Dark Ages: 2005 (Revised 11 Sep 2005), Wizard and Faery Award ~ Katrina Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

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Faery Award Winner

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Celtic Castle Designs


Dark Ages: 2005


In an age where society

is supposed to be...

streamlined,

       advanced,

               respectful,

                      compassionate,

                                proud,

                                       willing...



why do I feel as though

we live in the

Dark

      Ages

            of

                Apathy?



Nobility and loyalty;

two words

tossed about

like Hacky Sacks.



"By the sword...

                  and the cross."



Last week, I witnessed the worst

national disaster in our history;



I saw my fellow man

being raped, beaten,

shot at, left for dead;

on national television.



Soon after, I heard

excuses by politicians

who cannot talk their

way out ~ this time.



"Amidst the errors there shone forth men of genius,

              no less keen were their eyes,

                    although they were surrounded by darkness..."



Today, I heard sirens blaring;

instinctively, I jumped to my feet.



Then it dawned on me:

Have we come so far?



Who

       will

              extend

                        their

                               hand?


Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 11 Sep 2005
Quotes by Charlemagne and Petrarch


<sub>(original)

In an age where society
is supposed to be more...

streamlined,
advanced,
respectful,
caring,
considerate,
proud,
willing...

why do I feel as though
we live in the

Dark
Ages
of
Charlemagne?


Nobility and loyalty;
two words
tossed about
like a hackey-sack.

"By the sword
and the cross."

Last week, I witnessed the worst
national disaster in our history.

Five days ago, I saw people
being raped, beaten,
shot at, left for dead;
on national television.

Two days ago, I heard
excuses by politicians
who cannot talk their
way out: this time.

Today, I heard sirens blaring;
instinctively, I jumped to my feet.

Then it dawned on me:
Have we come so far?

Who
can
I
save?

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 07 Sep 2005</sub>

[Guest_Jox_*]

Wow, Lori, this is powerful and I think for you - unusually topical.

You've used several techniques plus references to history to make your point very well.

The title is brilliant.

I admit my knowledge of Emperor Charlemange is zero (sorry) so there's one to look up.

What is a hackey-stack, please?

You have strongly personalised this - lots of "I" references. That is noteworthy.

In the end, though, you do have an optimistic message; a message which enables compassion and care to shine through all the darkness. It is simply presented and stunningly effective.

I don't, at present, have any suggestions for improvement. But I did want to say how unusual, refreshing and powerful this is. Very well done, indeed.

If I think of anything, I'll say but in the meantime, thank you for the read.

J.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Lori

This is indeed a powerful poem and quite personal. I tend to agree that we are living in a new dark age and it seems to be on a steady decline.

We may be more streamlined and advance but seem to have become a materialistic, selfish, greedy species with a "must have must get" attitude, yet people on the whole are still not happy.  Many just care about themselves and their own narrow worlds and will walk past someone needing help without noticing or wanting to notice.  


Like James, I know nothing about Charlemagne

Who
     can
           I
              save?

if each person thought like this or even "Who can I help" the world would be a better place.

Nina

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Hi Lori,

We can jump to the aid of other countries but drag our feet
when it comes to our own.  Shameful situation!

I have some suggestions which of course can be tossed.  
{omit}[add]

{In an age where}[Our] society
is supposed to be {more}...

streamlined,

    advanced,

            respectful,

                   caring,

                        considerate,

                             proud,

                                  willing...

{why do I feel as though}
[yet] we live in the

Dark

     Ages

            of

                Charlemagne{?}[!]


Nobility and loyalty;
two words
tossed about
like {a} hackey-sack[s].


"By the sword
                  and the cross."


Last week, I witnessed the worst
national disaster in our history.


{Five days ago,} I saw people
being raped, beaten,
shot at, left for dead;
on national television.


Two days ago, I heard
excuses by politicians
who cannot talk their
way out: this time.


Today, I heard sirens blaring;
instinctively, I jumped to my feet.


{Then} [I]t dawned on me:
Have we come so far?

Who
     can
           I
              {save}? Would "help" be a better word here?  Naturally
we can't save them all but we can try to help.  ???

