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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ Poetry Exhibition -> Plato's Pearls of Wisdom _ Unnoticed

Posted by: Aphrodite Mar 3 07, 12:37

I want to pull my body up from
my toes and over my head,

so I am inside out. To hide eyes of
self-deprecation and ears blasting

with screams of lies and deception.

I want to bury the foul stench of hypocrisy
heaped high on plates of selfishness,

which paralyzes from dishonesty
as my skin crawls with sneaky spiders

leaving every hair standing.

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

Like a bouncing ball, round and perfectly
unnoticed,

I want to roll away and hide.
©Linda Balboni 2007

Posted by: jgdittier Mar 4 07, 12:27

QUOTE (Aphrodite @ Mar 3 07, 17:37 ) *
I want to pull my body up from
my toes and over my head,

so I am inside out. To hide eyes of
self-deprecation and ears blasting

with screams of lies and deception.

I want to bury the foul stench of hypocrisy
heaped high on plates of selfishness,

which paralyzes from dishonesty
as my skin crawls with sneaky spiders

leaving every hair standing.

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

Like a bouncing ball, round and perfectly
unnoticed,

I want to roll away and hide.
©Linda Balboni 2007

Dear Lindi,
I certainly hope your ability to express emotions was at play rather than true emotions.
This piece packs a wallop and certainly is a success as to achieving its aims.
If you must "roll away" I wish it to be to Shangra La.
Cheers, Ron jgd

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Mar 4 07, 12:36

WOW Lindi - what a poignant piece!

The Narrator is this one is certainly at odds and you've written each word so meticulously and with much thought behind them.

This is certainly an eye-opening in the voice portrayed.

Well done!
~Cleo claps.gif

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Mar 4 07, 12:39

BTW I love your new avatar - is this one of your own pics?

Posted by: JustDaniel Mar 5 07, 00:32

Wow, Lindi...

I'm sorry that I'd not noticed this one... 'cause it's mighty powerful. I've met this ball, been with a box full of them... and even been this ball. I know the powerful lying truth of this one inside and out.

Again, all I can say is WOW!

sLightly stunned, Daniel sun.gif

Posted by: Aphrodite Mar 6 07, 17:33

QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Mar 4 07, 17:36 ) *
WOW Lindi - what a poignant piece!

The Narrator is this one is certainly at odds and you've written each word so meticulously and with much thought behind them.

This is certainly an eye-opening in the voice portrayed.

Well done!
~Cleo claps.gif


Hi Lori, Snowflake.gif

I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment so thoroughly on my piece.

Thanks a bunch and stay warm!

Lindi

Posted by: Aphrodite Mar 6 07, 17:40

QUOTE (jgdittier @ Mar 4 07, 17:27 ) *
QUOTE (Aphrodite @ Mar 3 07, 17:37 ) *
I want to pull my body up from
my toes and over my head,

so I am inside out. To hide eyes of
self-deprecation and ears blasting

with screams of lies and deception.

I want to bury the foul stench of hypocrisy
heaped high on plates of selfishness,

which paralyzes from dishonesty
as my skin crawls with sneaky spiders

leaving every hair standing.

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

Like a bouncing ball, round and perfectly
unnoticed,

I want to roll away and hide.
©Linda Balboni 2007

Dear Lindi,
I certainly hope your ability to express emotions was at play rather than true emotions.
This piece packs a wallop and certainly is a success as to achieving its aims.
If you must "roll away" I wish it to be to Shangra La.
Cheers, Ron jgd


Hello Ron, Snowflake.gif

I apologize as I almost missed your comments.

Hmmmm.....Shangra La sounds tempting, and I appreciate your well-constructed comments.

I am glad that you felt the "sting" from my poem, and that is precisely what I tried to achieve.

Have a wonderful evening! Artist.gif

Lindi

Posted by: Aphrodite Mar 6 07, 17:48

QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Mar 5 07, 05:32 ) *
Wow, Lindi...

I'm sorry that I'd not noticed this one... 'cause it's mighty powerful. I've met this ball, been with a box full of them... and even been this ball. I know the powerful lying truth of this one inside and out.

Again, all I can say is WOW!

sLightly stunned, Daniel sun.gif

Hello Daniel, mickeymouse.gif

I appreciate you reading and commenting on another one of my poems! Yes, there are times that life really brings overwhelming challenges.
I guess being sensitive,as we are, really brings emotions to the surface!

Stay warm and be well. minniemouse.gif

Lindi

Posted by: 4rum Sep 13 07, 04:02

Often the need for escape is the inspiration for a great write. Whether into fantasy, adventure, love or inner turmoil, it brings out the emotions. You've let youself 'feel' this write. It has come from within. Very provocative!

Posted by: Aphrodite Sep 27 07, 16:30

QUOTE (4rum @ Sep 13 07, 09:02 ) *
Often the need for escape is the inspiration for a great write. Whether into fantasy, adventure, love or inner turmoil, it brings out the emotions. You've let youself 'feel' this write. It has come from within. Very provocative!

Hello 4rum,

I appreciate you commenting on my poem and "feeling" it. wink.gif

I look forward to reading some of your work soon!

Take care.

Lindi

Posted by: Lady Poet Sep 27 07, 17:11

Oh my dear!

You've just described most of my life...I guess I didn't have to tell you that, but I wanted
you to know how much I empathised with this heart wrenchingly poignant poem. A truly great write! I paricularly was drawn to:

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

While I have felt that many times, still I am grateful for the experience of pain and the inner bleeding of unseen wounds, for to overcome them, makes us stronger, and by writing them out gives us insight into our own psyche and souls. I may be speaking out of turn, the statement is true of me.

I love your ball metaphor. There are no changes I could possibly offer for this brilliantly evocative work of heart.

Blessings, Pami butterfly.gif

Posted by: Aphrodite Sep 30 07, 08:42

QUOTE (Lady Poet @ Sep 27 07, 22:11 ) *
Oh my dear!

You've just described most of my life...I guess I didn't have to tell you that, but I wanted
you to know how much I empathised with this heart wrenchingly poignant poem. A truly great write! I paricularly was drawn to:

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

While I have felt that many times, still I am grateful for the experience of pain and the inner bleeding of unseen wounds, for to overcome them, makes us stronger, and by writing them out gives us insight into our own psyche and souls. I may be speaking out of turn, the statement is true of me.

I love your ball metaphor. There are no changes I could possibly offer for this brilliantly evocative work of heart.

Blessings, Pami butterfly.gif


Hi Pami,

I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Believe me when I say, I have a full and rich life, a nice husband, incredible children and a very close family, still, there are times I want to run and hide!

I suppose we all feel like that once and a while! (obviously, the day I wrote this poem, I really needed to run away from reality) running.gif

Thanks again for your feedback and have a great day!

Lindi

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