want to change that line to possibly the others I've mentioned as I want that line to mean a 'low point', not a 'turning point'.
>L>This leads me to questioning my ending:
Then it dawned on me: Have we come so far?
Who can I save?
I had the word 'help' in mind too - but I am also pondering the word 'turn'.
>L>What do you think
I think we’re confusing (at least) three things here (quite apart from my erroneous chronology!): Culture and compassion and political vision. The Romans were highly civilized and supported “culture” and “the arts” which flourished. Nevertheless, by our standards it was an uncompassionate empire with many barbaric practices. Some would argue that the USA is not an artistic bastion but, despite rich / poor schisms and various specific questions, I think that most people would regard it as a very compassionate society by historic standards. The UK is probably is a similar position.
With the deep south crisis of this past week , clearly culture (as in “the arts”) is irrelevant. But I’m not sure compassion enters the argument, either. As far as I’ve seen on tv, the rescue workers have been very compassionate. I don’t think, for a minute, that if George Bush saw someone drowning in the NO waters he wouldn’t try to pull them out. So, I think it comes back to political inertia, lack of dynamism and imagination of leadership: a political vacuum. To some extent the was in NO too - but DC did have hindsight, which NO didn’t.
I don’t know if I’m being helpful here? I’m tired but trying to argue that:
1 I thought “dark ages” inappropriate because it seems they weren’t dark. (even though they, of course, happened prior to the re-birth.
2 I don’t think the US suffered either a crisis in compassion (save the morons and lunatics who attacked people) not do I think it is culturally backwards - maybe not culturally perfect but not backwards. And even if it were culturally backward that would not matter. I think the failure was simply political. Interestingly, the Romans had many political failings too. Charlie, I think was a successful leader so I can’t really see him being a great eg, given what you want to say, as far as I can see it.
So I would be more inclined to ask what do culture and compassion matter if organisation lacks?
Your poem - just trying to answer your q.
I hope this time that makes sense. If not, I’ll get some sleep before I return.
Cheers, J.
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