Our society
is supposed to be ...

streamlined,

    advanced,

            respectful,

                   caring,

                        considerate,

                             proud,

                                  willing...

yet we live in the

Dark

     Ages

            of

                Charlemagne!


Nobility and loyalty;
two words
tossed about
like hackey-sacks.


"By the sword
                  and the cross."


Last week, I witnessed the worst
national disaster in our history.

I saw people
being raped, beaten,
shot at, left for dead;
on national television.


Two days ago, I heard
excuses by politicians
who cannot talk their
way out: this time.


Today, I heard sirens blaring;
instinctively, I jumped to my feet.


It dawned on me:
Have we come so far?

Who
     can
           I
              help?

Something for you to consider.  I thought tightening might
give your powerful message more impact.

Cathy

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Hi Lori

I was just popping in to read, glanced at this and HAVE to say how powerfully this moves me.

I very much like the very personal questioning expressed here - it puts in to words so starkly and eloquently what so many people around the world must be feeling at the moment. The horror of so many stories and the pictures on the tv that bear them out.

Charlemagne was the king of the Francs (and grandson of Charles Martel ! - 'Charles the Hammer' ): more details from Wikki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlemagne

Fran

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Lori, Fran,

Thanks for the Wiki link, Fran - excellent.

I'll bet he's related to the brandy family then. :)

As regards the Wiki explanation I'm confused. It seems to say Charley was a good man who encouraged learning. But I thought you, Lori, used it as the opposite (dark ages). emm? any help for my brain, please?

Thanks in anticipation, J.

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Hi James,

Nope, the brandy is marteLL (double L)  :)

Perhaps Charlemagne's name is just a representative of the 'dark ages'?

Fran

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Lori, Fran,

Thanks Fran.

Lori...

If, as Fran suggests, Charlie's name is merely representative, the I would advise changing that because, according to the small amount I've read he was actually a beacon in those times. Of course, you may know far more than I...

J.

[Cleo_Serapis]

A warm hello to James, Nina, Cathy and Fran!  :wave:

I'm off to work so only have a few minutes, however I wanted to reply to a very good question you've raised.

Yes, I used Charlemagne's name as representative of the 'dark ages' - you are correct Fran - considering he was for making things right leading them away from troubled times, I think I need to change that line.  :knight:

Here is what I was thinking:
Since the term Dark Ages is representative of Medieval Europe - medieval to mean: belonging to the Middle Ages, I thought it may sound repetitive if I wrote it as:
Dark

    Ages

           of

               Medieval Europe.

What do you think? A few alternatives could be:

Since The Dark Ages was period in Western European history that followed the disintegration of the West Roman Empire into the period of the Renaissance perhaps I could say:

The Dark Ages (of the fall) of the Roman Empire

OR

The Dark Ages of the Barbarians?

So - does anyone fancy one of these three alternatives perhaps?  :cali:  :troy:  :vic:

I thank you all for your kind words and crits thus far.

I'll be back :termie: later to respond individually.

Cheers!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Ephiny]

Hi Lori

This piece is so powerful and it is a brilliant point and comparison that you make..about how far we might have really come since the Dark Ages that are supposedly merely confined now to the pages of history books.

I thought the line "Dark Ages of Charlemagne" was really good and my immediate response to it is that I wouldn't change it at all (this is just me though!)  The phrase Dark Ages seemed sufficient in putting the point across, and the name, even though I was not familiar with it, made the line all the more powerful because it brought a specific story into the poem, rather than a more general comparison.  Just a thought..

I love



Nobility and loyalty;
two words
tossed about
like hackey-sacks.


"By the sword
                 and the cross."   wonderfully striking

This is really topical and all the more powerful for being so descriptive and well-written..a great job

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Lori,

If you're after historical accuracy then we have a (slight) problem, Huston. Modern historians have considerably revised our perspectives of medieval times in Europe. Nowadays it is recognised that learning, justice and progress all flourished in a way which was not understood hitherto. In t'other words, just because the Renaissance period ended did not mean that other forms of progress and enlightenment did not take-over; they did.

Ironically, this then fits your use of Charlie well. However, what it doesn’t fit the use of “Dark Ages” which, in historical academia, I suspect is no longer used very much as a value / research judgement; maybe only as a noun because we are used to it.

Maybe “Dark Ages” is rather short-cuttish, too? Maybe you could expand on today's miserable circumstances more, rather than depend on historical allusion for effect - especially as that historical allusion is no longer current thinking.

I suppose this complicates things but I hope it would also make the poem stronger. I should have thought about it earlier, apologies, I was rather taken with your poem and, as I mentioned, if I thought of anything, I’d return. Hello!

Cheers, J.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi James.

Thanks for stopping back in.

Not necessarily historical accuracy, but moreso to describe a period of chaotic unrest. In my case, the 'Dark Ages' which occured prior to the Renaissance (just after the fall of the Romans and Greeks) is what I am after.

Some definitions of this period are: "The period of history between classical antiquity and the Italian Renaissance" , and "a period of stagnation and obscurity in literature and art, lasting, according to Hallam, nearly 1000 years, from about 500 to about 1500 A. D" which is also referred to as the Middle Ages (but I like the term Dark Ages more) : "The period in European history between antiquity and the Renaissance, often dated from A.D. 476 to 1453."

So, because Charlemagne was a key figure in the turning point, I think I may want to change that line to possibly the others I've mentioned as I want that line to mean a 'low point', not a 'turning point'.

This leads me to questioning my ending:
Then it dawned on me:
Have we come so far?

Who
     can
           I
              save?


I had the word 'help' in mind too - but I am also pondering the word 'turn'.

What do you think?
Cheers!
~Cleo  

[Cleo_Serapis]

HI.

A co-worker of mine just came up with this idea for the ending:


Then it dawned on me:
Have we come so far?

To

    Whom

          can

               I

                 extend

                       my

                          hand?

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Hi Lori,

I like the ending suggested.  You could also say:

Will
   I
    extend
            my
               hand?

As for the "Dark Ages" why not forget that period
of history, drop "the" and go with "dark ages"
of modern times.

yet we live in
dark
   ages
         of
           shame

OR

yet we live in
dark
    ages
          of
            apathy

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Lori, a wonderful discussion and a wonderful poem. (No more ideas form me right now; just finding the whole thread very interesting - thanks.)

Fran

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Lori,

I like the ending suggested.  You could also say:

Will
   I
    extend
            my
               hand?

As for the "Dark Ages" why not forget that period
of history, drop "the" and go with "dark ages"
of modern times.

yet we live in
dark
   ages
         of
           shame

OR

yet we live in
dark
    ages
          of
            apathy

Hi Cathy.

Yes - you've got something here!

The first person references do not actually have to be 'me' - they can be 'society'.  :cali:

I like you suggested ending too - which can tie into the above: Will I extend my hand? This can be both a question and a call to action methink?  :detective:

I also like your:
dark
    ages
          of
            apathy
idea. I could also say:

dark
    ages
          of
            indifference too (same meaning).

Thanks Cathy (and Fran) for visiting again!  :lovie:

~Cleo  :galadriel:

[Ephiny]

I'm back again as well!!  I think the ending line "will I extend my hand" is very good..very fitting for the poem, and Cathy's phrase "dark ages of apathy" is excellent, very specific..and I think the "dark ages" phrase really fits the modern problems you describe..perhaps you could even mention an alternative specific historical event that might fit in..just as a brief reference or something..though as it is, it's terrific!

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Hi Lori,

Yes - you've got something here!

Glad I could give you some ideas.    

The first person references do not actually have to be 'me' - they can be 'society'.

Yep, this could easily refer to all of us.  

I like you suggested ending too - which can tie into the above: Will I extend my hand? This can be both a question and a call to action methink?

Gives you something to think about.  If faced with a situation, what will I do?  

I also like your:
dark
   ages
         of
           apathy
idea. I could also say:

dark
   ages
         of
           indifference too (same meaning).

You could also use "dark age of impassivity".  You have a lot of ideas to work with!  

Cathy

[Blank_Canvas]

Lori,
     This was beautifully done and speaks to the heart so soon after the hurricane and it's horrible aftermath. When did people become so de-sensitized that they would loot, kill, rape and terrorize a people who are already traumatized and heartbroken ? Their fellow statesmen... children, even.....we have reached an all-time low. Whisperings of Satan.....
      We become the instruments of God combating the whisperings of Satan. This poem speaks of that objective, I think....and very nicely, too !
       Lori, I want to save this one if it is o.k. with you. I have family in 3 separate areas of Louisiana who might be interested to read it when their hearts have healed some....
                                Marcia

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Lori,

>L>What do I think?

I think I'm brain-dead, sorry (excuse: 2.5 hours' sleep last night - zonked!)

Of course the Dark Ages came before the Renaissance - else there would be nothing for a re-birth! Sorry. But it doesn't invalid the argument - modern thought is that the dark ages weren't bad and the renaissance was simply a cultural change and not a rebirth of culture after a vacuum. Apologies.

>L>Thanks for stopping back in.

You're welcome. I love confusing! :(

>L>Not necessarily historical accuracy, but more so to describe a period of chaotic unrest. In my case, the 'Dark Ages' which occurred prior to the Renaissance (just after the fall of the Romans and Greeks) is what I am after.

Yes, you have the right historic chronology - sorry (see above). But it is those dark ages which it is now said weren't dark at all for the majority.

Of course, if historical accuracy isn't important, do anything - no limits.

>L>Some definitions of this period are: "The period of history between classical antiquity and the Italian Renaissance" , and "a period of stagnation and obscurity in literature and art, lasting, according to Hallam, nearly 1000 years, from about 500 to about 1500 A. D" which is also referred to as the Middle Ages (but I like the term Dark Ages more) : "The period in European history between antiquity and the Renaissance, often dated from A.D. 476 to 1453."

Yes, no arguments about the chronology - my sleepy error. But there is an argument about stagnation - many scholars would now strongly deny that. “The Middle Ages” carries no real baggage but “The Dark Ages” does.

>L>So, because Charlemagne was a key figure in the turning point, I think I may want to change that line to possibly the others I've mentioned as I want that line to mean a 'low point', not a 'turning point'.

>L>This leads me to questioning my ending:

Then it dawned on me:
Have we come so far?

Who
    can
          I
             save?


I had the word 'help' in mind too - but I am also pondering the word 'turn'.

>L>What do you think

I think we’re confusing (at least) three things here (quite apart from my erroneous chronology!): Culture and compassion and political vision. The Romans were highly civilized and supported “culture” and “the arts” which flourished. Nevertheless, by our standards it was an uncompassionate empire with many barbaric practices. Some would argue that the USA is not an artistic bastion but, despite rich / poor schisms and various specific questions, I think that most people would regard it as a very compassionate society by historic standards. The UK is probably is a similar position.

With the deep south crisis of this past week , clearly culture (as in “the arts”) is irrelevant. But I’m not sure compassion enters the argument, either. As far as I’ve seen on tv, the rescue workers have been very compassionate. I don’t think, for a minute, that if George Bush saw someone drowning in the NO waters he wouldn’t try to pull them out. So, I think it comes back to political inertia, lack of dynamism and imagination of leadership: a political vacuum. To some extent the was in NO too - but DC did have hindsight, which NO didn’t.

I don’t know if I’m being helpful here? I’m tired but trying to argue that:

1 I thought “dark ages” inappropriate because it seems they weren’t dark. (even though they, of course, happened prior to the re-birth.

2 I don’t think the US suffered either a crisis in compassion (save the morons and lunatics who attacked people)  not do I think it is culturally backwards - maybe not culturally perfect but not backwards. And even if it were culturally backward that would not matter. I think the failure was simply political. Interestingly, the Romans had many political failings too. Charlie, I think was a successful leader so I can’t really see him being a great eg, given what you want to say, as far as I can see it.

So I would be more inclined to ask what do culture and compassion matter if organisation lacks?

Your poem - just trying to answer your q.

I hope this time that makes sense. If not, I’ll get some sleep before I return.

Cheers, J.